Michal's HeadlinesWherever

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An overlay of Occupy Sandy recovery locations over NOAA's aerial imagery of affected areas
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Margo behind a tree

Wherever, a cultural introduction

Getting to know the word from all angles...

Michal's mulling over the practicality of supplementing his considerable Fiction Corpus with a book about websites featuring daily science fiction; cites fatigueDictionary icon

I think highly of the soundness of harnessing English as humanity's second language. I don't trust in the debilitating modus operandi by which the English language is taught.Pointer

Fine-tuning one's command of a language isn't like making a smoother toilet paper. A language - a spoken tongue - isn't merely an instrument that you can teach yourself to manipulate with greater amounts of precision. A shared tongue can not be split from the professed knowledge of a group of people of which it is a description. A language isn't recited; it happens - and keeps happening as long as a circle of people keeps using it.

To make pupils recite English is to rob them of its cultural context. A good teacher must find a way to introduce it; the smartest student ventures out to seek it.

A dictionary has the potential to be an influential tool. A decent dictionary will describe words based on a specific corpus, a body of writing of various size and consistency. A corpus may include anything from a book about literature to some really fictional short stories. I lost many a night creating my "humungous" Fiction Corpus in order to form a specific kind of dictionary based on the ability of one man to tell a story in myriad forms. It is a labor of love and listening.

I have pieced together a million words and I have ordered them, reshaping them - not merely to teach a tongue but to promote the human soul, and to pressure that soul or spirit not just to recite but to happen.

Michal's Dictionary Navigation

A Better Way to Define English: Grouped into Eight Types of WordsPointer

Type 2 Answers the Question, "How?"

The 8 types of words can be associated with the days of the week in the Acceptance calendar. Monday, or Labor Day respresents the "How"

Michal's Dictionary:
Understanding the word Wherever

A word can represent many things. First and foremost it represents a type of gesture. A specific way of speaking. A specific way of inscribing a mark. A specific way of moving your hand. To know one of these kinds of gestures is to know how to pronounce the word wherever in some kind of way.

If you want to communicate an idea using the word wherever, you will need to know what other people are made to think when you make the gesture. You will never have complete awareness of or control over the associations or identities that are invoked by a set of words, but you can know what was and what is a single word's jointly accepted definition, at least for a given place, thereby tracing a direction which will help you to understand what kinds of associations and identities are driving its use.

By using the word yourself, you enter into a long-standing albeit oftentimes unconscious debate over its definition, forever entangling yourself into the history of its use. The way you use it, and which other words you use it with carries weight.

The more you know about where the word wherever is located in the fabric of a language, the better you will be at exploiting its cultural power.

Pronunciation of WhereverMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the word wherever.

Video of me pronouncing "wherever."

Definition of WhereverMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish the definition of wherever.

I'm sure it won't take too long.

Common use of wherever in illustrative example sentencesMargo on a trampoline

  1. You can go wherever you want, just make sure you knock first.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  2. I have yet to come up with another sentence using the word wherever.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  3. I have yet to come up with a third sentence using the word wherever.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  4. I have yet to come up with a fourth sentence using the word wherever.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  5. I have yet to come up with a fifth sentence using the word wherever.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  6. I have yet to come up with a sixth sentence using the word wherever.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  7. I have yet to come up with a seventh sentence using the word wherever.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:

Usage of Wherever in Michal's Fiction CorpusMargo on a trampoline

An image of young Michal sitting on a potty in front of a typewriter

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

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Wherever, a morphological approach

I have yet to make a morphological analysis of the word wherever.

That doesn't mean it's not high on my list.

Table of Frequency for the Word "Wherever."

This table lists in descending order the total number of times that the word whereverand any of its morphological derivations appears in the Fiction Corpus, along with a breakdown of frequency by title, the respective rank of each word in the complete list of all words in the Corpus, as calculated both densely and competitively, as well as the percent increase in frequency of the word over the frequency of the next lowest rank in the complete list.

Margo stretching her arms
Percent Increase over next rankRANKWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
densecompetitivemodern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
-----------
I have yet to publish the table of frequency for the word wherever, but I will get to it shortly. -Michal

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Usage of Wherever in Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind

A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #5660

as sheriff i wonder if ill have to be on the barge when it goes wherever its going. nobody has explained that to me yet.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

4 December, 1:08 PM

Frame #3545

the podcars heading south. its a luxury model. that means slow scenic routes. wherever chase's going it isnt down the block.

JC Penney

8 September, 8:12 AM

Frame #5793

i told the men to sleep wherever they want tonight. i also told them to keep whatever they find. a little looting should distract them.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

7 December, 4:03 PM

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Usage of Wherever in The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars

An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

The MTA stationed itself around Olympus Mons and around every major point on the irrigation system, which, after decades upon decades of eager development, became vast and unknowable to men, penetrating far-flung regions with massive amounts of pressure, complicated systems and safeguards, gauges, unseen aqueducts forming strange and multifarious designs - mostly thanks to geography, of course, but also thanks to economics and evolving technology, which insisted on placing new pipes next to old ones, better pumps next to broken ones, and whole new branches of irrigation in previously undeveloped areas wherever greenhouses popped up, according to the most recent wind patterns, leaving old branches completely abandoned wherever dust had made growing unfavorable - but whose first and greatest branch went straight down (in order to beat the Southern Ice Cap Company into submission) to the southern hemisphere, to the Hellas basin, where, being the lowest point on Mars, the first permanent settlements were made (in the dubious hope that the elevation and increased pressure would somehow prove useful to Martian civilization) which, in turn, came to coalesce and grow into the modern urban giant called Centropolis.

Verse 9 from the chapter called Childhood

"Oh Lord," he said. "Have mercy on Your humble servant; he suffers, Lord - like You! Oh Lord! On the Holy Cross, Lord, have mercy on me! Let me not suffer so much! Let me do my work, Lord! I am Your servant. I am Yours to command. Lord, please: let me do your bidding! Oh Mama!" Jesus yelled. "Pray to the Lord, Mama. Let Him heal me. Please: I loved you always. You were always my mother, Mama - please! Lord, have mercy on me: I am Your servant. I remember my oath. Tell my father I remember: I will stop him - her - Zeus - Oh Lord! Whatever! Please: just let me go. Let me go wherever I have to go. I will do it. I will do it. I will go to Mars, Lord. I will go there if you let me. Oh Lord: let me see the morning! Let me see the morning, Lord! If you don't help me, Lord, I don't think I'll see the morning."

Verse 479 from the chapter called Arms

"Anyone who would come. During Mass, my mother let me roam around wherever I wanted. I would always come here though, so I could show people what a bad thing there was."

Verse 397 from the chapter called Security

He was afraid of God; he feared that God might abandon him halfway through to wherever he was going. God was capable of crushing His servant, whether God came in the form of an angry terrorist or in the form of poisoned ketchup - the ways were endless; the source, only one: Jesus knew he was in the hands of God, Whose potential capriciousness was always a threat. Jesus trusted Him though - at least for the time being. The greatness to which Jesus seemed to be hurtling was of use to God - why else would He put His servant through such trials? There was a reason. Jesus didn't think God desired anything but Man's love. That would be difficult: Man was like a proud woman: not one who is quick to admit her faults. God's plan, whatever it be, would have to be complicated - ingenious, no doubt, but constantly frustrated by Man's will. Like so many great warriors before him, your father had to remind himself not to place God on his side, but to place himself on God's. Jesus's will was allied. Whatever God's plan be, Jesus was glad to be of service. However, as soon as Jesus's actions began influencing world events to a significant extent, Jesus began to wonder: is this it? Is this the extent of God's purpose for me? Is this where my biography shall end?

Verse 5 from the chapter called Bohemia

"Well, wherever it came from, the Portuguese made it popular in Europe."

Verse 489 from the chapter called Arms

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Usage of Wherever in Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed

A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

NIKE: I'll take you wherever you want to go. I just want to talk to you.

BARB: You just want to talk? Why should I believe you?

NIKE: I don't know...because, I swear to God?

BARB: Alright: but it won't be long.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 2, The Second Day, Part 1, Labor & Economic Reform, Section 22, Encountering Poverty, Paragraphs 124-127

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Usage of Wherever in Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla

A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

The woman stared at it. She pursed her lips. She asked, "For how long?"

Nike smiled. "It's up to you. I can take you wherever you want."

"I don't understand."

"What's the problem? Do you want me to swear I won't hurt you? You're not going to be safer out here. All I want to do is talk."

"Why?"

– from “Paris Is For Rapists, Too,” a ghost story featuring an interesting description of human anatomy

An official from the State Department came to see Shephard one day. The secretary told him, "Saylor? the lieutenant?" was "out to lunch." She rolled her eyes.

The visitor smiled. He had seen this attitude before. Wherever Shephard went, he left behind a trail of scorned women. They always refused to disguise their spite. He explained he was an old friend.

"I see." The woman went back to her nails.

"I'm sorry. When do you expect him?"

"How should I know? Ask his girlfriend."

– from “Two Dudes and a Chinese Desert,” a friendship story featuring a frank discussion of the smells produced by a camel

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Usage of Wherever in Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall

A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

"Wherever" does not make an appearance in Sorry Miss Jackson.

- Michal Slaby

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Usage of Wherever in Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats

A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

I used my weekend to visit town. I bought a small grammar and books about local history and the Great Patriotic War. I also bought another box of chocolates.

– from “A Black Man in Moscow,” an inspirational story that describes the human race wherever it tries to suvive

When I go to Moscow and I see Barack twitching and in pain, I curse his enemies and I mourn his suffering. But when I am outside on the streets, and I hear the words "dirty chocolate" and "wipe your face," I cannot help but laugh. I look up with my chin held high and I smile and smile like a fool.

– from “A Black Man in Moscow,” an inspirational story that describes life as we know it wherever we may live

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Collocation of Wherever in the Fiction Corpus

Table of Collocation for the Word "Wherever."

This table lists in descending order of frequency a selection of word pairs that appear in the Fiction Corpus and groups them according to the morphological derivation of the word wherever that appears in the pair.

TypeWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
modern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
--------
I have yet to perform a collocation analysis of "wherever." I hope I can get it done sometime soon. -Michal

Love is the answer...

What are we waiting for? Let's accept it!

Are you a eunuch?

The art show that defies abuse

The Body Acceptance Calendar

A really good idea for a monthly calendar

If a 45-year-old businesswoman and hard working mother of three kids is going to pose nude for a calendar, it's gonna have to be a good one. Margo didn't start a coffee shop called the Vagina Cafe to win her favors from the establishment. Even as she dishes out prizes to the 20 women who placed last in the twentienth anniversary run of her town's biggest road race, her business, unlike everyone else, doesn't get mentioned. She was an official sponsor for Christ's sake! But the announcer just couldn't swallow his patriarchy and get the words "Vagina Cafe" out of his mouth. That's not something a proper gentleman would say in front of a crowd of humble God-fearing "ladies" who cherish their modesty! And a Body Acceptance Calendar is certainly not what a humble God-fearing book-seller like a Barnes and Noble would put on their shelves! So how do I expect to sell this in the mainstream? Maybe if you download the free versions a thousand billion times it might help. Start downloading.

A miniature portrait of MichalMargo at the beach

Your support keeps the "Wherever" page up and running...

If you love women and art...

Michal is importing Polish art...is he non compos mentis?

Michal's Sales Pitch
Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts

  1. T-shirt fundraiser for sale

    Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser for sale.

    Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed. Pointer

    From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  2. Felt handbag for sale

    Handcrafted felt handbag for sale.

    Felt bag by Dorota. Pointer

    Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  3. Decorative collar for sale

    Handcrafted decorative collar for sale.

    Decorative collar by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  4. Seamless handbag for sale

    Handcrafted seamless handbag for sale.

    Handbag by Sylwia. Pointer

    Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  5. Patchwork quilt for sale

    Handcrafted patchwork quilt for sale.

    Patchwork quilt by Alicja. Pointer

    Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  6. Nuno-felt shawl for sale

    Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl for sale.

    Shawl by Sylwia. Pointer

    Scarf made ​​with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  7. Clara the doll for sale

    Handcrafted clara the doll for sale.

    Clara by Alicja. Pointer

    Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  8. Noah the doll for sale

    Handcrafted noah the doll for sale.

    Noah by Alicja. Pointer

    Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  9. Black suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted black suspenders for sale.

    Black suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  10. Orange suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted orange suspenders for sale.

    Orange suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  11. Green suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted green suspenders for sale.

    Green suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  12. Felt earrings for sale

    Handcrafted felt earrings for sale.

    Felt earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  13. Round ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted round ceramic earrings for sale.

    Round ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  14. Oblong ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings for sale.

    Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  15. 'Coral' necklace for sale

    Handcrafted 'coral' necklace for sale.

    Corals by Sylwia. Pointer

    Necklace made ​​of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser
Handcrafted felt handbag
Handcrafted decorative collar
Handcrafted seamless handbag
Handcrafted patchwork quilt
Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl
Handcrafted clara the doll
Handcrafted noah the doll
Handcrafted black suspenders
Handcrafted orange suspenders
Handcrafted green suspenders
Handcrafted felt earrings
Handcrafted round ceramic earrings
Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings
Handcrafted 'coral' necklace