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Margo behind a tree

Boats, a cultural introduction

Getting to know the word from all angles...

Michal declines to debate the soundness of expanding his extravagant Fiction Corpus with a bunch of story books; cites fatigueDictionary icon

I accept the practicality of exploiting English as everybody's second language. I don't accept the altogether plodding mode in which the English tongue is presented for study.Pointer

Honing one's expertness with a language isn't like bringing about a stronger crank. A language - a spoken language - isn't merely a tool that you can teach yourself to wield with a greater amount of precision. A language can't be disunited from the professed knowledge of a group of people of which it is a description. A language isn't recited; it happens - and keeps happening as long as a circle of people keeps using it.

Teaching students to recite English is to cheat them out of its cultural context. A capable instructor must find a method of introducing it; the smartest student goes out to seek it.

A dictionary - properly used - can become an influential tool. A decent dictionary will describe words based on a particular corpus, a set of writing of various size and consistency. They can include everything from a book about literature to some truly realistic fiction. I lost many a sleepless night developing my "extravagant" Fiction Corpus in order to form a unique kind of dictionary based on the ability of one man to tell a story in myriad forms. It is a labor of love and listening.

I have molded a million words and I have anatomized them, reshaping them - not merely to teach the English language but to reveal the human spirit, and to coax that spirit or soul not just to recite but to happen.

Michal's Dictionary Navigation

Artifacts, fuels, and persons: Definitions in Michal's FictionPointer

More: Artifacts

Common artifacts appearing frequently in Michal's Corpus

Help End Bullying With ArtOne of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe.

Strength and dignity are her clothing...

Proverbs 31:25

Author's Note: I have been enjoined from sharing the details of my true romance adventure until such time that the other party is prepared to present her perspective on the affair arrangement...Pointer

Europe, the summer of 2011. Twelve countries. 46 days. One car. One tent. One man. One woman he's just met.

Though as an artist I had been working on body acceptance since the start of my career, and as a one-time practicing figure model was used to being nude in a social setting, I had been left largely unexposed to the community of naturists and nudists working towards the same goal of promoting the human being. Visiting nude beaches and resorts along the East Coast and participating in events organized around New York by Young Naturists America, I was left hungry for more and had come to Europe to see things from their side of the pond. Margo was my introduction.

From America I brought with me the American can-do spirit. She saw the car that I had bought, the terrible camp stove I had borrowed, and my sundry canned goods and challenged me to make-do. In my optimism I assured her that if we lacked for anything I would make up the difference. She assured me that if she lacked for anything she would find her way to the nearest airport and fly home. Luckily that never happened.

Margo and I spent over 40 days on the road. We started out as basically strangers, but in those 40 days we started listening to each other. We started teaching ourselves how to cooperate. Our journey across Europe may have ended, but our journey towards each other continues. No amount of fear, anger, sadness, disgust or anticipation can stop hope. Slowly but surely, we're learning how to beat the devils that abuse us.

One of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe.

6,000 miles across Europe with a complete stranger

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Day 2
7/21/2011
 1༛25/24

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FKK-Verein Donaustadt

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Vienna, Austria

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THE DISAPPEARING WOMAN, THE DISAPPEARING MAN...Pointer

a collection of modern art prints and posters

During our trip across Europe, Margo very bravely opened up to me and to the camera. It was a difficult thing to do considering the scars that she carries. I wanted to share with the world her often joyful, often sad, often angry but always liberating experience except that the Internet is full of pictures of naked women and men and full of trolls who abuse them.

I realized that what I really need to point out is not the openness that Margo and I cultivated between ourselves, but the darkness that continues to surround us. When I censor nudity, I do so in a way that does not compromise the integrity of the human body. In censoring the photographs that Margo and I took during our trip, I was quick to notice that in those pictures where Margo was at her most open, at her most unguarded and most relaxed, in a word, when she was herself and basking in the sun I was forced to blacken her completely.

Why does our society drive people into darkness? Why can we not accept ourselves as we are? Why can we not accept our bodies? Have we truly become eunuchs? Or are we capable of defying the sickness that pits us against each other? Together we could conquer the devils that abuse us.

Whether you enjoy being nude or not, whether you've been photographed nude or not, but especially if, for you, like for Margo, it's something you never thought you would do, consider submitting your own photograph to be published in a censored manner as a form of protest against the ubiquitous presence of the human body on the internet, naked or not, that is published and duplicated ad infinitum without context and without regard for the identity or the needs of the individual being depicted.

Michal's Dictionary:
Understanding the word Boats

A word can represent many things. First and foremost it represents a type of gesture. A specific way of speaking. A specific way of inscribing a mark. A specific way of moving your hand. To know one of these kinds of gestures is to know how to pronounce the word boats in some kind of way.

If you want to communicate an idea using the word boats, you will need to know what other people are made to think when you make the gesture. You will never have complete awareness of or control over the associations or identities that are invoked by a set of words, but you can know what was and what is a single word's jointly accepted definition, at least for a given place, thereby tracing a direction which will help you to understand what kinds of associations and identities are driving its use.

By using the word yourself, you enter into a long-standing albeit oftentimes unconscious debate over its definition, forever entangling yourself into the history of its use. The way you use it, and which other words you use it with carries weight.

The more you know about where the word boats is located in the fabric of a language, the better you will be at exploiting its cultural power.

Pronunciation of BoatsMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the word boats.

Video of me pronouncing "boats."

Definition of BoatsMargo on a trampoline

Boats are things that generally float on the water in a marina or a harbor or next to a dock because it's easier for people to just leave them there rather than load them onto a trailer and take them some place else although that's what they'll have to do eventually if they live in a place where the winter gets cold enough for ice to form. Some boats don't float because they're broken. If they're at the bottom of the sea and they're big enough, somebody might come and salvage those boats, meaning they lift them up and sell the material from which they were made for scrap.

Common use of boats in illustrative example sentencesMargo on a trampoline

  1. There were no boats left in the marina when I walked by the other day. I guess winter is coming.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  2. I hear two fishing boats are still missing at sea. I hope everybody's okay.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  3. Did you hear about the artifacts that they salvaged from the old Roman boats they found at the bottom of the Mediterranean?

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  4. I have yet to come up with a fourth sentence using the word boats.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  5. I have yet to come up with a fifth sentence using the word boats.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  6. I have yet to come up with a sixth sentence using the word boats.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  7. I have yet to come up with a seventh sentence using the word boats.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:

Usage of Boats in Michal's Fiction CorpusMargo on a trampoline

An image of young Michal sitting on a potty in front of a typewriter

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Boats: Table of Contents

Boats, a morphological approach

I have yet to make a morphological analysis of the word boats.

That doesn't mean it's not high on my list.

Table of Frequency for the Word "Boats."

This table lists in descending order the total number of times that the word boatsand any of its morphological derivations appears in the Fiction Corpus, along with a breakdown of frequency by title, the respective rank of each word in the complete list of all words in the Corpus, as calculated both densely and competitively, as well as the percent increase in frequency of the word over the frequency of the next lowest rank in the complete list.

Margo stretching her arms
Percent Increase over next rankRANKWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
densecompetitivemodern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
-----------
I have yet to publish the table of frequency for the word boats, but I will get to it shortly. -Michal

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Boats: Table of Contents

Usage of Boats in Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind

A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #5889

were waiting on an extra canoe. if people went downtown in boats we can tow them but ive seen a few float over there on tires.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

13 December, 8:07 AM

Frame #6146

im driving up to elysian park. i told the men not to panic. trucks are not boats. and theres still four thousand feet of water between us.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

23 December, 7:41 AM

Frame #5973

the boats are here.

Justin Bieber

17 December, 1:13 PM

Frame #6579

lowes's alive. he lost track of the rest of his team. except for chuck. the guy he left with the boats. i told him to come back. we need him.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

23 December, 2:54 PM

Frame #6154

modjeska station says the boats in the water. people are aboard. with what looks like guns. we still cant see it from elysian park.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

23 December, 7:49 AM

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Boats: Table of Contents

Usage of Boats in The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars

An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

It was all very understandable: it was beneficial, of course. A way of life was lost, but what was gained? Cars! Computers! Television! Fiberglass powerboats! Common ground was lost, but we had mass transit! Mass production! Electrical lights! Tall office buildings! Aspirin!

Verse 147 from the chapter called Childhood

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Boats: Table of Contents

Usage of Boats in Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed

A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

"Boats" does not make an appearance in Sex For Children.

- Michal Slaby

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Boats: Table of Contents

Usage of Boats in Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla

A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

When the dust settled, the men gathered their courage. They found three rocks unlike any they had ever seen. Hauling them onto boats, they took them down the river to the Black Sea. They presented them to Gog, the lord of the hosts of the Matiani.

– from “In the Beginning, There was Gog,” a fantasy story featuring a woman from God knows where

Davis was so shocked, she ran away without her clothes. Sammy D was mesmerized. Dorothea sat slouched on a tiny bench. Her hand lay between her hairy, outstretched legs. Her soft, sedimented breasts had run aground like Viking boats upon her belly. She could barely lift her head. Sammy D stepped inside. For the sake of modesty, she shut the curtain.

– from “A Horse Named Clutch Bag,” an inspiring story featuring a man with a mean mother

"This is what happens," he huffed, "when I get angry." Gog pulled in front by a length. He swerved into the eunuchs' path. The boats collided.

– from “In the Beginning, There was Gog,” a fantasy story featuring a crazy kind of guy

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Boats: Table of Contents

Usage of Boats in Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall

A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

"Boats" does not make an appearance in Sorry Miss Jackson.

- Michal Slaby

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Boats: Table of Contents

Usage of Boats in Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats

A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

"Boats" does not make an appearance in Miscellaneous Dingbats

- Michal Slaby

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Boats: Table of Contents

Collocation of Boats in the Fiction Corpus

Table of Collocation for the Word "Boats."

This table lists in descending order of frequency a selection of word pairs that appear in the Fiction Corpus and groups them according to the morphological derivation of the word boats that appears in the pair.

TypeWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
modern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
--------
I have yet to perform a collocation analysis of "boats." I hope I can get it done sometime soon. -Michal

Love is the answer...

What are we waiting for? Let's accept it!

Are you a eunuch?

The art show that defies abuse

Filth, Portraiture

Censorship says everything...as should modern wall art

It's natural to hide dirty things. They're embarrassing. But we need to keep in mind that when we hide things that are difficult, we make them seem dirty when they're really something else entirely. And when we keep things that are easy in plain sight, we make them seem clean when they really aren't. That is dangerous.

A miniature portrait of MichalMargo at the beach

Help maintain the "Boats" page alive...

If you love women and art...

Michal's importing Polish art...is he kooks?

Michal's Sales Pitch
Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts

  1. T-shirt fundraiser for sale

    Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser for sale.

    Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed. Pointer

    From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  2. Felt handbag for sale

    Handcrafted felt handbag for sale.

    Felt bag by Dorota. Pointer

    Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  3. Decorative collar for sale

    Handcrafted decorative collar for sale.

    Decorative collar by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  4. Seamless handbag for sale

    Handcrafted seamless handbag for sale.

    Handbag by Sylwia. Pointer

    Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  5. Patchwork quilt for sale

    Handcrafted patchwork quilt for sale.

    Patchwork quilt by Alicja. Pointer

    Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  6. Nuno-felt shawl for sale

    Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl for sale.

    Shawl by Sylwia. Pointer

    Scarf made ​​with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  7. Clara the doll for sale

    Handcrafted clara the doll for sale.

    Clara by Alicja. Pointer

    Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  8. Noah the doll for sale

    Handcrafted noah the doll for sale.

    Noah by Alicja. Pointer

    Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  9. Black suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted black suspenders for sale.

    Black suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  10. Orange suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted orange suspenders for sale.

    Orange suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  11. Green suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted green suspenders for sale.

    Green suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  12. Felt earrings for sale

    Handcrafted felt earrings for sale.

    Felt earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  13. Round ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted round ceramic earrings for sale.

    Round ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  14. Oblong ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings for sale.

    Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  15. 'Coral' necklace for sale

    Handcrafted 'coral' necklace for sale.

    Corals by Sylwia. Pointer

    Necklace made ​​of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser
Handcrafted felt handbag
Handcrafted decorative collar
Handcrafted seamless handbag
Handcrafted patchwork quilt
Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl
Handcrafted clara the doll
Handcrafted noah the doll
Handcrafted black suspenders
Handcrafted orange suspenders
Handcrafted green suspenders
Handcrafted felt earrings
Handcrafted round ceramic earrings
Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings
Handcrafted 'coral' necklace