Michal's HeadlinesStatue

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Bielsko-Biala, Poland

Photographs by Michal Slaby
A map showing Bielsko-Biala's position within Silesia
Bielsko-Biała lies in the corner of Silesia
Margo behind a tree

Statue, a cultural introduction

Getting to know the word from all angles...

Michal is ruminating on the concept of reinforcing his monstrous Fiction Corpus with a treatise on welfare reforms; cites fatigueDictionary icon

I accept the potency of legislating English as the international community's second language. I don't accept the enervatingly inanimate recipe by which the English language is taught.Pointer

Honing one's artfulness with a language isn't like launching a smoother paper. A language - a common language - isn't merely an instrument that you can teach yourself to exploit with greater amounts of precision. A living language can't be unyoked from the shared logic of a society of which it is a description. A language isn't recited; it happens - and keeps happening as long as a circle of people keeps using it.

Teaching a person to recite English is to cheat him out of its cultural context. A good educator has to have a blueprint for introducing it; the smartest student goes out to seek it.

A dictionary can be an influential tool. A decent dictionary will describe words on the basis of a particular corpus, a body of written works of various scope and consistency. They might contain anything from a book about literature to a lot of elaborate fictions. I watched many nights pass developing my "unimposing" Fiction Corpus to form a distinct sort of dictionary based on the ability of one man to tell a story in many different forms. It is a labor of love and listening.

I have pieced together a million words and I have categorized them, reformulating them - not simply to teach the English tongue but to reveal the human soul, and to pressure that spirit or soul not just to recite but to happen.

Michal's Dictionary Navigation

Artifacts, fuels, and persons: Definitions in Michal's FictionPointer

More: Artifacts

Common artifacts appearing frequently in Michal's Corpus

Michal's Dictionary:
Understanding the word Statue

A word can represent many things. First and foremost it represents a type of gesture. A specific way of speaking. A specific way of inscribing a mark. A specific way of moving your hand. To know one of these kinds of gestures is to know how to pronounce the word statue in some kind of way.

If you want to communicate an idea using the word statue, you will need to know what other people are made to think when you make the gesture. You will never have complete awareness of or control over the associations or identities that are invoked by a set of words, but you can know what was and what is a single word's jointly accepted definition, at least for a given place, thereby tracing a direction which will help you to understand what kinds of associations and identities are driving its use.

By using the word yourself, you enter into a long-standing albeit oftentimes unconscious debate over its definition, forever entangling yourself into the history of its use. The way you use it, and which other words you use it with carries weight.

The more you know about where the word statue is located in the fabric of a language, the better you will be at exploiting its cultural power.

Pronunciation of StatueMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the word statue.

Video of me pronouncing "statue."

Definition of StatueMargo on a trampoline

A statue is usually a sculpture in the likeness of a man but this is not always the case. Because the man in question is usually either famous or supposed to be famous or else recognized for having done something, the sculpture in question can be in the likeness of anything that 's remotely famous, like a building.

Common use of statue in illustrative example sentencesMargo on a trampoline

  1. They put up a statue of the guy and then when it turned out he was protecting a child molester they tore it down.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  2. I bought a little statue of the Eiffel Tower. It's gonna be a nice paperweight.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  3. I have yet to come up with a third sentence using the word statue.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  4. I have yet to come up with a fourth sentence using the word statue.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  5. I have yet to come up with a fifth sentence using the word statue.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  6. I have yet to come up with a sixth sentence using the word statue.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  7. I have yet to come up with a seventh sentence using the word statue.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:

Usage of Statue in Michal's Fiction CorpusMargo on a trampoline

An image of young Michal sitting on a potty in front of a typewriter

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

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Statue, a morphological approach

I have yet to make a morphological analysis of the word statue.

That doesn't mean it's not high on my list.

Table of Frequency for the Word "Statue."

This table lists in descending order the total number of times that the word statueand any of its morphological derivations appears in the Fiction Corpus, along with a breakdown of frequency by title, the respective rank of each word in the complete list of all words in the Corpus, as calculated both densely and competitively, as well as the percent increase in frequency of the word over the frequency of the next lowest rank in the complete list.

Margo stretching her arms
Percent Increase over next rankRANKWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
densecompetitivemodern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
-----------
I have yet to publish the table of frequency for the word statue, but I will get to it shortly. -Michal

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Usage of Statue in Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind

A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #1300

i found the statue of the black mouse. it was covered with vines. somebody tied a note to the nose. let me guess. my informant.

JC Penney

10 August, 7:43 PM

Frame #1190

im on top of the statue. i never realized the crowds got so big here. it must be some kind of evening ritual for cheese heads.

JC Penney

8 August, 7:54 PM

Frame #1334

bears protect the thing i seek. there are statues here. im not sure if theyre bears. its hard to tell. there isnt much moonlight.

JC Penney

10 August, 9:34 PM

Frame #1307

the crosses are masts. its some kind of model ship next to what used to be a swimming pool. theres a crocodile statue.

JC Penney

10 August, 8:07 PM

Frame #1188

i knew this was a mistake. i need to find some high ground fast. theres a statue up ahead. maybe i can climb onto it.

JC Penney

8 August, 7:53 PM

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Usage of Statue in The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars

An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

"He was the first Polish pope," said Jesus. "He probably visited Treblinka - I don't know: his statue's everywhere - in every Polish town. He did lots and lots of good things back then. He was a very good man. When he was chosen for the popehood, it was the single greatest honor the Nation had ever received."

Verse 367 from the chapter called Security

"Many years ago," said Jesus, smirking, "before I was ripped from my homeland's arms and taken to the United States of America. This," said Jesus, pointing to a statue of St. Michael piercing the dragon, "is my guardian angel. When I was young - just barely able to walk - I would lead people to this dragon and say 'Pheh' - bad - waving my hand."

"Whom did you lead? Just anyone?"

Verses 395-396 from the chapter called Security

"Yes, well -"

"I'm just kidding," she said. "Who was he?"

"He was Pope many years ago."

"How many?"

"Hundreds and hundreds."

"What's his statue doing here?"

"He was Polish."

"That's it?"

Verses 359-366 from the chapter called Security

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Usage of Statue in Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed

A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

"Statue" does not make an appearance in Sex For Children.

- Michal Slaby

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Usage of Statue in Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla

A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

The suspect was probably Taiwanese, the Beipu incident having occurred first. Though he was present in the United States during the summer, he was now believed to be in Japan. He nursed a penchant for watching women fall from tall buildings, especially large statues. Presumably, he employed a type of breakaway collar on his victims. The FBI was paying attention. Help came from every angle. Juanita, of all people, came up with an idea.

– from “A Cop Named Patsy,” a funny story featuring a guy who lets people fall off of tall statues

The poor devil, crouching at the water's edge, his back to the beach and the waves lapping at his balls, had no idea what hit him. The dog, doubtlessly overjoyed to be out of retirement for the day, hit the man with such force that a slender plastic bag full of green little herbs dislodged itself from underneath the sign on its back.

"Cannabis!" yelled Patsy, running to the scene of the crime. "Cannabis!" he yelled, flailing all five limbs.

– from “A Cop Named Patsy,” a funny story featuring a guy who kills people by leaving them on top of large statues

A woman who started swimming crawl must have noticed something in the corner of her eye. She stopped and stared at Patsy's naked body. He waved and smiled. The woman screamed. Instead of pointing, she began splashing hysterically. The lifeguard dove into the water. Everybody stared. "I'm over here," cried Patsy.

– from “A Cop Named Patsy,” a funny story featuring a frank discussion of tall statues

"I'm telling you, Lieutenant, my Nancy would never have jumped-the Statue of Liberty of all places. She was a good girl, that's the God's honest truth. She was ambitious-true. She wanted to achieve great things. Not that she couldn't, but-you know. She was a very good student. Not great, but good."

– from “A Cop Named Patsy,” a funny story featuring a cop with an Irish given name and a Polish family name

"There are so many risks," continued Patsy. "So many things could go wrong. He must have tried it once before: someplace safe. A statue or a monument he was familiar with. If not in the United States, then where?"

"What's that?"

– from “A Cop Named Patsy,” a funny story featuring a cop with a sense of humor

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Usage of Statue in Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall

A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

"Statue" does not make an appearance in Sorry Miss Jackson.

- Michal Slaby

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Usage of Statue in Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats

A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

"Detective Carlson," came the mocking tone. "Nice of you to join us." The captain was at the crime scene. That meant there was no doubt. There was a link with the first body. "Are you ready for class?" continued the captain. "We're drawing from life today." It was another man. Standing naked. Twisting. His arm over his head. His eyes closed. His face cherry red. It was turned against his shoulder. Looking back as if on a lover. Frozen in a wistful remembrance of ecstasy too swiftly gone by. It was a statue of dead flesh.

– from “We Need To Talk,” a mystery story featuring a policeman put in a weird position

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Collocation of Statue in the Fiction Corpus

Table of Collocation for the Word "Statue."

This table lists in descending order of frequency a selection of word pairs that appear in the Fiction Corpus and groups them according to the morphological derivation of the word statue that appears in the pair.

TypeWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
modern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
--------
I have yet to perform a collocation analysis of "statue." I hope I can get it done sometime soon. -Michal

Love is the answer...

What are we waiting for? Let's accept it!

Are you a eunuch?

The art show that defies abuse

Filth, Portraiture

Censorship says everything...as should modern wall art

It's natural to hide dirty things. They're embarrassing. But we need to keep in mind that when we hide things that are difficult, we make them seem dirty when they're really something else entirely. And when we keep things that are easy in plain sight, we make them seem clean when they really aren't. That is dangerous.

A miniature portrait of MichalMargo at the beach

Help me maintain the "Statue" page alive...

If you love women and art...

Michal is exporting Polish art...is he cracked?

Michal's Sales Pitch
Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts

  1. T-shirt fundraiser for sale

    Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser for sale.

    Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed. Pointer

    From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  2. Felt handbag for sale

    Handcrafted felt handbag for sale.

    Felt bag by Dorota. Pointer

    Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  3. Decorative collar for sale

    Handcrafted decorative collar for sale.

    Decorative collar by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  4. Seamless handbag for sale

    Handcrafted seamless handbag for sale.

    Handbag by Sylwia. Pointer

    Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  5. Patchwork quilt for sale

    Handcrafted patchwork quilt for sale.

    Patchwork quilt by Alicja. Pointer

    Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  6. Nuno-felt shawl for sale

    Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl for sale.

    Shawl by Sylwia. Pointer

    Scarf made ​​with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  7. Clara the doll for sale

    Handcrafted clara the doll for sale.

    Clara by Alicja. Pointer

    Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  8. Noah the doll for sale

    Handcrafted noah the doll for sale.

    Noah by Alicja. Pointer

    Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  9. Black suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted black suspenders for sale.

    Black suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  10. Orange suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted orange suspenders for sale.

    Orange suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  11. Green suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted green suspenders for sale.

    Green suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  12. Felt earrings for sale

    Handcrafted felt earrings for sale.

    Felt earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  13. Round ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted round ceramic earrings for sale.

    Round ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  14. Oblong ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings for sale.

    Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  15. 'Coral' necklace for sale

    Handcrafted 'coral' necklace for sale.

    Corals by Sylwia. Pointer

    Necklace made ​​of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser
Handcrafted felt handbag
Handcrafted decorative collar
Handcrafted seamless handbag
Handcrafted patchwork quilt
Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl
Handcrafted clara the doll
Handcrafted noah the doll
Handcrafted black suspenders
Handcrafted orange suspenders
Handcrafted green suspenders
Handcrafted felt earrings
Handcrafted round ceramic earrings
Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings
Handcrafted 'coral' necklace