Michal's HeadlinesYards

Michal presents 4Occupy, an online art gallery and culture blog

Bridging the 7 Pillars of Culture for All Mankind...click & drag the logo to share this page

The answer to your needs...

If you like to travel...

A miniature portrait of MichalMichal Recommends:

Sauna Cezar

Bielsko-Biala, Poland

Photographs by Michal Slaby
A map showing Bielsko-Biala's position within Silesia
Bielsko-Biała lies in the corner of Silesia
Margo behind a tree

Yards, a cultural introduction

Getting to know the word from all angles...

Michal's meditating on the concept of beefing up his staggering Fiction Corpus with a fable about writing the perfect online story; cites fatigueDictionary icon

I can't challenge the idea of exercising English as the international community's second language. I do doubt the altogether average technique by which the English tongue is taught.Pointer

Fortifying a person's deftness for a language isn't like bringing about a more accurate compass. A language isn't just a tool that you can learn to employ with a greater amount of precision. A shared language cannot be decoupled from the philosophical currents of a tribe of people of which it is a description. A language isn't recited; it happens - and keeps happening as long as a circle of people keeps using it.

To make a student recite English is to strip her of its cultural context. An informed teacher has to find a method of introducing it; the wisest pupil goes out to seek it.

A dictionary has the potential to be an influential tool. The best dictionaries define a language based on a specific corpus, a body of written language of various scope and consistency. They might include anything from a book about literature to any number of non fiction books. I burnt many candles laboring on my "humungous" Fiction Corpus to form a new type of dictionary based on the ability of one man to tell a story in myriad forms. It is a labor of love and listening.

I have prepared a million words and I have codified them, reshaping them - not merely to teach an American language but to promote the human soul, and to provoke that spirit or soul not just to recite but to happen.

Michal's Dictionary Navigation

Artifacts, fuels, and persons: Definitions in Michal's FictionPointer

More: Artifacts

Common artifacts appearing frequently in Michal's Corpus

Michal's Dictionary:
Understanding the word Yards

A word can represent many things. First and foremost it represents a type of gesture. A specific way of speaking. A specific way of inscribing a mark. A specific way of moving your hand. To know one of these kinds of gestures is to know how to pronounce the word yards in some kind of way.

If you want to communicate an idea using the word yards, you will need to know what other people are made to think when you make the gesture. You will never have complete awareness of or control over the associations or identities that are invoked by a set of words, but you can know what was and what is a single word's jointly accepted definition, at least for a given place, thereby tracing a direction which will help you to understand what kinds of associations and identities are driving its use.

By using the word yourself, you enter into a long-standing albeit oftentimes unconscious debate over its definition, forever entangling yourself into the history of its use. The way you use it, and which other words you use it with carries weight.

The more you know about where the word yards is located in the fabric of a language, the better you will be at exploiting its cultural power.

Pronunciation of YardsMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the word yards.

Video of me pronouncing "yards."

Definition of YardsMargo on a trampoline

The term yards refers usually to a measure of distance exceeding one yard or else more than one yard in the sense of an area enclosed in some way.

Common use of yards in illustrative example sentencesMargo on a trampoline

  1. First down. Ten yards to go.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  2. He mowed a lot of yards when he was young. That was his first business.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  3. I have yet to come up with a third sentence using the word yards.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  4. I have yet to come up with a fourth sentence using the word yards.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  5. I have yet to come up with a fifth sentence using the word yards.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  6. I have yet to come up with a sixth sentence using the word yards.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  7. I have yet to come up with a seventh sentence using the word yards.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:

Usage of Yards in Michal's Fiction CorpusMargo on a trampoline

An image of young Michal sitting on a potty in front of a typewriter

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Yards: Table of Contents

Yards, a morphological approach

I have yet to make a morphological analysis of the word yards.

That doesn't mean it's not high on my list.

Table of Frequency for the Word "Yards."

This table lists in descending order the total number of times that the word yardsand any of its morphological derivations appears in the Fiction Corpus, along with a breakdown of frequency by title, the respective rank of each word in the complete list of all words in the Corpus, as calculated both densely and competitively, as well as the percent increase in frequency of the word over the frequency of the next lowest rank in the complete list.

Margo stretching her arms
Percent Increase over next rankRANKWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
densecompetitivemodern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
-----------
I have yet to publish the table of frequency for the word yards, but I will get to it shortly. -Michal

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Yards: Table of Contents

Usage of Yards in Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind

A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #7017

hulu's not sure when he dropped the phone. he thinks it was after the first shots. that means its 50 yards from the gate.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

23 December, 10:12 PM

Frame #2315

theres a dock next door. about 60 yards away. its got bed and breakfast yachts. i can see the sign from here. theyve got room service.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

20 August, 6:52 PM

Frame #4770

jayce wants to come with me tomorrow. to provide cover. only there wont be much cover for her. its 400 yards to the nearest tree.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

13 October, 4:01 PM

Frame #1606

i waited for a good spot. twenty yards from the door. theres already a line to get in. 3 jackson cover. what a rip.

Justin Bieber

13 August, 8:06 PM

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Yards: Table of Contents

Usage of Yards in The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars

An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

"They're trying to stop the terrorists from moving north; they don't care about the southeast that much - terrorists are all over the train yards - Lipski doesn't even know what to do about it. He's got terrorists in the southeast (around the train yards); he's got terrorists in the west (around all the industrial parks) - but at least they're south of the river; he's in the north, coming down; he's got his artillery on the north bank of the old river, on the other side of which, sections of Center City have been evacuated; others have not; some are full of terrorists; others are not. What's for damn sure is that south of us, across the main river, the Old Town is completely infested. Government buildings have been taken over, et cetera, et cetera. Lipski's got his hands full; he's got absolutely no idea what the fuck a terrorist even looks like. A collaborator could be anyone: if you're walking down the street with a gun, you're collaborating - you're not trying to defend yourself: you're collaborating. If you're looting a store, or robbing your neighbors, or otherwise committing some kind of offense: you're collaborating.

Verse 120 from the chapter called Arms

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Yards: Table of Contents

Usage of Yards in Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed

A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

"Yards" does not make an appearance in Sex For Children.

- Michal Slaby

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Yards: Table of Contents

Usage of Yards in Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla

A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

The best place for that was the tallest building in Japan, the Yokohama Landmark Tower. Rising more than three hundred yards above the ground, it dwarfed everything around it. More importantly, two-thirds of the way up, on the forty-ninth floor, a glass eave in the middle of each wall provided a perfect spot to leave a victim.

– from “A Cop Named Patsy,” a funny story featuring a cop whose boss has had enough

Shephard shot towards the bike. The man had stopped twenty yards away. He had killed the engine. He was taking off his helmet. Shephard reached him in two seconds. He yanked him off. "Sorry," he said. He climbed on. He kicked the starter. The engine fired.

Shephard sped down the road. He heard shouting behind him. He saw the humvee in his rear-view mirror. It was taking off in pursuit.

– from “Two Dudes and a Chinese Desert,” a friendship story featuring a man in uniform

The man was getting close. Tatum tried again to push her arm through the sleeve. It was stuck again. She pushed harder. It refused to budge. Tatum clenched her teeth. She pushed as hard as she could. She thought her arm was going to break. Tears welled in her eyes. "I can't," she thought. She looked down. The man was less than ten yards away. She had to do it.

– from “Dirty Manga People Are Disgusting,” a spooky story set in a future where people are still marginalized

"Go ahead," said the secretary. The man disappeared through the door. The woman turned to look through the window. Oda Plaza kept rotating below her-behind her. "Whatever," she thought. The people, fifty yards away, seemed to be walking on a giant wall. Few offices had the luxury of terrestrial gravity. Apparently, thought the woman, Justice Doc Uzumaki deserved one of the best.

On the other side of the door, Pat said, "You wanted to see me."

– from “Dirty Manga People Are Disgusting,” a spooky story featuring intrigue

"We're too far."

"Hold the wheel." Tatum leaned over. She tried to keep the car steady.

Neal took aim. The man was now less than a hundred yards away. Neal whispered, "This is for you, Shaq." He launched the rock. It flew.

– from “Dirty Manga People Are Disgusting,” a spooky story featuring a marginalized culture

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Yards: Table of Contents

Usage of Yards in Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall

A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

"Yards" does not make an appearance in Sorry Miss Jackson.

- Michal Slaby

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Yards: Table of Contents

Usage of Yards in Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats

A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

Two years and still counting. No word from the devil. The bitch made promises. A fat check. Enough to pay for surgery. Where is she now? Two yards under. Seventy-two inches. I did the math. The scientist in the east wing told me that much soil would weigh about a ton. That's two thousand pounds. Way more than I can lift. I'm a big girl. The bitch that took my cigarettes was a tiny little thing. Even if she did come back from hell she'd never get out from under that earth. Unless they dig a hole next to her. I wish I knew where she was buried. I could do something about it.

– from “Two Years,” an adult fiction story about a guard who works at a women's prison

We turned into a parking lot next to a wooded area. Which goes without saying. Everything in Woodstock is in a wooded area. There was one other car in the lot. Some run-down sedan. We parked next to it. We took out our stuff. Walked into the woods. Pitched camp not fifty yards from the car.

– from “Woodstock,” a life story based on something that happened, namely to the author

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Usage of Yards: Table of Contents

Collocation of Yards in the Fiction Corpus

Table of Collocation for the Word "Yards."

This table lists in descending order of frequency a selection of word pairs that appear in the Fiction Corpus and groups them according to the morphological derivation of the word yards that appears in the pair.

TypeWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
modern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
--------
I have yet to perform a collocation analysis of "yards." I hope I can get it done sometime soon. -Michal

Love is the answer...

What are we waiting for? Let's accept it!

Are you a eunuch?

The art show that defies abuse

Natural + Life

Large Wall Art Depicting the Human Landscape

Life is a spinning sphere with Joy at one pole and Sadness at the other. Each continuously feeding its pair. Joy flanked by the emotions of Trust on one side, Surprise on the other. Trust leading to Anticipation; anticipation leading to Fear. Surprise leading to Disgust; disgust leading to Anger. Anger and Fear fueling our Sadness. Sadness giving way, in time, to Joy; through Hope, an orientation towards Love. Love, an openness towards Joy, Trust and Surprise; the sum of emotion; emotion amplified by others. Multiplied and divided, in equal parts. Such that to those from whom it has been subtracted, we must add. Until we are whole.

A miniature portrait of MichalMargo at the beach

Help me maintain the "Yards" page alive...

If you love women and art...

Michal is exporting art...is he loco?

Michal's Sales Pitch
Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts

  1. T-shirt fundraiser for sale

    Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser for sale.

    Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed. Pointer

    From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  2. Felt handbag for sale

    Handcrafted felt handbag for sale.

    Felt bag by Dorota. Pointer

    Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  3. Decorative collar for sale

    Handcrafted decorative collar for sale.

    Decorative collar by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  4. Seamless handbag for sale

    Handcrafted seamless handbag for sale.

    Handbag by Sylwia. Pointer

    Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  5. Patchwork quilt for sale

    Handcrafted patchwork quilt for sale.

    Patchwork quilt by Alicja. Pointer

    Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  6. Nuno-felt shawl for sale

    Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl for sale.

    Shawl by Sylwia. Pointer

    Scarf made ​​with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  7. Clara the doll for sale

    Handcrafted clara the doll for sale.

    Clara by Alicja. Pointer

    Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  8. Noah the doll for sale

    Handcrafted noah the doll for sale.

    Noah by Alicja. Pointer

    Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  9. Black suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted black suspenders for sale.

    Black suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  10. Orange suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted orange suspenders for sale.

    Orange suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  11. Green suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted green suspenders for sale.

    Green suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  12. Felt earrings for sale

    Handcrafted felt earrings for sale.

    Felt earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  13. Round ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted round ceramic earrings for sale.

    Round ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  14. Oblong ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings for sale.

    Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  15. 'Coral' necklace for sale

    Handcrafted 'coral' necklace for sale.

    Corals by Sylwia. Pointer

    Necklace made ​​of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser
Handcrafted felt handbag
Handcrafted decorative collar
Handcrafted seamless handbag
Handcrafted patchwork quilt
Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl
Handcrafted clara the doll
Handcrafted noah the doll
Handcrafted black suspenders
Handcrafted orange suspenders
Handcrafted green suspenders
Handcrafted felt earrings
Handcrafted round ceramic earrings
Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings
Handcrafted 'coral' necklace