Michal is wrestling with the feasibility of reinforcing his staggering Fiction Corpus with a bunch of romance fiction books; cites fatigue
Posted:
I accept the practicality of promulgating English as humanity's second language. I do reject the formalistic form in which the English language is presented for study.
Improving one's skill with a language isn't like introducing a more comfortable bed. A language - a living language - isn't merely a tool that you can teach yourself to use with a greater amount of precision. A common tongue can't be segregated from the shared logic of a group of people of which it is a description. A language isn't recited; it happens - and keeps happening as long as a circle of people keeps using it.
Teaching a student to recite English is to strip her of its cultural context. A proper educator must find a way to introduce it; the smartest student ventures out to seek it.
A dictionary has the potential to be an influential tool. A decent dictionary will describe a language on the basis of a particular corpus, a body of writing of varying size and consistency. They may contain anything from a book about literature to a bunch of story books. I lost many a sleepless night forging my "ordinary" Fiction Corpus to form a precise type of dictionary based on the ability of one man to tell a story in many different forms. It is a labor of love and listening.
I have shaped a million words and I have catalogued them, reformulating them - not just to teach the English tongue but to reveal the human spirit, and to pressure that soul or spirit not just to recite but to happen.
Author's Note: I have been enjoined from sharing the details of my true romance adventure until such time that the other party is prepared to present her perspective on the affair arrangement...
In June of 2011 I arrived in Europe for what I hoped would be a great adventure; my only concrete plan, to visit Croatia. By September I had driven 6,000 miles and visited 12 different countries, all with a woman I met on the first Friday of my trip.
I knew naturism was popular in many parts of Europe and as an artist who had worked on body acceptance for his entire career I was keen on documenting some small part of it. Lo and behold, I found a very important part of it hiding in Poland. Her name was Margo.
Though I was born in Europe, I had been brought up from a young age in America, living in states as diverse as Nebraska, Ohio and Connecticut. I was taught American values and saw reality from an American perspective. She was born and raised in a village in Poland. She went to work in the nearest town. The nearest city seemed like the center of the world. The American perspective was not something she was ever planning to see.
Do unto others as you would have done unto you. But how to judge what we would want done to us if we've never been in somebody else's shoes? If we've never been abandoned by our mother, how do we treat somebody who has? Somebody who seems to constantly suffer the repurcussions of it? Margo and I had 46 days and 6,000 miles to try on each other's shoes. We had one car and one tent in which to hear each other's words. We learned to cooperate. We started learning how to listen.
6,000 miles across Europe with a complete stranger
During our trip across Europe, Margo very bravely opened up to me and to the camera. It was a difficult thing to do considering the scars that she carries. I wanted to share with the world her often joyful, often sad, often angry but always liberating experience except that the Internet is full of pictures of naked women and men and full of trolls who abuse them.
I realized that what I really need to point out is not the openness that Margo and I cultivated between ourselves, but the darkness that continues to surround us. When I censor nudity, I do so in a way that does not compromise the integrity of the human body. In censoring the photographs that Margo and I took during our trip, I was quick to notice that in those pictures where Margo was at her most open, at her most unguarded and most relaxed, in a word, when she was herself and basking in the sun I was forced to blacken her completely.
Why does our society drive people into darkness? Why can we not accept ourselves as we are? Why can we not accept our bodies? Have we truly become eunuchs? Or are we capable of defying the sickness that pits us against each other? Together we could conquer the devils that abuse us.
Whether you enjoy being nude or not, whether you've been photographed nude or not, but especially if, for you, like for Margo, it's something you never thought you would do, consider submitting your own photograph to be published in a censored manner as a form of protest against the ubiquitous presence of the human body on the internet, naked or not, that is published and duplicated ad infinitum without context and without regard for the identity or the needs of the individual being depicted.
Michal's Dictionary: Understanding the word Cops
A word can represent many things. First and foremost it represents a type of gesture. A specific way of speaking. A specific way of inscribing a mark. A specific way of moving your hand. To know one of these kinds of gestures is to know how to pronounce the word cops in some kind of way.
If you want to communicate an idea using the word cops, you will need to know what other people are made to think when you make the gesture. You will never have complete awareness of or control over the associations or identities that are invoked by a set of words, but you can know what was and what is a single word's jointly accepted definition, at least for a given place, thereby tracing a direction which will help you to understand what kinds of associations and identities are driving its use.
By using the word yourself, you enter into a long-standing albeit oftentimes unconscious debate over its definition, forever entangling yourself into the history of its use. The way you use it, and which other words you use it with carries weight.
The more you know about where the word cops is located in the fabric of a language, the better you will be at exploiting its cultural power.
Pronunciation of Cops
I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the word cops.
Video of me pronouncing "cops."
Definition of Cops
Cops are usually hired guns who didn't realize when they signed on for the job just how hard and unforgiving police work is and consequently often share their bitterness by disrespecting their helpless clients.
Common use of cops in illustrative example sentences
I have yet to come up with a sixth sentence using the word cops.
Audio of me saying the sentence:
I have yet to come up with a seventh sentence using the word cops.
Audio of me saying the sentence:
Usage of Cops in Michal's Fiction Corpus
Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.
I have yet to make a morphological analysis of the word cops.
That doesn't mean it's not high on my list.
Table of Frequency for the Word "Cops."
This table lists in descending order the total number of times that the word copsand any of its morphological derivations appears in the Fiction Corpus, along with a breakdown of frequency by title, the respective rank of each word in the complete list of all words in the Corpus, as calculated both densely and competitively, as well as the percent increase in frequency of the word over the frequency of the next lowest rank in the complete list.
Percent Increase over next rank
RANK
WORD
Frequency
TOTAL # of occurences
MCDONALDS
JESUS
SEX
TSIGA
JACKSON
DINGBATS
dense
competitive
modern/sloppy
biblical/terse
poetic/high-brow
hard/fast
talky
mixed salad
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
I have yet to publish the table of frequency for the word cops, but I will get to it shortly. -Michal
A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.
Frame #4487
expedia's husband called. he says the cops stopped by. wanting to talk to expedia. he had to tell them where she works.
An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.
By that point, there was very little information to be had. Nevertheless, as the second man at the crime scene, after the landlord, your father was seriously tempted to steal evidence. He decided against it. Stalin had complete access to the CBS crime lab, the CBS being Poland's central investigative bureau, and Jesus didn't have any friends there on the inside nor did he want to have to bribe anyone. Lab results were available to anyone in law enforcement anyway, so Jesus took some photographs and left before the cops came. Later on, Stalin went to the CBS lab and got the results. The forensic evidence indicated without a doubt that the bullets came from a Russian-made weapon, which didn't necessary mean that the perpetrator or perpetrators were Russian, but, then again, who else would be using a Russian-made weapon?
A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.
NIKE: You're not gonna be in a fucking raid. Are you a dummy? The cops only raid parked cars. Now go park over there and don't steal my car.
He was taken to a room. The room was very hot. There were bright lights in Nike's face. According to the sergeant, he was number four. Nike wondered what number two had done: he looked a little upset. But the rest of them were all deadpan. "Please look forward, number four." Number four looked forward. He was crossing his brow in scorn.
"Do I look like a criminal?" he thought. "I don't care...numbers one, three and five must be cops."
A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.
The window was too thick. He banged it with his fist. It hurt. He banged again. It was useless. He tried banging with both hands. The cable gave way. Patsy began screeching slowly towards the edge. It hurt a lot. Lifting his leg to assuage the burning, he dropped even faster. By the time he lifted his arm, his feet were dangling over. He made his peace with God.
His fingers found the loop. His hands curled around it. He could afford to maneuver. Crawling like an inch worm with his buttcheeks, Patsy made it all the way to the barbershop window. He realized it was Monday. "Of course," he thought. "The barbershop is closed on Monday. How disappointing."
"This is embarrassing," thought Patsy. Knowing better than to look up, he guessed where he was: outside and somewhere above the forty-ninth floor. His hands were like chunks of dead meat. There was nothing he could do.
When he was placed on administrative leave, he said it again. When he was transferred away from New York, he said it once more. He told his mother it was a promotion. In reality, they were keeping Patsy as far away from the field as possible. The Park Service wanted nothing to do with him.
A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.
GREY GOOSE: Look, woman: I'm giving you one last chance. Did you rat me out to the cops or not?
MS. JACKSON: I won't say.
GREY GOOSE: I deserve to be answered.
MS. JACKSON: A man deserves only three things: honesty, gratitude, and remorse. He does not deserve to be answered.
GREY GOOSE: This is the thanks I get after all these years of marriage?
MS. JACKSON: It was your pleasure to be my husband.
GREY GOOSE: The worst of penalties was once reserved for such obstinacy.
MS. JACKSON: Not for treason?
GREY GOOSE: There are worse things than being hanged.
MS. JACKSON: Such as?
– ACT I, lines 311-320
ALICE: It was no big deal. It was some stupid kid with a knife.
FLETCHER: Was it sharp?
LUKE: She didn't have a chance to taste it.
FLETCHER: What did it look like?
ALICE: It was just a regular jackknife. It wasn't very big.
FLETCHER: What did he get away with?
ALICE: My purse.
LUKE: With everything in it.
ALICE: It was so stupid. The cops could've picked him up around the corner if they had just bothered to look. They were such pigs.
FLETCHER: Don't tell that to old Grey Goose! Australian cops guilty of misprision? He would go on a rampage.
A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.
Bob smiled. He pointed to the neck. "Carotid," he said. "The guy bled out. You can't see it cause of the twist in the neck. It's a thing of beauty, isn't it?" The man was smiling like a whore on Tuesday. Proctor couldn't share the enthusiasm. He watched the body being lowered.
A gunshot echoed through the house. Proctor realized he was still alive. He looked up. As Bob fell to the floor he revealed Elizabeth's quivering body behind him. She was holding the gun Proctor had given her. She dropped it. Proctor ran to her. They embraced. Proctor started smothering her in kisses.
"You said you wanted to talk," said Elizabeth. Proctor stopped kissing her. He looked into her eyes. "I thought it was time we did."
Proctor called the cops. Even the captain showed up. They did a thorough search. They found nothing. The captain suggested leaving a patrol car. Proctor didn't like the idea. He didn't know who he could trust. Bob suggested he take Proctor's convertible for the night. "That way they won't think you're home," he said. "I'll pick you up in the morning. We'll have breakfast."
Proctor agreed. He threw Bob the keys. "It's out back," he said. Two minutes later an explosion rocked the neighborhood. The convertible was on fire.
The ambulance arrived. The professor was pronounced. The cops showed up. Statements were taken. The body was hauled off. Expressions of regret and complete disbelief were shared. Mark was dismissed. He went back to his rounds. Even after everything that happened he was still able to finish his deliveries an hour before his evaluated time was up. He went home happy. He could sit on his couch and pretend he was being paid to drink margaritas for fifty minutes. He bragged later to friends and family that not even seeing a man die could slow him down. So they call him Magnificent.
This table lists in descending order of frequency a selection of word pairs that appear in the Fiction Corpus and groups them according to the morphological derivation of the word cops that appears in the pair.
Type
WORD
Frequency
TOTAL # of occurences
MCDONALDS
JESUS
SEX
TSIGA
JACKSON
DINGBATS
modern/sloppy
biblical/terse
poetic/high-brow
hard/fast
talky
mixed salad
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
I have yet to perform a collocation analysis of "cops." I hope I can get it done sometime soon. -Michal
It's natural to hide dirty things. They're embarrassing. But we need to keep in mind that when we hide things that are difficult, we make them seem dirty when they're really something else entirely. And when we keep things that are easy in plain sight, we make them seem clean when they really aren't. That is dangerous.
Help keep the "Cops" page up and running...
If you love women and art...
Michal's exporting Polish art...is he loony?
Michal's Sales Pitch Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts
T-shirt fundraiser for sale
Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed.
From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Felt handbag for sale
Felt bag by Dorota.
Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Decorative collar for sale
Decorative collar by Zuzanna.
Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Seamless handbag for sale
Handbag by Sylwia.
Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Patchwork quilt for sale
Patchwork quilt by Alicja.
Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Nuno-felt shawl for sale
Shawl by Sylwia.
Scarf made with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Clara the doll for sale
Clara by Alicja.
Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Noah the doll for sale
Noah by Alicja.
Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Black suspenders for sale
Black suspenders by Zuzanna.
Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Orange suspenders for sale
Orange suspenders by Zuzanna.
Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Green suspenders for sale
Green suspenders by Zuzanna.
Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Felt earrings for sale
Felt earrings by Dorota.
Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Round ceramic earrings for sale
Round ceramic earrings by Dorota.
Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Oblong ceramic earrings for sale
Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota.
Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
'Coral' necklace for sale
Corals by Sylwia.
Necklace made of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.