Michal declines to consider the soundness of complementing his epic Fiction Corpus with some truly brilliant halloween stories; cites fatigue

Posted:⛹ 22༜♍²⁶/₂₄♀

I don't doubt the soundness of exploiting English as everybody's second language. I don't regard highly the sterile style in which the English language is presented for study.

Perfecting a person's familiarity with a language isn't like creating a faster boat. A language - a spoken tongue - isn't merely an instrument that you can learn to use with greater amounts of precision. A living tongue can not be torn from the philosophical currents of a society of which it is a description. A language isn't recited; it happens - and keeps happening as long as a circle of people keeps using it.

Teaching a pupil to recite English is to cheat her out of its cultural context. A worthy educator must find a way to introduce it; the discerning student ventures out to seek it.

A dictionary can be an influential tool. A decent dictionary will describe a language based on a particular corpus, a body of written works of varying scope and consistency. A corpus might include everything from a book about literature to some good fiction. I watched many moons pass laboring on my "immense" Fiction Corpus to form a new genre of dictionary based on the ability of one man to tell a story in many different forms. It is a labor of love and listening.

I have molded a million words and I have tabulated them, reshaping them - not simply to teach a tongue but to reveal the human spirit, and to goad that soul or spirit not just to recite but to happen.

Michal's Dictionary Navigation — acts
fuels
artifacts
places
times
persons
people
fetishes
kinds
Artifacts, fuels, and persons: Definitions in Michal's Fiction
More: Places
Common places appearing frequently in Michal's Corpus
beach76
downtown68
hills65
parking58
bathroom53
planet51
theatre51
jail46
motel44
ridge43
tunnel42
mountains38
county33
academy32
freeway32
main road27
marina26
pier24
bridgehead22
miles away22
ravine22
opera21
pit21
chamber18
next door18
main entrance17
trailer park17
corridor16
gallery16
route16
train yard16
strip club14
motel room12
drawing room11
outer space11
center field10
control tower10
exclusion zone10
this planet2
town square1

Previous title — acts
fuels
artifacts
places
times
persons
people
fetishes
kinds
Artifacts, fuels, and persons: Definitions in Michal's Fiction
More: Places
Common places appearing frequently in Michal's Corpus
beach76
downtown68
hills65
parking58
bathroom53
planet51
theatre51
jail46
motel44
ridge43
tunnel42
mountains38
county33
academy32
freeway32
main road27
marina26
pier24
bridgehead22
miles away22
ravine22
opera21
pit21
chamber18
next door18
main entrance17
trailer park17
corridor16
gallery16
route16
train yard16
strip club14
motel room12
drawing room11
outer space11
center field10
control tower10
exclusion zone10
this planet2
town square1

Definition of This Planet

The term this planet refers to the place where most humans are born and live out their entire lives as opposed to some people who seem to come from someplace else. See crazy and different.

Common use of this planet in illustrative example sentences

He is not from this planet.
Audio of me saying the sentence:
They found this planet orbiting the star closest to our solar system. They say it could have water.
Audio of me saying the sentence:
I have yet to come up with a third sentence using the words "this planet."
Audio of me saying the sentence:
I have yet to come up with a fourth sentence using the words "this planet."
Audio of me saying the sentence:
I have yet to come up with a fifth sentence using the words "this planet."
Audio of me saying the sentence:
I have yet to come up with a sixth sentence using the words "this planet."
Audio of me saying the sentence:
I have yet to come up with a seventh sentence using the words "this planet."
Audio of me saying the sentence:

Usage of This Planet in Michal's Fiction Corpus

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

If you're wondering...

How do I use this?

Just click on a title to see examples of the words "this planet" being used in a particular work. You'll stay on the same spot on the page, only the Table of Contents will disappear. To get back to the Table of Contents just click next to the image of the Bare Bottom imprint where it says "Back to Usage of This Planet: Table of Contents."“And...?”

The Table of Frequency and the Table of Collocation provide numerical information about how many times the words this planet appear in their original or modified form and with which words. It can help to give you an idea of how a word is used and in what contexts.“Ok.”

Why a Fiction Corpus?

The popular understanding of the word "fiction" and its complement "non-fiction" is a reflection of the cultural influence of a classification system. The Dewey Decimal System is responsible for separating "fiction" from all other work and categorizing it by author's name. This has influenced the popular idea of fiction as a narrative that tends to be "untrue" and the product of an individual's fantasy, a bias compounded by modern art's century-long obsession with abstraction, surrealism and self-expression.“So...?”

My idea of fiction rests on the idea that art doesn't have to be factual to be a true reflection of our existence. Adam and Eve didn't have to exist as two individuals 700 generations ago for them to be true portraits of two human beings trying to work together.“And...?”

The Bible is a Fiction Corpus. It is a body of writing that isn't overly concerned with facts and yet its words carry weight. It was written by many different authors living in different places with different audiences in mind, yet everyone gleans something from it.“Right...”

In preparing my fiction corpus, I have striven to see the world through the eyes of others. Through the eyes of my Adams and Eves I hope that you too will glean some truth about our existence. At the very least you will learn some more about how one man can use the English language.“Ok.”

Who are you, Michal?

I'm just a guy who makes art. And if you're interested in making a solid investment in an aesthetic that supports our present and future welfare, then I will help you look for something that you can buy.“How...?”

Everybody makes. Everybody sells. Some people know how to protect their interests. Some better than others. Few people know how to listen. Listening to somebody means considering their interests as if they were your own. Going out and doing something to satisfy another person's interest is how we build a strong economy. Without a strong economy, democracy collapses.“And...?”

Buying 4Occupy is buying for democracy. Don't give your money to somebody who's ruining it. There's no such thing as cheap democracy, quick democracy, or easy democracy. There's good, solid, complete democracy and the tyranny of feudalism. Let's not mix the two. Let's not buy everything on the cheap. Let's not create another tyrant and enslave ourselves because it was easier not to think about what we were doing. Let's protect our interests. Let's listen.“Ok.”

Who's really behind this site?

Have you ever been to one of those post-it-yourself retail websites where there's a really attractive top-seller ready to give you tips on how you can be a top-seller too?“Uh...”

Have you ever been to a "job" interview where you sit in a line, walk through one door, get hired as a contractor and walk out another door, so that the other applicants don't realize that everyone's getting "hired" to work in the same market?“Maybe...”

The internet is full of people who are ready to exploit your ignorance. They are people who want to make money at the expense of our economy. They are cheats.“And...?”

I, Michal, am behind this site. Not some fat plutocrat exploiting my image. I like to do things the right way. I like to work with people who take the time to do things right.“Why...?”

I used to work for a company that didn't do things the right way. My labor was exploited because of mismanagement. That company was the United States Postal Service, an independent agency of the United States Government that is ultimately controlled by Congress. I'm mad because if the Federal Government can exploit labor, who is going to stop every other cheat from doing it?“Labor Unions...?”

Don't say labor unions. I went to my labor union and they did nothing. They ignored me because labor unions aren't democracies. Holding a free and fair election for a "representative" once in a blue moon does not equal people ruling. Democracy means open government. It means we the public need to accept the hard work. It's the only way to secure liberty and equality.“Ok.”

What's the difference between use and usage?

Definition-wise, not much. But the -age suffix is ultimately French in origin and with most things French, at least in American eyes, the immediate thought is that of something precious and arcane whose value should be judged very carefully. This is in contrast to the word France, which is associated with a beautiful place. Thus people in France or from France are beautiful, warm, kind people. Generous even. Unlike French people who suck. Unless you're frenching, in which case you're only sometimes sucking.“And...?”

Along those lines, usage means you're in bed. Use means you're just heavy petting. Also notice that common people, like common words, get used...whereas "proper" things make "appearances." Whether or not you are being exploited is a different story. Exploitation is what happens when somebody uses you or your property without listening to you. Listening is what happens when you consider another person's needs as if they were your own. You don't have to satisfy those needs. All you need to do is consider them. So many of us can't even do that.“So...?”

Help stop exploitation. Buy 4occupy. Buy a better world. Whether or not you feel you can afford to buy art, consider joining my protest. I want to guarantee every working man and every working mother on this planet a 15-day universal holiday. But I can't. Only we can do that. We have to work together. We have to accept the idea that everyone deserves time for himself and we need to build that time into a new kind of calendar. We have to give peace it's own day. We have to make love something you can't avoid. We have to make even the most miserly cold-hearted capitalist among us say that he cashed his check on Love Your Neighbor Day. There won't be any other way to say it once the Acceptance Calendar is widely adopted.“Ok.”

Back to Usage of This Planet: Table of Contents

This Planet, a morphological approach

I have yet to make a morphological analysis of the words "this planet."

That doesn't mean it's not high on my list.

Table of Frequency for the Words "This Planet."
This table lists in descending order the total number of times that the words "this planet" and any of their morphological derivations appear in the Fiction Corpus, along with a breakdown of frequency by title, the respective rank of each word or set of words in the complete list of all words in the Corpus, as calculated both densely and competitively, as well as the percent increase in frequency of the words over the frequency of the next lowest rank in the complete list.
Percent Increase over next rank	RANK		WORD	Frequency
	RANK			TOTAL # of occurences	MCDONALDS	JESUS	SEX	TSIGA	JACKSON	DINGBATS
	dense	competitive		TOTAL # of occurences	modern/sloppy	biblical/terse	poetic/high-brow	hard/fast	talky	mixed salad
-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-
I have yet to publish the table of frequency for the words "this planet," but I will get to it shortly. -Michal

Back to Usage of This Planet: Table of Contents

Usage of This Planet in Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind — A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Author's Note

"This Planet" does not make an appearance in Death to Mcdonalds.

Michal Slaby

Back to Usage of This Planet: Table of Contents

Usage of This Planet in The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars — An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

"We had no reason to believe that their revolution would threaten this planet."

– Verse 288 from the chapter called Bohemia

"What the fuck is this?" continued the Krupnik. "You know what this is? This is the fuckin' line to the goddamn checkpoint. We're gonna be here for fuckin' two hours or more. When we cross this bridge, you can wave hello to the goddamn howitzers. What the fuck is going on? This planet: it's madness. This is worse than usual - and usually, it's pretty fuckin' bad. That Lipski's gonna have to pay for this - goddamn it: it's not his fault. It's the goddamn situation. It's fuckin' terrorists, outer-space pirates, American interests - goddamn it. It's a good thing this city has a moat - if not for that, fuckin' Lipski wouldn't know where to put his troops. I can read him like a goddamn book. Once we shoot around on this bypass, we can ram ourselves up his goddamn ass. Why do you think I left the hood red? That's a sign for the terrorists. This way, they won't shoot us. Goddamn it! Welcome to the fuckin' party, boy. I hope you like it."

– Verse 123 from the chapter called Arms

Jesus went to the newly installed Ministers of Justice and said, "What the fuck is going on? I can't get off this planet."

– Verse 221 from the chapter called Vows

"See, cousin," said Jesus, "what kind of people have come to rule this land. When you threatened SECURITA with exposure, not a single honest man came forward, despite the fact that knowledge of our existence had to reach the highest circles before our uniforms were granted. It was treason they had to hide - if not their own, then somebody else's. We're a state secret, cousin. You think we'll survive long on this planet? They want our heads. We're a liability - just like Leonard Cohen-Krupnik, the richest man in Poland - but not for long. Soon, his wealth will fall to his eldest son, Sacha. We cannot even contemplate the possible motives, but, for some reason, Hitler Panzer-Tank the Third has purchased the sudden death of his would-be son-in-law's father.

– Verse 1114 from the chapter called Security

"That's who's in charge of deciding what this planet does."

– Verse 291 from the chapter called Bohemia

Back to Usage of This Planet: Table of Contents

Usage of This Planet in Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed — A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

OLYMP: Andrea? Can I ask you a question?

ANDY: Yes, of course you can.

OLYMP: What's heaven like?

ANDY: What's heaven like? Well, I don't know: I've never been there.

OLYMP: I know, but: you have an idea, don't you?

ANDY: Well, of course, I have an idea.

OLYMP: Then what do you think?

ANDY: Well, I think it's a lot like this place.

OLYMP: What do you mean?

ANDY: I mean this place: this planet.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 6, The Sixth Day, Part 1, Children & Education Reform, Section 2, Discussing Heaven with a Child, Paragraphs 1-10

Back to Usage of This Planet: Table of Contents

Usage of This Planet in Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla — A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

Gog stopped. He was being watched. He could see a bronze helmet peeking from among rocks in the distance. He thought, "A scout from the Paralatai. If he recognizes my metal, he will guess there is something wrong. His leaders will attack me while I am weak."

– from “In the Beginning, There was Gog,” a fantasy story featuring a frank discussion of what the hell we're doing on this planet

Gog climbed down a rocky promontory. The ridge was only a few feet below. He leapt onto it. The ground was rough. It was dry. Gog realized a lack of water probably prevented growth. It didn't explain the lack of rocks. Before long Gog thought he had that puzzle figured out.

– from “In the Beginning, There was Gog,” a fantasy story featuring a frank discussion of what the hell we're doing on this planet

Bei was vexed. She looked everywhere for her precious Jing. She asked Kwon if he had seen her. He turned away. He seemed to be fighting back tears. He murmured, "I think I know what happened. Jing was kidnapped by creatures native to this planet. They took Bo; doubtless Tae as well. One of them visited me. He talked to me through his hands."

Bei shook her head. "Why haven't you told us?"

– from “How Tae & Bo Took Over the World and Kung & Fu Didn't,” an apocryphal bible story set in an unknown solar system

The handmaidens filed out of the tent in silence. Fear was written on their faces. The guards asked the last one about Magog. She said the queen consort wanted time alone with the goddess. She was not to be disturbed. Nobody saw the heifer escaping through the back. In the darkness, it was hard to see. Its hide had been scorched black.

– from “In the Beginning, There was Gog,” a fantasy story featuring a frank discussion of what the hell we're doing on this planet

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Usage of This Planet in Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall — A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

"This Planet" does not make an appearance in Sorry Miss Jackson.

- Michal Slaby

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Usage of This Planet in Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats — A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

My friends kept telling me I was crazy. They said no matter how bad it is in the city at least I have friends. In the village I would have nobody. It was true. I didn't argue. I didn't want them to know what was on my mind. I was thinking what good are friends if they can't protect you. I knew it wasn't their fault.

– from “A Black Man in Moscow,” an inspirational story that describes life on this planet, though hopefully we can change

My success is built not just on courage and understanding but the worst and most disgusting kind of fear and anger. I cannot separate the two. I keep reaching the same conclusion. That there must be some kind of good in evil. A conclusion which I immediately reject. And come back to. Again and again.

– from “A Black Man in Moscow,” an inspirational story that describes life on this planet despite whatever cornor we're hiding in

As Mark made his way down to his final stop he noticed the professor standing behind the tripod leaning into the viewfinder. He was so preoccupied with the sight of the bent-over old man he neglected to slow down and crane his head around the hedgerow. Luckily there was nobody there. The cord that connected Bill's hand brake to the actual brake had snapped. He had been dragging it for about the entire route until a customer on Download Street finally stopped him and asked, "What's that noise?" Bill decided it was time to take a break and check it out. He didn't want customers thinking postmen didn't care about their trucks. The customer saw the broken cord. He offered to bring some twine so Bill could tie the loose end to the chassis. Bill said he didn't want to be a bother. The customer insisted. Bill was forced to wait ten minutes until the customer came back and said, "Sorry it took so long. Here's the twine." Bill tied the cord to the chassis and went on his way. Never realizing the broken hand brake had probably saved his life.

– from “Wrong Again,” a success story that describes life on this planet, though hopefully we can change

I opened the school the next day. There were birds nesting in the furnace. I thought it was a good sign. I left them there for the sake of the students. I wanted us to remove them together as a way of bonding. No students came. I sat in the room by myself until the afternoon with nothing but chirping to keep me company. I asked the headman if the villagers knew I had come. He said he would take care of it.

– from “A Black Man in Moscow,” an inspirational story that describes the reality of this planet no matter who you are

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Collocation of This Planet in the Fiction Corpus

Table of Collocation for the Words "This Planet."
This table lists in descending order of frequency a selection of text strings that appear in the Fiction Corpus and groups them according to the morphological derivation of the words this planet that appears in the string.
Type	Frequency
	TOTAL # of occurences	MCDONALDS	JESUS	SEX	TSIGA	JACKSON	DINGBATS
	TOTAL # of occurences	modern/sloppy	biblical/terse	poetic/high-brow	hard/fast	talky	mixed salad
-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-
I have yet to perform a collocation analysis of "this planet." I hope I can get it done sometime soon. -Michal