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Independent University in New Jersey

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Margo behind a tree

Ride, a cultural introduction

Getting to know the word from all angles...

Michal refuses to contemplate the prospect of augmenting his considerable Fiction Corpus with some really weird fiction; cites fatigueDictionary icon

I don't doubt the practicality of promulgating English as everyone's second language. I do doubt the spiritless system by which the English tongue is taught.Pointer

Boosting one's finesse for a language isn't like producing a more comfortable horse collar. A language - a spoken language - is not merely an instrument that you can teach yourself to use with a greater amount of precision. A shared language can't be fractured from the shared logic of a community of which it is a description. A language isn't recited; it happens - and keeps happening as long as a circle of people keeps using it.

Teaching a person to recite English is to cheat her out of its cultural context. An informed instructor must develop a strategy for introducing it; the bravest student ventures out to seek it.

A dictionary - properly used - can become an influential tool. The best dictionaries define words based on a particular corpus, a body of writing of various size and consistency. This corpus could include everything from a book about literature to a whole bunch of romance fiction books. I lost many a sleepless night developing my "humungous" Fiction Corpus in order to form a new kind of dictionary based on the ability of one man to tell a story in many different forms. It is a labor of love and listening.

I have crafted a million words and I have codified them, reformulating them - not just to teach English vocabulary but to be an advocate for the human soul, and to propel that soul or spirit not just to recite but to happen.

Michal's Dictionary Navigation

A Learner's Dictionary: Common Words in EnglishPointer

An Act is the Common Word that Answers the Question, "Whose?"

The most frequently used words in Michal's Corpus that represent common acts

Help End Psychological Manipulation With ArtOne of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe.

Strength and dignity are her clothing...

Proverbs 31:25

Author's Note: I have been enjoined from sharing the details of my true romance adventure until such time that the other party is prepared to present her perspective on the affair arrangement...Pointer

Lots of people go on road trips. Not everybody criss-crosses Europe in 46 days. Especially not with a complete stranger.

As an artist inspired by a young woman's struggle with self-esteem and bulimia, body acceptance had always featured prominently in my aesthetic. Having recently discovered naturism and its mantra of body acceptance in the United States, I was eager to explore the style and philosophy of naturist clubs and the beauty of naturist campsites in Europe. By a trick of fate, I found myself first in Bielsko-Biała, Poland. Margo's home.

I considered myself young and able, and being American I often convinced myself I was more than able. She didn't feel quite so young. Having grown up in Poland, what was and is still considered by many to be a poor country, she had the added burden of not only being disadvantaged but having it held against her. The difference became palpable when I realized I couldn't even properly translate into Polish the very American word, "opportunity." A chance? Sure. An occasion? Why not? An opportunity? Not in the book.

Margo and I spent over 40 days on the road. We started out as basically strangers, but in those 40 days we started listening to each other. We started teaching ourselves how to cooperate. Our journey across Europe may have ended, but our journey towards each other continues. No amount of fear, anger, sadness, disgust or anticipation can stop hope. Slowly but surely, we're learning how to beat the devils that abuse us.

One of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe.

6,000 miles across Europe with a complete stranger

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Day 38
8/26/2011
 7༜25/24

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Poble Naturista El Fonoll

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Between Forés and Passanant in Tarragona, Spain

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THE DISAPPEARING WOMAN, THE DISAPPEARING MAN...Pointer

a collection of modern art prints and posters

During our trip across Europe, Margo very bravely opened up to me and to the camera. It was a difficult thing to do considering the scars that she carries. I wanted to share with the world her often joyful, often sad, often angry but always liberating experience except that the Internet is full of pictures of naked women and men and full of trolls who abuse them.

I realized that what I really need to point out is not the openness that Margo and I cultivated between ourselves, but the darkness that continues to surround us. When I censor nudity, I do so in a way that does not compromise the integrity of the human body. In censoring the photographs that Margo and I took during our trip, I was quick to notice that in those pictures where Margo was at her most open, at her most unguarded and most relaxed, in a word, when she was herself and basking in the sun I was forced to blacken her completely.

Why does our society drive people into darkness? Why can we not accept ourselves as we are? Why can we not accept our bodies? Have we truly become eunuchs? Or are we capable of defying the sickness that pits us against each other? Together we could conquer the devils that abuse us.

Whether you enjoy being nude or not, whether you've been photographed nude or not, but especially if, for you, like for Margo, it's something you never thought you would do, consider submitting your own photograph to be published in a censored manner as a form of protest against the ubiquitous presence of the human body on the internet, naked or not, that is published and duplicated ad infinitum without context and without regard for the identity or the needs of the individual being depicted.

Michal's Dictionary:
Understanding the word Ride

A word can represent many things. First and foremost it represents a type of gesture. A specific way of speaking. A specific way of inscribing a mark. A specific way of moving your hand. To know one of these kinds of gestures is to know how to pronounce the word ride in some kind of way.

If you want to communicate an idea using the word ride, you will need to know what other people are made to think when you make the gesture. You will never have complete awareness of or control over the associations or identities that are invoked by a set of words, but you can know what was and what is a single word's jointly accepted definition, at least for a given place, thereby tracing a direction which will help you to understand what kinds of associations and identities are driving its use.

By using the word yourself, you enter into a long-standing albeit oftentimes unconscious debate over its definition, forever entangling yourself into the history of its use. The way you use it, and which other words you use it with carries weight.

The more you know about where the word ride is located in the fabric of a language, the better you will be at exploiting its cultural power.

Pronunciation of RideMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the word ride.

Video of me pronouncing "ride."

Definition of RideMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish the definition of ride.

I'm sure it won't take too long.

Common use of ride in illustrative example sentencesMargo on a trampoline

  1. We can ride the cable car to the top and then climb back down.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  2. I'm sorry I can't do it. I have to give my friend a ride. I promised.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  3. I have yet to come up with a third sentence using the word ride.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  4. I have yet to come up with a fourth sentence using the word ride.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  5. I have yet to come up with a fifth sentence using the word ride.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  6. I have yet to come up with a sixth sentence using the word ride.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  7. I have yet to come up with a seventh sentence using the word ride.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:

Usage of Ride in Michal's Fiction CorpusMargo on a trampoline

An image of young Michal sitting on a potty in front of a typewriter

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

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Ride, a morphological approach

I have yet to make a morphological analysis of the word ride.

That doesn't mean it's not high on my list.

Table of Frequency for the Word "Ride."

This table lists in descending order the total number of times that the word rideand any of its morphological derivations appears in the Fiction Corpus, along with a breakdown of frequency by title, the respective rank of each word in the complete list of all words in the Corpus, as calculated both densely and competitively, as well as the percent increase in frequency of the word over the frequency of the next lowest rank in the complete list.

Margo stretching her arms
Percent Increase over next rankRANKWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
densecompetitivemodern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
-----------
I have yet to publish the table of frequency for the word ride, but I will get to it shortly. -Michal

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Usage of Ride in Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind

A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #2782

i took the car to the shop. i agreed to let them do the body work. that joyrider better be convicted. if they blame me for this crap.

JC Penney

27 August, 1:09 PM

Frame #5053

i peeked into the hold. it doesnt smell too bad. mcdonalds must be too proud to soil himself. i wonder how long that pride will last.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

7 November, 2:52 AM

Frame #1978

kohls's changing rides. the ipod stopped at an industrial lot next to a gray full.size diesel serra talooz sedan. im not sure of the year.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

17 August, 1:33 PM

Frame #594

nothing quite devastates a womans pride than to see interest piqued brusquely subside. that and a cheater.

Kim "Kris" Kardashian

2 August, 12:08 AM

Frame #6789

the sentries at the academy havent seen anything. but they like my new ride.

Justin Bieber

23 December, 6:24 PM

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Usage of Ride in The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars

An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

When the waltz was being played, Jesus politely asked Sacha if he could cut in. "By all means," he said, relinquishing his bride.

Verse 104 from the chapter called Vows

When Jesus was announced as the Grand Master of the Cosmonauts of St. Benedict in the vestibule of the Sanctuary in Lichen, Sacha Cohen-Krupnik bowed. Hitler Panzer-Tank the Third bowed. Leonard Cohen-Krupnik's widow curtsied. Tomiko Panzer-Tank almost fell down, and Zoe avoided Jesus's gaze. I wondered whether Sacha Cohen-Krupnik recognized me as the man who danced with his bride's monkey. Probably not, I decided.

Verse 103 from the chapter called Vows

How naïve I was in those days! How innocent and well-intentioned! How awash in guilt and pride! How forgiving! How excited and full of love! How desperate and yearning! How hurt! How sad, empty, and alone! How penitent! How in need of someone's love, understanding, encouragement, and support! How basically isolated! How impatient! How surrounded by lust! How conscious of my own duty! My own impossible duty! My destiny! My oath! My future! My life! On Mars!

How unprepared.

Verses 324-325 from the chapter called Vows

That night, Jesus and Zoe almost made love. Getting into bed, Jesus kissed her on the mouth. Zoe went wild. Rolling around, they kissed, pushed, pulled, hugged and squeezed. Zoe removed Jesus's clothes. She saw the tattooed Christogram upon his chest. She was sitting astride Jesus's waist. Pulling up her shirt, Jesus brought her back to attention. She removed it: she removed her shirt! and her bra and pulled Jesus up against her chest. Squeezing tightly, Jesus smelled the beautiful strength upon her breasts and kissed them. He pushed her down to the side of the bed and she spread her legs. Jesus mounted her and he was ready to do it, but there was too much: too much whirling around in his head: too much at stake: his destiny, his word, Zeus on Mars, and this half-Martian, half-Japanese creature in his bed, waiting to be fucked! Something was wrong. Jesus wanted her. He wanted to love this woman but not now: not here: not like this. This would have to wait. Jesus was quickly losing steam. The thought that Zoe must have prepared for this - must be taking contraceptives (there was no way she was looking to conceive) - was the occasion that finally prompted Jesus to cease rubbing himself up and down your mother's wet and fully engorged vulva.

Verse 781 from the chapter called Security

Your father's hand roamed around from one breast to the other, down to the waist and back. In stages, his hand neared your mother's crotch as each succeeding trip to the waist became longer and farther down. By the time your hungry father's hand was lodged underneath your mother's extraordinarily strong waistband, she was squirming around like a three-year-old girl. Jesus was truly surprised, but pride tempered his feelings. Of course your mother was excited - why shouldn't she be?

Verse 634 from the chapter called Security

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Usage of Ride in Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed

A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

NIKE: How much? I'll pay you a thousand.

BARB: A thousand?

NIKE: Yes.

BARB: For taking a ride?

NIKE: Yes.

BARB: Why should I believe you?

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 2, The Second Day, Part 1, Labor & Economic Reform, Section 22, Encountering Poverty, Paragraphs 114-119

NIKE: Here: I'll show you the money. You see: this is my wallet. This is a thousand Euro.

BARB: Just for taking a ride?

NIKE: Yes.

BARB: For how long?

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 2, The Second Day, Part 1, Labor & Economic Reform, Section 22, Encountering Poverty, Paragraphs 120-123

For the rest of the night, it was all I could think about. I was oblivious to the third and final act. I kept my hand at my temple. I was applauding mechanically. When curtain call was over and Indiana led Albert out of the row and up the aisle, I walked behind them silently. Even though I was annoyed - when I realized Indiana was calling a cab, and I thought she could have asked me to do it - I didn't say anything. The cab ride was totally silent. Indiana paid the fare, and, as she was getting out after Albert, she stopped and looked at me.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 1, The First Day, Part 1, Victory & Calendar Reform, Section 13, Apprehension, Paragraph 9

LUKA: They are nice thongs.

NIKE: Nice lacy thongs: the pride of the Polish Beskid. And those women who used to be rolling dough? Now they must be rolling in it.

ANDY: Are you sure?

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 2, The Second Day, Part 1, Labor & Economic Reform, Section 15, Dealing with Grand Schemes, Paragraphs 7-9

After dinner we went to the Viennese Prater. I challenged Macy to a duel on the punching machine: he didn't want to do it, and after I beat him I was pretty sure he hadn't tried his hardest - of course, who knows how those machines work. We even had our picture taken right in front of the Reisenrad, the giant Ferris wheel, and then we took a ride. We had ice cream. It was a very beautiful night, and a few days later, I left for America.

– Title 1, Regarding Peaches and Bananas, Part 2, Section 4, Meeting a Man in Austria, Paragraph 9

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Usage of Ride in Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla

A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

The horseman reached the river. He doubled back. He was carrying a bow in his hand. A spear was stuck in his saddle. A scabbard hung by his side. Gog prepared to cut the rider off. The horseman saw this. He reached back. He took an arrow from his quiver. He notched it into his bow. Gog thought, "May the Holy Bhag protect me." The bow was pulled back. It cracked. The arrow whistled. Gog slashed his swords together. The metal arrowhead glanced off.

– from “In the Beginning, There was Gog,” a fantasy story featuring a man whose son conspires against him

Ferrari's pride was hurt. A flautist was not as prestigious as a trumpeter. At least it kept him close to the condottiero. It seemed like a safe place to be. Practicing music was better than the usual military drills. Ferrari worked while everybody else danced, but his hands were kept cool and clean. Ferrari threw himself into his new profession. He mastered the pipe and tabor, the fiffaro, and the eight-holed flaut.

– from “Italy Sucks and Has Sucked For A Long Time,” an adventure story set in Renaissance Italy for all the difference it makes

Patsy, on the other hand, was drawn by a different feast: the confident stride of youth, emerging from the sea, hands pushing back wet strands, an elbow pointing up, pulling with it a tortuous line of shade across flesh, a motion of such immense gracefulness that, once reaching its climax, it just as soon hid the soft, pale underbelly of the arm that led down to a freshly matted pit of delicately trimmed hair, still peaking from beneath those drawn shoulders, pointing to a pair of bubbly breasts, which, ever so mournfully, turned away, presenting the elegant boxwood bouts of the back, dimpled above the ass, bending now at those generous hips before pushing off with the springiness of freshly leavened dough, and disappearing like satin gauze upon the waves. Now that, thought Patsy, was a girl in desperate need of police investigation.

– from “A Cop Named Patsy,” a funny story featuring a cop who goes to Japan

The helmet moved. A rider on horseback emerged from behind the rocks. The man was armed. A quiver was on his back. The rest of his weapons were hidden by the barrel of his horse. He approached obliquely. Gog thought he could see a spearhead-perhaps a scabbard.

Gog drew the straight sword of Asvin with one hand; the sickle sword of Mithra with the other. The great sword he left sheathed in his belt.

– from “In the Beginning, There was Gog,” a fantasy story featuring a frank discussion of what the world is all about

The woman cried, "I will." She picked up the weapons. She added, "As soon as I have stood on the bridge and peered into the underworld." She faced Gog with her legs astride. "For now, I am a warrior. We have a land to conquer."

Gog was impressed by this audacity. He accepted the woman as his consort. The people recognized her as Magog, living embodiment of the light of Mithra.

– from “In the Beginning, There was Gog,” a fantasy story featuring a man who thinks he can meet the gods

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Usage of Ride in Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall

A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

GREY GOOSE: Open your eyes. Do you know what I was trying to do here? Look at this place. It's a god-damn mess.

FLETCHER: You were only trying to help.

GREY GOOSE: I wasn't. I was trying to please Kokomo. That dishwasher wasn't a gift for your mother. It was a gift for her.

FLETCHER: Don't expect me to believe Mother's story that all this time you've been chasing after the cook.

GREY GOOSE: Things changed the moment your mother convinced herself that she's falling in love with that Kiwi.

FLETCHER: Lesbian is not going to stay here. I doubt Mother would just pack up and leave. All we have to do is be patient. We have to ride this thing out without losing our heads and without letting anybody catch the two of them going at it - whatever the hell it is they do together, which can't be much. They probably just kiss and talk about running off to get married in Spain. Regardless, we can't afford to take any chances - not with our reputation as low as it is.

GREY GOOSE: I argued with her today - not because it was necessary - because I desired it. I shouted what I should never murmur without her permission.

FLETCHER: What are you talking about?

GREY GOOSE: I called her a whore - not because I was roping Luke -because she turned me on. It made me angry to feel so helpless. I argued with Kokomo so that I could be close to her: so that I could breathe in her scent. That's all this stupid dishwasher business was about. Did I say it was a gift? It wasn't a gift. It was a ploy.

FLETCHER: Stay away from her.

– ACT I, lines 1237-1246

(MS. JACKSON exits.)

KOKOMO: Oh, bittersweet news! That I might have my mistress's blessing to wed her son - her firstborn and only son: her pride and joy - and make a Catholic out of a Christian, when she knows her line - her ancient English stock - would rest entirely in my womb, fills me with great joy; but since that stock, if Madam's fears be true, is filled with an urge to plant one's seed in every jar and hole - to roam rakishly over the countryside regardless of warmth at home - I must gird myself to the possibility that my loins will not be enough: that fear of the yoke will upset my plan to reveal with success this very night my feelings to my beloved Fletcher!

– ACT II, line 28

ALICE: 'I am not afrait.'

FLETCHER: 'Do you not like me?'

ALICE: 'I rike you.'

FLETCHER: 'Do I smell?'

ALICE: 'No.'

FLETCHER: 'What is it? Why aren't you enjoying a ride in my canoe?'

ALICE: 'It not canoe.'

FLETCHER: 'Are you afraid of me, Susannah?'

ALICE: 'No.'

FLETCHER: 'Maybe you should be. The fish are scared. Are you a fish?'

– ACT II, lines 70-79

ALICE: 'If you shoot want a yun wife rater?'

FLETCHER: 'I am not Ned Young. I'm not going to shoot anybody. I'm not going to chop anybody's head off with an axe. I'm not going to abandon you for anyone. I'm going to love you for the rest of my life. So help me God, I will. You don't have to run away anymore. You don't have to be afraid that someday you're going to want to hurt me. I will never give you cause.'

ALICE: 'You ton't know tis.'

FLETCHER: 'I do know it. I may be young, but I'm not stupid. I know what I'm doing. I'm following my heart. Even if a thousand men-of-war were to show up this very afternoon with a thousand brides for me to choose from, I wouldn't leave you: not for all the Englishwomen in the world. Who took care of the sprawlers with me? Who threw me Johnny Mills to save young Polly's life? You did. Do you remember that day when the wave nearly swept those infants away? Who saved their lives? We did. Tera-ura: "Sacred Dance." Mata Ohu. It's time we had children of our own. It's time for you to have a proper family. What say you? Will you marry me?'

– ACT II, lines 214-217

FLETCHER: Oh, Money! God of first fruits! Bringer of knowledge! Harvester of truth! Where would Man be without thy cold kindness? Give me your hand. Let the lorikeets squeak out the rhythm of our steps. We'll dance a polonaise. I'll sashay you around the South Pacific. Who could prove to be a better partner? No man could be as faithful; no woman either. Even if she bleed by the moon, her temper is not as mild. Obedience notwithstanding, her character can seem, at times, positively restive. Feistiness is a woman's most vicious virtue. It can burn a man's pride even while it warms his heart. In truth, a man who marries money is liable to finding a bed so stiff the kingfisher would laugh. Without it, one would cry at night like the ghost bird. Thanks to money, nature is Man's slave. Weathering the vicissitudes of fortune, the wealthy man works the ground for as long as the ground does not work him. When that day comes, let's hope that our money has not defrauded us of our nature.

– ACT I, line 797

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Usage of Ride in Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats

A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

The day was bright when I left Moscow. I was in such a cheerful mood I had to stop myself from smiling. People were always telling me always to smile. People who never smile themselves. As if there's nothing wrong with a black man who's smiling. A black man who's always smiling looks like a fool like anybody else. I was foolish enough just doing what I was doing. I had to keep my face quiet. The entire bus ride I stared at my reflection in the window. I wanted to look confident without seeming too proud.

– from “A Black Man in Moscow,” an inspirational story that describes life as we know it, though hopefully it can change

I'm not angry. My wife is a sensitive person. I understand that. I'm counting on it. Eventually my wife's sense of smell and her lust and perhaps even her sense of justice will overcome her sense of pride.

– from “The Backed-Up Toilet,” a literature story based on somebody's real life, namely the author's

We need only refer to nineteenth century French literature to confirm this. According to Anatole France, Saint Paphnutius was destroyed by a look. Struck by the sight of Thais on stage, as she played the role of pure-hearted Polyxena, lifting the curtain with her white arm, pride and resignation in her violet eyes, the hermit monk, sent to save the whore from her dissipation, grew so infatuated with her image, learning later she was on her death bed, surrounded by her fellow nuns, he begged her petulantly not to die, rejecting Heaven, as she rose, moments before her final breath, to proclaim a vision of God with such rapture in her eyes, it held for poor Paphnutius the profound emptiness of his own soul. He turned into a vampire. That is the power of a look.

– from “St. Andrew's Eve,” a story of love that may ease one's sense of discomfort depending on your outlook

One day out of the blue Kelly asked me for a ride home. She let me take her straight to my house. She never went back to pick up clothes or anything. She lounged around my house naked for a week. I finally told her she should either wash the one pair of clothes she had and come with me to pick up more or tell me what I should buy cause I was willing to pay for anything. She said she was fine with whatever I thought was okay.

– from “Two Years,” an adult fiction story about a female guard at a women's prison

The beautiful Branca was the first child born to Sir Lima. The first of ten. I'm sure she was and remains his pride and joy. I wouldn't know. I've never met the man. Or Branca. Everything I know about her and her family comes from the boy who lived down the street from them. The boy who grew up to be a priest. A professor. The boy who to this day at the sheer mention of the name Branca leans back his head, inserts hand into shirt and begins violently pumping the fabric as if pistons were about to explode through his chest. I wish he wouldn't do it. If he tears a hole in his shirt I won't buy him a new one. His tastes are too expensive. That's his Hong Kong upbringing. His vow of poverty hasn't done much to squash it.

– from “Beautiful Branca,” a true story that isn't entirely factual if remember correctly

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Collocation of Ride in the Fiction Corpus

Table of Collocation for the Word "Ride."

This table lists in descending order of frequency a selection of word pairs that appear in the Fiction Corpus and groups them according to the morphological derivation of the word ride that appears in the pair.

TypeWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
modern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
--------
I have yet to perform a collocation analysis of "ride." I hope I can get it done sometime soon. -Michal

Love is the answer...

What are we waiting for? Let's accept it!

Are you a eunuch?

The art show that defies abuse

The Body Acceptance Calendar

A really good idea for a monthly calendar

If a 45-year-old businesswoman and hard working mother of three kids is going to pose nude for a calendar, it's gonna have to be a good one. Margo didn't start a coffee shop called the Vagina Cafe to win her favors from the establishment. Even as she dishes out prizes to the 20 women who placed last in the twentienth anniversary run of her town's biggest road race, her business, unlike everyone else, doesn't get mentioned. She was an official sponsor for Christ's sake! But the announcer just couldn't swallow his patriarchy and get the words "Vagina Cafe" out of his mouth. That's not something a proper gentleman would say in front of a crowd of humble God-fearing "ladies" who cherish their modesty! And a Body Acceptance Calendar is certainly not what a humble God-fearing book-seller like a Barnes and Noble would put on their shelves! So how do I expect to sell this in the mainstream? Maybe if you download the free versions a thousand billion times it might help. Start downloading.

A miniature portrait of MichalMargo at the beach

Help support the "Ride" page alive...

If you love women and art...

Michal's exporting Polish art...is he bats?

Michal's Sales Pitch
Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts

  1. T-shirt fundraiser for sale

    Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser for sale.

    Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed. Pointer

    From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  2. Felt handbag for sale

    Handcrafted felt handbag for sale.

    Felt bag by Dorota. Pointer

    Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  3. Decorative collar for sale

    Handcrafted decorative collar for sale.

    Decorative collar by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  4. Seamless handbag for sale

    Handcrafted seamless handbag for sale.

    Handbag by Sylwia. Pointer

    Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  5. Patchwork quilt for sale

    Handcrafted patchwork quilt for sale.

    Patchwork quilt by Alicja. Pointer

    Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  6. Nuno-felt shawl for sale

    Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl for sale.

    Shawl by Sylwia. Pointer

    Scarf made ​​with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  7. Clara the doll for sale

    Handcrafted clara the doll for sale.

    Clara by Alicja. Pointer

    Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  8. Noah the doll for sale

    Handcrafted noah the doll for sale.

    Noah by Alicja. Pointer

    Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  9. Black suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted black suspenders for sale.

    Black suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  10. Orange suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted orange suspenders for sale.

    Orange suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  11. Green suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted green suspenders for sale.

    Green suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  12. Felt earrings for sale

    Handcrafted felt earrings for sale.

    Felt earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  13. Round ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted round ceramic earrings for sale.

    Round ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  14. Oblong ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings for sale.

    Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  15. 'Coral' necklace for sale

    Handcrafted 'coral' necklace for sale.

    Corals by Sylwia. Pointer

    Necklace made ​​of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser
Handcrafted felt handbag
Handcrafted decorative collar
Handcrafted seamless handbag
Handcrafted patchwork quilt
Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl
Handcrafted clara the doll
Handcrafted noah the doll
Handcrafted black suspenders
Handcrafted orange suspenders
Handcrafted green suspenders
Handcrafted felt earrings
Handcrafted round ceramic earrings
Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings
Handcrafted 'coral' necklace