Help End Exploitation With Art

Strength and dignity are her clothing...

Proverbs 31:25

Author's Note: I have been enjoined from sharing the details of my true romance adventure until such time that the other party is prepared to present her perspective on the affair arrangement...

By the end of my first week in Europe in 2011, I had bought a car and out of the blue had met the woman who would join me on a 6,000 mile trek across the European continent, sharing the beat-up car that I had bought and the one small tent from Walmart that I had brought along with me on my flight.

Though I felt fully formed as a writer, and had been trained in visual language, it was my first time with a professional camera in my hands. I was just learning the ins and outs and had come to Europe to find as diverse a selection of subject matter as possible, preferably something that fit my aesthetic devotion to promoting body acceptance. Enter Margo.

I was American. Freshly arrived in Europe and the new owner of a '97 Ford Escort made in Germany. The only thing I had to complain about was the fact that the owner's manual was in German. She was from Poland, and a German-language owner's manual for a car bought in Poland wasn't the only thing she had to complain about. Something as small as that didn't even register.

Despite the cops in Vienna. Despite the rain in Veržej. Despite getting lost in Italy. Despite parting at Soest. Despite that night in Amsterdam. Despite our fight in Lisieux. Despite the storm in the Bois de la Roche. Despite that terrible morning outside Collonges. Despite the long road to Pielenhofen, we came back safe and sound and most importantly we were happy. We had started to learn how to listen. We had left the devils of the road behind and the devils ahead seemed just a little bit smaller. We had started to open up.

One of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe. — 6,000 miles across Europe with a complete stranger
**Day 16**
8/4/2011
⚖ 15༛♊²⁵/₂₄♀
Camping Club Léman
Préverenges, Switzerland
THE DISAPPEARING WOMAN, THE DISAPPEARING MAN...
a collection of modern art prints and posters
During our trip across Europe, Margo very bravely opened up to me and to the camera. It was a difficult thing to do considering the scars that she carries. I wanted to share with the world her often joyful, often sad, often angry but always liberating experience except that the Internet is full of pictures of naked women and men and full of trolls who abuse them.
I realized that what I really need to point out is not the openness that Margo and I cultivated between ourselves, but the darkness that continues to surround us. When I censor nudity, I do so in a way that does not compromise the integrity of the human body. In censoring the photographs that Margo and I took during our trip, I was quick to notice that in those pictures where Margo was at her most open, at her most unguarded and most relaxed, in a word, when she was herself and basking in the sun I was forced to blacken her completely.
Why does our society drive people into darkness? Why can we not accept ourselves as we are? Why can we not accept our bodies? Have we truly become eunuchs? Or are we capable of defying the sickness that pits us against each other? Together we could conquer the devils that abuse us.
Whether you enjoy being nude or not, whether you've been photographed nude or not, but especially if, for you, like for Margo, it's something you never thought you would do, consider submitting your own photograph to be published in a censored manner as a form of protest against the ubiquitous presence of the human body on the internet, naked or not, that is published and duplicated ad infinitum without context and without regard for the identity or the needs of the individual being depicted.

Previous Image — 6,000 miles across Europe with a complete stranger
**Day 16**
8/4/2011
⚖ 15༛♊²⁵/₂₄♀
Camping Club Léman
Préverenges, Switzerland
THE DISAPPEARING WOMAN, THE DISAPPEARING MAN...
a collection of modern art prints and posters
During our trip across Europe, Margo very bravely opened up to me and to the camera. It was a difficult thing to do considering the scars that she carries. I wanted to share with the world her often joyful, often sad, often angry but always liberating experience except that the Internet is full of pictures of naked women and men and full of trolls who abuse them.
I realized that what I really need to point out is not the openness that Margo and I cultivated between ourselves, but the darkness that continues to surround us. When I censor nudity, I do so in a way that does not compromise the integrity of the human body. In censoring the photographs that Margo and I took during our trip, I was quick to notice that in those pictures where Margo was at her most open, at her most unguarded and most relaxed, in a word, when she was herself and basking in the sun I was forced to blacken her completely.
Why does our society drive people into darkness? Why can we not accept ourselves as we are? Why can we not accept our bodies? Have we truly become eunuchs? Or are we capable of defying the sickness that pits us against each other? Together we could conquer the devils that abuse us.
Whether you enjoy being nude or not, whether you've been photographed nude or not, but especially if, for you, like for Margo, it's something you never thought you would do, consider submitting your own photograph to be published in a censored manner as a form of protest against the ubiquitous presence of the human body on the internet, naked or not, that is published and duplicated ad infinitum without context and without regard for the identity or the needs of the individual being depicted.

Usage of Half in Michal's Fiction Corpus

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

If you're wondering...

How do I use this?

Just click on a title to see examples of the word "half" being used in a particular work. You'll stay on the same spot on the page, only the Table of Contents will disappear. To get back to the Table of Contents just click next to the image of the Bare Bottom imprint where it says "Back to Usage of Half: Table of Contents."“And...?”

The Table of Frequency and the Table of Collocation provide numerical information about how many times the word half appears in its original or modified form and with which words. It can help to give you an idea of how a word is used and in what contexts.“Ok.”

Why a Fiction Corpus?

The popular understanding of the word "fiction" and its complement "non-fiction" is a reflection of the cultural influence of a classification system. The Dewey Decimal System is responsible for separating "fiction" from all other work and categorizing it by author's name. This has influenced the popular idea of fiction as a narrative that tends to be "untrue" and the product of an individual's fantasy, a bias compounded by modern art's century-long obsession with abstraction, surrealism and self-expression.“So...?”

My idea of fiction rests on the idea that art doesn't have to be factual to be a true reflection of our existence. Adam and Eve didn't have to exist as two individuals 700 generations ago for them to be true portraits of two human beings trying to work together.“And...?”

The Bible is a Fiction Corpus. It is a body of writing that isn't overly concerned with facts and yet its words carry weight. It was written by many different authors living in different places with different audiences in mind, yet everyone gleans something from it.“Right...”

In preparing my fiction corpus, I have striven to see the world through the eyes of others. Through the eyes of my Adams and Eves I hope that you too will glean some truth about our existence. At the very least you will learn some more about how one man can use the English language.“Ok.”

Who are you, Michal?

I'm just a guy who makes art. And if you're interested in making a solid investment in an aesthetic that supports our present and future welfare, then I will help you look for something that you can buy.“How...?”

Everybody makes. Everybody sells. Some people know how to protect their interests. Some better than others. Few people know how to listen. Listening to somebody means considering their interests as if they were your own. Going out and doing something to satisfy another person's interest is how we build a strong economy. Without a strong economy, democracy collapses.“And...?”

Buying 4Occupy is buying for democracy. Don't give your money to somebody who's ruining it. There's no such thing as cheap democracy, quick democracy, or easy democracy. There's good, solid, complete democracy and the tyranny of feudalism. Let's not mix the two. Let's not buy everything on the cheap. Let's not create another tyrant and enslave ourselves because it was easier not to think about what we were doing. Let's protect our interests. Let's listen.“Ok.”

Who's really behind this site?

Have you ever been to one of those post-it-yourself retail websites where there's a really attractive top-seller ready to give you tips on how you can be a top-seller too?“Uh...”

Have you ever been to a "job" interview where you sit in a line, walk through one door, get hired as a contractor and walk out another door, so that the other applicants don't realize that everyone's getting "hired" to work in the same market?“Maybe...”

The internet is full of people who are ready to exploit your ignorance. They are people who want to make money at the expense of our economy. They are cheats.“And...?”

I, Michal, am behind this site. Not some fat plutocrat exploiting my image. I like to do things the right way. I like to work with people who take the time to do things right.“Why...?”

I used to work for a company that didn't do things the right way. My labor was exploited because of mismanagement. That company was the United States Postal Service, an independent agency of the United States Government that is ultimately controlled by Congress. I'm mad because if the Federal Government can exploit labor, who is going to stop every other cheat from doing it?“Labor Unions...?”

Don't say labor unions. I went to my labor union and they did nothing. They ignored me because labor unions aren't democracies. Holding a free and fair election for a "representative" once in a blue moon does not equal people ruling. Democracy means open government. It means we the public need to accept the hard work. It's the only way to secure liberty and equality.“Ok.”

What's the difference between use and usage?

Definition-wise, not much. But the -age suffix is ultimately French in origin and with most things French, at least in American eyes, the immediate thought is that of something precious and arcane whose value should be judged very carefully. This is in contrast to the word France, which is associated with a beautiful place. Thus people in France or from France are beautiful, warm, kind people. Generous even. Unlike French people who suck. Unless you're frenching, in which case you're only sometimes sucking.“And...?”

Along those lines, usage means you're in bed. Use means you're just heavy petting. Also notice that common people, like common words, get used...whereas "proper" things make "appearances." Whether or not you are being exploited is a different story. Exploitation is what happens when somebody uses you or your property without listening to you. Listening is what happens when you consider another person's needs as if they were your own. You don't have to satisfy those needs. All you need to do is consider them. So many of us can't even do that.“So...?”

Help stop exploitation. Buy 4occupy. Buy a better world. Whether or not you feel you can afford to buy art, consider joining my protest. I want to guarantee every working man and every working mother on this planet a 15-day universal holiday. But I can't. Only we can do that. We have to work together. We have to accept the idea that everyone deserves time for himself and we need to build that time into a new kind of calendar. We have to give peace it's own day. We have to make love something you can't avoid. We have to make even the most miserly cold-hearted capitalist among us say that he cashed his check on Love Your Neighbor Day. There won't be any other way to say it once the Acceptance Calendar is widely adopted.“Ok.”

Back to Usage of Half: Table of Contents

Half, a morphological approach

I have yet to make a morphological analysis of the word half.

That doesn't mean it's not high on my list.

Table of Frequency for the Word "Half."
This table lists in descending order the total number of times that the word halfand any of its morphological derivations appears in the Fiction Corpus, along with a breakdown of frequency by title, the respective rank of each word in the complete list of all words in the Corpus, as calculated both densely and competitively, as well as the percent increase in frequency of the word over the frequency of the next lowest rank in the complete list.
Percent Increase over next rank	RANK		WORD	Frequency
	RANK			TOTAL # of occurences	MCDONALDS	JESUS	SEX	TSIGA	JACKSON	DINGBATS
	dense	competitive		TOTAL # of occurences	modern/sloppy	biblical/terse	poetic/high-brow	hard/fast	talky	mixed salad
-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-
I have yet to publish the table of frequency for the word half, but I will get to it shortly. -Michal

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Usage of Half in Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind — A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #4850

i gained half a mile today. jibe by bloody jibe. i wonder how much ill lose overnight.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

19 October, 10:33 PM

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Usage of Half in The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars — An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

When I went to the paper-money-actuated coin dispenser, I removed a high-denomination bill from my wallet and a monkey stole it. He came out of nowhere and ripped it from my hand. He was a half a meter long, with a somewhat longer tail. He was tan colored, with a big, round head, a bare brown face and well-built arms and legs. He looked at me from two meters away and said 'Come and get it.' He was thick; his body was nice and thick - well-fed - his belly was bulging out like nobody's business. "You've got a lot of nerve," I said, "with a belly like that." He was standing erect, using his tail for support. Then he placed the paper money into his mouth, turned around, dropped to his little monkey hands and walked away - very, very slowly. The bastard didn't even run; he walked.

– Verse 389 from the chapter called Bohemia

As Jesus waited, he took his vows at St. Mary's Church in Krakow. Kneeling before the famous altarpiece, he kissed a crucifix and vowed obedience to the Pope, poverty, and chastity. On his way out, Jesus stopped halfway down the nave, turned around, and watched a nun closing the right wing, then the left. The altarpiece was hidden. Jesus felt something end - something indescribable.

– Verse 292 from the chapter called Vows

Carrying the bodies down the path, we got to the orchards and turned right. Sneaking along the side of an old and withered orchard, we reached the other half of Field Road. The cemetery was nearby. All we had to do now was pass in front of a few houses. "It's clear," said one of the men. Surreptitiously, we carried the bodies through the streets until we reached a hole in a fence. Going through the hole, we found ourselves inside the cemetery, though tucked into the southwestern corner, which lay hidden from the eastern side by a low-lying ridge. Going along the western edge, we reached another group of men. They were digging.

– Verse 150 from the chapter called Security

When Sapper came, he threatened everything. Sapper was stupid, but, quite apart from that, he couldn't speak English. That situation was troublesome. Introducing Sapper was difficult; to abandon him, cruel. Jesus wavered. After making a few half-hearted attempts, he quit. Resigning himself to the situation, he decided to stay at home and not show himself in public. That way, the whole problem was avoided. Then, two older girls began showing interest. Jesus wasn't sure what they wanted. Sapper wasn't good for anything but standing there and looking dumb - despite his intense interest in girls. Jesus was convinced that Sapper was the object of their ridicule, not their sincere interest. With mixed feelings of shame and guilt, Jesus abandoned his cousin one day in order to have a rendezvous with those two older girls. After this encounter, Jesus began suspecting that he was the object of their ridicule, not his cousin. He was terribly confused.

– Verse 236 from the chapter called Childhood

"What!"

"No, listen to me: this way, if we don't like it, we don't have to do it again."

"Who's going to keep track?"

"Thirty-three minutes isn't long enough."

"How long do we have to do it?"

"However long it takes."

"Everyday? For thirty-three and a half days?"

"Don't forget: we have to do it twice a day."

"Twice a day! For thirty-three and a half days?"

"We don't have to do it twice a day if we don't want to," said one of our leaders. "We can do it whenever we want."

"We should have a schedule."

"No: that's too complicated."

"We should have a logbook."

"Logbook? What do you mean?"

– Verses 453-466 from the chapter called Adolescence

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Usage of Half in Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed — A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

I must not forget that he is also half-Russian, and totally capable of exploiting that angle as well. There's nothing quite like a forceful and rough-spoken Eastern European, especially when you're trying to capture a crowd's attention, hoping that you'll engender in them the appropriate caution, respect, and awe (making sure that their reactions are observed by everyone around you, eager for those feelings to filter down to every individual) until you have just the right timidity, when you can begin condescending to show a gentler edge for their sake, and thereby win them over with your generosity. I wonder whether Nike performed a trick like this with his family, making sure that Luka was close enough to observe his dominance. It might have played a role in the formation of their partnership. Who knows?

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 2, The Second Day, Part 1, Labor & Economic Reform, Section 4, The Male Personality, Paragraph 4

Poor Albert: I can only wonder what else he had to manage; I saw him deal with a lot, but I'm sure I didn't get to see half of it. I can almost understand now why he moved out for the last few days. But still, so many things I cannot understand, so many vivid memories being made even more vivid.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 1, The First Day, Part 1, Victory & Calendar Reform, Section 3, Wondering, Paragraph 5, Clauses 6-9

NIKE: I just don't fucking get it. Why do the police make such a big fucking deal?

INDIE: You know why, Nike? Because she's a fucking nun, man. Why would they be looking for a tunic if they didn't know she was a nun?

NIKE: I know, but it just doesn't make any sense. If she's a nun, then why the hell wasn't she wearing a tunic in the first place? Did someone come and steal it right off her back?

INDIE: Maybe she tore the thing in half.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 6, The Sixth Day, Part 1, Children & Education Reform, Section 5, Talking Through A Problem With A Friend, Paragraphs 18-21

NIKE: I'm saying that the police don't think she's a prostitute. They don't think she's a woman who would walk around half-naked. They think her tunic was stolen from her when she was raped, and she's not doing anything to refute that. She's keeping silent.

INDIE: And she's keeping silent -

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 6, The Sixth Day, Part 1, Children & Education Reform, Section 5, Talking Through A Problem With A Friend, Paragraphs 34-35

By the time I found myself waiting for Luke an extra half-hour, I was so incredibly fatigued I couldn't stop myself from falling asleep. Sprawling on the soft duvet of Luke's bed, I began to dream. I dreamt of that boy - the one I mistook for Luke walking down the hall - I saw his face, the resemblance to Macy - the wide walnut eyes were consuming me; they were consuming my mind until I saw nothing but them: they consumed my dream; I was no longer looking at them but through them - they were somebody else's eyes, watching undistinguishable forms - my dreaming mind was too tired to focus; until finally, there was my room from Prospect Street, and there was I: floating above myself; I tried to kiss me, but I was fast asleep.

– Title 1, Regarding Peaches and Bananas, Part 2, Section 7, Trying to Kiss, Paragraph 17

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Usage of Half in Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla — A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

"Her half-Mongolian Highness," Manfredo would correct him.

"Her half-Mongolian Christian Highness!"

"Long live the Pope!" This would make everybody spit his drink.

"Which one?" asked Manfredo.

"Benedetto," somebody dared to whisper.

– from “Italy Sucks and Has Sucked For A Long Time,” an adventure story featuring anal sex

The light emitting diodes of the console spelled out the time. It was the middle of the night. The dashboard, awash in a dim glow, seemingly floated-a stage lit with miniature footlights. It was polyvinyl chloride. It was dark-like burgundy. Hard, smooth, horizontal, finite, it complemented the straight and endless road. It was: the cross of the crucifixion. I blinked. Was that right? Was the dashboard the beam? the road, the pole plunging headlong into earth? Whither did it will me go?

– from “Paris Is For Rapists, Too,” a ghost story featuring a half-naked nun

Tatum screwed it off. She pulled her arm into the body of her suit. She found the PDA. She squeezed it through her collar. She took it with her gloved hand. She pressed the red button. Tatum counted. It was supposed to take five seconds. She looked down. The man was half-way up. Tatum reached ten. Something was wrong. "Hee-hee."

– from “Dirty Manga People Are Disgusting,” a spooky story set in space

Nike stretched his eyebrows. "I agree," he said. "It gets so wrinkly." Barbara looked out the window. She was surprised to see people. They were on the Reine.

Nike mused, "Most religious think vestments are a block that separates them from regular folks. In our case, I like to think it's brought us closer together." He put a hand on Barbara's leg.

Her head darted towards Luka. "Stop," she cried. Luka obliged.

Nike looked out the window. They were surrounded by half-naked freaks. He grimaced. He whined, "Don't stop."

– from “Paris Is For Rapists, Too,” a ghost story featuring a frank discussion of nuns

Gog considered that. He realized such satisfaction was something to be desired. He removed his belt. He placed the buckle onto a rock. He knelt in front of it on one knee. He addressed the buckle. He slowly lifted the blade. He addressed the buckle again. He slowly lifted the blade. He swung. The top bar snapped.

The woman laughed. "You're half done. Now the sword is too dull to do the rest."

– from “In the Beginning, There was Gog,” a fantasy story set in the middle east

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Usage of Half in Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall — A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

ALICE: You may.

FLETCHER: If the beautiful lady will oblige me thus, I know I shall play my part with an ardor heretofore unseen on any stage here or in any part of the Western world. 'Susannah.'

ALICE: 'Yes, Toc.'

FLETCHER: 'I wish to marry you.'

ALICE: 'Marry me!'

FLETCHER: 'I wish to be married to you.'

ALICE: 'Ton't pee sirry, Toc. I am ote enough to pee your mutter.'

FLETCHER: 'You're not my mother, Susannah - not by a long shot. You're not half as tall, nor half as old either. Nor is she as pretty as you are, beloved.'

ALICE: 'Man shoot haf yun wife.'

FLETCHER: 'Susannah, you have been kinder to me than anyone else I have ever known. I love you better than everybody else put together.'

– ACT II, lines 204-213

LUKE: What's the difference between the two?

MS. JACKSON: Bounty families are descendant from the original Bounty mutineers, who settled on Pitcairn Island-

FLETCHER: With their Tahitian consorts. I'm sorry. I meant their Tahitian wives. And their Tahitian slaves. I mean, their male Tahitian friends.

MS. JACKSON: The Pitcairner families are descendant-

FLETCHER: From three adventurers - to be more precise, from two ack-willy whalers and a soldier-of-fortune.

LUKE: That's a ridgy-didge pedigree. Too right!

FLETCHER: It gets better. Being a direct descendant of my namesake, Fletcher Christian, the illustrious chief of the mutiny on the Bounty, I am therefore descendant from the ancient rulers of the Isle of Man.

LUKE: A reg'lar Pommy!

FLETCHER: My father's mother was a Quintal. That means half of him is descendant from a drunken scoundrel who set his ship on fire, drove his wife to suicide, and threatened to kill the entire island population. That's not the side of the story we like to tell. We prefer the story of how John Jackson turned to Christianity and taught his children to read and write. Jackson, I'll have you know, was a Christian before he became a Jackson. He changed his name the moment the British rediscovered the island. My mother admires his cowardice so much, she did the same thing.

– ACT I, lines 93-101

FLETCHER: What?

ALICE: You wouldn't stick me up in one of your precious pine trees, would you?

FLETCHER: Not if you stop.

ALICE: What's the matter? Don't you like your native tongue?

FLETCHER: You have no idea how many times I've had to repeat stupid phrases for guests.

ALICE: I'm sorry. I keep forgetting that you're a-

FLETCHER: What? A native? That's alright. I'm white and I speak English.

ALICE: It's funny, isn't it? Norfuk: half-Tahitian, half-eighteenth-century English.

FLETCHER: It's got its charm.

ALICE: I wonder what Pitcairn was like when the mutineers got there with their wives.

– ACT I, lines 602-611

ALICE: Where is she?

KOKOMO: In what seems like paradise: Western Samoa.

ALICE: I thought you liked it here.

KOKOMO: I do. I can't help being homesick. Norfolk is small. Between the locals and the tourists, I think I've had enough.

ALICE: I understand.

KOKOMO: There aren't so many tourists back home. The islands are big. Half the land is forest.

ALICE: It sounds nice.

KOKOMO: It's a mixed blessing. Few tourists means fewer crowds but also less money.

ALICE: Do a lot of Samoans emigrate?

KOKOMO: They do. It's different for me. I'm half European. My father's from Vladivostok.

– ACT I, lines 830-839

GREY GOOSE: Let's face it. I'm as old as a carburetor and half as useful. Throw me out with the rest of the garbage. I don't care - as long as you let me waft through here on occasion.

FLETCHER: Don't let Mother see you.

GREY GOOSE: I won't.

FLETCHER: Don't let her smell you either.

GREY GOOSE: Prick.

FLETCHER: Old fart.

– ACT I, lines 1287-1292

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Usage of Half in Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats — A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

Proctor was halfway through his part of the list when the call came through. It was a third victim. Reclining on a park bench. One arm behind the head. The other placed along the leg. Deposited in broad daylight. No witnesses. A jogger called it in. Thought it was a nudist playing a prank. When Proctor arrived on the scene he noticed how livid the body was near the bottom. The job had been rushed. There was no artistry to it. Ligature marks were clearly visible around the neck.

– from “We Need To Talk,” a mystery story featuring a nude model put in a weird position

The year came and went faster than Sir Lewis could've hoped. Before he knew it he was settled into his dorm. He had his books. His final schedule. Syllabi for every class. He even had his homework done for about half his professors. It was time for math club.

– from “The Skirt on the Proctor,” a kid story about making connections in an unforgiving world

The Amazon called his team. One half was still following Orbitz on the cruise ship. The other half was in front of the shop. He ordered them into the neon building. They walked up to the second floor. The team leader paused. He could hear something in the room ahead. It sounded like a man rapping his fingers on a desk. He pushed open the door. There was no desk. There was no man. There was clutter everywhere. Strange objects of art and furniture stacked on top of each other loomed from every corner. The rapping continued. It was slower now. It was more cautious. The men squeezed into the room. All of them were transfixed by the sound. It was coming from behind a low curtain. The curtain was draped over what seemed like a crate. Or a cage. The men crowded in front of it. The leader reached out his hand. He grabbed a corner of the curtain. He lifted it.

– from “The Death and Life of Captain Orbitz,” a science fiction romance written out of respect for Stanislaw Lem, if you know who that is

I discovered a beautiful pavilion. Completely abandoned. Pristine toilet followed pristine toilet. I commenced spewing all over. Grunting and panting through the intervals. I shat half my body weight before I heard somebody come inside. This person was going from toilet to toilet. Opening every door. I was afraid my gut wasn't the only thing about to be liquidated. My unseen nemesis banged on my stall. I calmly ignored it. I dispensed half a roll of paper. I cleaned everything up. I don't remember if I flushed. When I opened the door the largest woman I have ever seen snarled at me and started shouting. I have no idea what she was saying. It sounded like a lot. She followed me out of the pavilion and halfway back to the stadium. I was sure if I didn't lose myself in the crowd she would find me and have me killed. That was the end of my trip.

– from “The Most Idiotic Actress,” a fictional story based on true life as related to the author

The whole issue was rendered moot when the first resident of the house in question decided not to put up a mailbox. He purchased a post office box instead. This pleased nobody. Especially not the clerks. The man got a lot of oversized first-class mail. The situation lasted years until the man finally moved out. His mother moved in. His mother received a lot of third-class mail. Half a tray of URGENT! URGENT! contest victories everyday. It was getting thrown out. The woman was horrified to learn that third class mail didn't get delivered to post office boxes. She put up her own box. A month before the Rural Mail Count. The count of all mail that would decide rural carrier salaries for the foreseeable future.

– from “Wrong Again,” a success story inspired by fact, though the details are fictional

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Collocation of Half in the Fiction Corpus

Table of Collocation for the Word "Half."
This table lists in descending order of frequency a selection of word pairs that appear in the Fiction Corpus and groups them according to the morphological derivation of the word half that appears in the pair.
Type	Frequency
	TOTAL # of occurences	MCDONALDS	JESUS	SEX	TSIGA	JACKSON	DINGBATS
	TOTAL # of occurences	modern/sloppy	biblical/terse	poetic/high-brow	hard/fast	talky	mixed salad
-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-
I have yet to perform a collocation analysis of "half." I hope I can get it done sometime soon. -Michal