Help End Psychological Manipulation With Art

Strength and dignity are her clothing...

Proverbs 31:25

Author's Note: I have been enjoined from sharing the details of my true romance adventure until such time that the other party is prepared to present her perspective on the affair arrangement...

In June of 2011 I arrived in Europe for what I hoped would be a great adventure; my only concrete plan, to visit Croatia. By September I had driven 6,000 miles and visited 12 different countries, all with a woman I met on the first Friday of my trip.

As an artist, from the beginning of my adult career, my work had been devoted to the problem of body acceptance, a goal that I would later learn was shared by a whole community of people called naturists, a humble portion of which I discovered residing in Poland, a country whose cultural conservatism does not lend itself readily to forward thinking. One of those forward-thinking Polish naturists happened to be Margo.

I had an American passport. She didn't. And the fact that I was driving a car with Polish license plates gave her ample opportunity to point out the difference. It wasn't just police and border guards who ethnically profiled me. Regular folks did it too. One campsite owner didn't shake my hand until he realized I was an American. By that point, I had trained myself to use a simplified English, something that more closely resembled what passes for a lingua franca in Europe these days. Something Margo was trying very hard to master.

Margo and I spent over 40 days on the road. We started out as basically strangers, but in those 40 days we started listening to each other. We started teaching ourselves how to cooperate. Our journey across Europe may have ended, but our journey towards each other continues. No amount of fear, anger, sadness, disgust or anticipation can stop hope. Slowly but surely, we're learning how to beat the devils that abuse us.

One of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe. — 6,000 miles across Europe with a complete stranger
**Day 34**
8/22/2011
♫ 3༜♊²⁵/₂₄♀
Koad Ar Roc'h
Neant Sur Yvel, France
THE DISAPPEARING WOMAN, THE DISAPPEARING MAN...
a collection of modern art prints and posters
During our trip across Europe, Margo very bravely opened up to me and to the camera. It was a difficult thing to do considering the scars that she carries. I wanted to share with the world her often joyful, often sad, often angry but always liberating experience except that the Internet is full of pictures of naked women and men and full of trolls who abuse them.
I realized that what I really need to point out is not the openness that Margo and I cultivated between ourselves, but the darkness that continues to surround us. When I censor nudity, I do so in a way that does not compromise the integrity of the human body. In censoring the photographs that Margo and I took during our trip, I was quick to notice that in those pictures where Margo was at her most open, at her most unguarded and most relaxed, in a word, when she was herself and basking in the sun I was forced to blacken her completely.
Why does our society drive people into darkness? Why can we not accept ourselves as we are? Why can we not accept our bodies? Have we truly become eunuchs? Or are we capable of defying the sickness that pits us against each other? Together we could conquer the devils that abuse us.
Whether you enjoy being nude or not, whether you've been photographed nude or not, but especially if, for you, like for Margo, it's something you never thought you would do, consider submitting your own photograph to be published in a censored manner as a form of protest against the ubiquitous presence of the human body on the internet, naked or not, that is published and duplicated ad infinitum without context and without regard for the identity or the needs of the individual being depicted.

Previous Image — 6,000 miles across Europe with a complete stranger
**Day 34**
8/22/2011
♫ 3༜♊²⁵/₂₄♀
Koad Ar Roc'h
Neant Sur Yvel, France
THE DISAPPEARING WOMAN, THE DISAPPEARING MAN...
a collection of modern art prints and posters
During our trip across Europe, Margo very bravely opened up to me and to the camera. It was a difficult thing to do considering the scars that she carries. I wanted to share with the world her often joyful, often sad, often angry but always liberating experience except that the Internet is full of pictures of naked women and men and full of trolls who abuse them.
I realized that what I really need to point out is not the openness that Margo and I cultivated between ourselves, but the darkness that continues to surround us. When I censor nudity, I do so in a way that does not compromise the integrity of the human body. In censoring the photographs that Margo and I took during our trip, I was quick to notice that in those pictures where Margo was at her most open, at her most unguarded and most relaxed, in a word, when she was herself and basking in the sun I was forced to blacken her completely.
Why does our society drive people into darkness? Why can we not accept ourselves as we are? Why can we not accept our bodies? Have we truly become eunuchs? Or are we capable of defying the sickness that pits us against each other? Together we could conquer the devils that abuse us.
Whether you enjoy being nude or not, whether you've been photographed nude or not, but especially if, for you, like for Margo, it's something you never thought you would do, consider submitting your own photograph to be published in a censored manner as a form of protest against the ubiquitous presence of the human body on the internet, naked or not, that is published and duplicated ad infinitum without context and without regard for the identity or the needs of the individual being depicted.

Usage of Problem in Michal's Fiction Corpus

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

If you're wondering...

How do I use this?

Just click on a title to see examples of the word "problem" being used in a particular work. You'll stay on the same spot on the page, only the Table of Contents will disappear. To get back to the Table of Contents just click next to the image of the Bare Bottom imprint where it says "Back to Usage of Problem: Table of Contents."“And...?”

The Table of Frequency and the Table of Collocation provide numerical information about how many times the word problem appears in its original or modified form and with which words. It can help to give you an idea of how a word is used and in what contexts.“Ok.”

Why a Fiction Corpus?

The popular understanding of the word "fiction" and its complement "non-fiction" is a reflection of the cultural influence of a classification system. The Dewey Decimal System is responsible for separating "fiction" from all other work and categorizing it by author's name. This has influenced the popular idea of fiction as a narrative that tends to be "untrue" and the product of an individual's fantasy, a bias compounded by modern art's century-long obsession with abstraction, surrealism and self-expression.“So...?”

My idea of fiction rests on the idea that art doesn't have to be factual to be a true reflection of our existence. Adam and Eve didn't have to exist as two individuals 700 generations ago for them to be true portraits of two human beings trying to work together.“And...?”

The Bible is a Fiction Corpus. It is a body of writing that isn't overly concerned with facts and yet its words carry weight. It was written by many different authors living in different places with different audiences in mind, yet everyone gleans something from it.“Right...”

In preparing my fiction corpus, I have striven to see the world through the eyes of others. Through the eyes of my Adams and Eves I hope that you too will glean some truth about our existence. At the very least you will learn some more about how one man can use the English language.“Ok.”

Who are you, Michal?

I'm just a guy who makes art. And if you're interested in making a solid investment in an aesthetic that supports our present and future welfare, then I will help you look for something that you can buy.“How...?”

Everybody makes. Everybody sells. Some people know how to protect their interests. Some better than others. Few people know how to listen. Listening to somebody means considering their interests as if they were your own. Going out and doing something to satisfy another person's interest is how we build a strong economy. Without a strong economy, democracy collapses.“And...?”

Buying 4Occupy is buying for democracy. Don't give your money to somebody who's ruining it. There's no such thing as cheap democracy, quick democracy, or easy democracy. There's good, solid, complete democracy and the tyranny of feudalism. Let's not mix the two. Let's not buy everything on the cheap. Let's not create another tyrant and enslave ourselves because it was easier not to think about what we were doing. Let's protect our interests. Let's listen.“Ok.”

Who's really behind this site?

Have you ever been to one of those post-it-yourself retail websites where there's a really attractive top-seller ready to give you tips on how you can be a top-seller too?“Uh...”

Have you ever been to a "job" interview where you sit in a line, walk through one door, get hired as a contractor and walk out another door, so that the other applicants don't realize that everyone's getting "hired" to work in the same market?“Maybe...”

The internet is full of people who are ready to exploit your ignorance. They are people who want to make money at the expense of our economy. They are cheats.“And...?”

I, Michal, am behind this site. Not some fat plutocrat exploiting my image. I like to do things the right way. I like to work with people who take the time to do things right.“Why...?”

I used to work for a company that didn't do things the right way. My labor was exploited because of mismanagement. That company was the United States Postal Service, an independent agency of the United States Government that is ultimately controlled by Congress. I'm mad because if the Federal Government can exploit labor, who is going to stop every other cheat from doing it?“Labor Unions...?”

Don't say labor unions. I went to my labor union and they did nothing. They ignored me because labor unions aren't democracies. Holding a free and fair election for a "representative" once in a blue moon does not equal people ruling. Democracy means open government. It means we the public need to accept the hard work. It's the only way to secure liberty and equality.“Ok.”

What's the difference between use and usage?

Definition-wise, not much. But the -age suffix is ultimately French in origin and with most things French, at least in American eyes, the immediate thought is that of something precious and arcane whose value should be judged very carefully. This is in contrast to the word France, which is associated with a beautiful place. Thus people in France or from France are beautiful, warm, kind people. Generous even. Unlike French people who suck. Unless you're frenching, in which case you're only sometimes sucking.“And...?”

Along those lines, usage means you're in bed. Use means you're just heavy petting. Also notice that common people, like common words, get used...whereas "proper" things make "appearances." Whether or not you are being exploited is a different story. Exploitation is what happens when somebody uses you or your property without listening to you. Listening is what happens when you consider another person's needs as if they were your own. You don't have to satisfy those needs. All you need to do is consider them. So many of us can't even do that.“So...?”

Help stop exploitation. Buy 4occupy. Buy a better world. Whether or not you feel you can afford to buy art, consider joining my protest. I want to guarantee every working man and every working mother on this planet a 15-day universal holiday. But I can't. Only we can do that. We have to work together. We have to accept the idea that everyone deserves time for himself and we need to build that time into a new kind of calendar. We have to give peace it's own day. We have to make love something you can't avoid. We have to make even the most miserly cold-hearted capitalist among us say that he cashed his check on Love Your Neighbor Day. There won't be any other way to say it once the Acceptance Calendar is widely adopted.“Ok.”

Back to Usage of Problem: Table of Contents

Problem, a morphological approach

I have yet to make a morphological analysis of the word problem.

That doesn't mean it's not high on my list.

Table of Frequency for the Word "Problem."
This table lists in descending order the total number of times that the word problemand any of its morphological derivations appears in the Fiction Corpus, along with a breakdown of frequency by title, the respective rank of each word in the complete list of all words in the Corpus, as calculated both densely and competitively, as well as the percent increase in frequency of the word over the frequency of the next lowest rank in the complete list.
Percent Increase over next rank	RANK		WORD	Frequency
	RANK			TOTAL # of occurences	MCDONALDS	JESUS	SEX	TSIGA	JACKSON	DINGBATS
	dense	competitive		TOTAL # of occurences	modern/sloppy	biblical/terse	poetic/high-brow	hard/fast	talky	mixed salad
-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-
I have yet to publish the table of frequency for the word problem, but I will get to it shortly. -Michal

Back to Usage of Problem: Table of Contents

Usage of Problem in Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind — A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #884

i told bieber to get back in the car. and to brace himself. i promised the old lady id fix her peeping lowes problem. bieber said .you mean me.

Chase Credit

5 August, 11:57 AM

Frame #2606

i should get to the station. bieber's father said the body is being picked up today. i can make sure there arent any problems.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

23 August, 11:35 AM

Frame #1556

its true though. lowes didnt look too good. a little pale. thats the problem with undercover cops. they dont get much sun. speaking of which.

Justin Bieber

13 August, 11:32 AM

Frame #4677

i told pandora to stay in the car. i dont need any more problems.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

11 October, 10:25 AM

Frame #4175

i could put a transmitter on expedia. in her jacket. but she has so many. or her shoes. same problem. her purse. shes got a few of those.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

29 September, 10:06 AM

Back to Usage of Problem: Table of Contents

Usage of Problem in The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars — An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

"It's a serious problem," she said - but she didn't seem so serious anymore.

– Verse 708 from the chapter called Bohemia

"No problem," said Jesus, and he closed the door and cried.

– Verse 664 from the chapter called Adolescence

Some people gave themselves problems. Alcohol was the chief method. For many people, alcoholism was only a symptom. For others, it was what could only be described as a strange and tragically unnecessary life choice. In Treblinka, there was a couple nicknamed the model marriage. Every afternoon, they were seen stumbling hand in hand with wide smiles on their faces. They were drunk, having spent the entire morning walking around town, asking for spare change. "Thirty cents," the woman begged. "That's all I need: for bread." Meanwhile, the man always went to the soup kitchen at the convent. "And one for my wife," he would say, smiling. Then, he would take the soup outside and sell it to some slightly richer man for loose change. Afterwards, the woman went. "One for my husband, too," she would say, smiling. Then, she would sell some slightly richer woman some soup. After a while, the nuns got wise. They began insisting on eating in: no take-out. The model marriage moved elsewhere, having lost their primary source of income.

– Verse 345 from the chapter called Adolescence

"The fucking military is collaborating - do you understand that? They're ready to shell the city - their own fucking city! Can you believe that? Instead of having the balls to go from house to house looking for those faggots, they're gonna drop shells! What the fuck is that? That's why they're trying to evacuate the Old Town. They're sayin', 'Leave your homes: go north.' They think if they evacuate Center City and Old Town by having all those people filter through the northern checkpoints, all they're gonna have left is terrorists. That's bullshit. Unless they say they're gonna shell it, not everyone's gonna leave. Not the old people, anyway: they're gonna sit at home until the radio says they're gonna drop shells - even then they're not gonna move. Anyway, who the fuck's gonna say that? That would be idiotic. That would be like saying, 'Hey, terrorists: wake up for the invasion' - so they can slip away? What the fuck is that? The only terrorist you can recognize is the one that's shooting at you. Otherwise, who the fuck is it? Nobody - it's somebody without papers - I don't know - somebody walkin' off with loot. All they gotta do is drop their weapons and voila: they melt away. It's fuckin' bullshit. It's not fuckin' fair is what it is - but that's life. That's business. Like you, you motherfuckin' pip-squeak: what the fuck is your problem, man? You have got balls to screw me up."

The car in front of us stopped.

– Verses 121-122 from the chapter called Arms

"That was a panic attack," your mother said.

"A panic attack? You get panic attacks, too?"

She nodded.

"How often?" I asked.

"Often enough."

"You've got problems, huh?"

She sighed.

"Why do you get panic attacks?"

– Verses 662-669 from the chapter called Bohemia

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Usage of Problem in Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed — A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

How could I talk to him about his problems without feeling like a snake-in-the-grass? Besides, engaging in a conversation like that was practically begging for trouble. Who knew what Albert would ask me? I was not prepared to lie. To put it bluntly, I was very afraid of him. I was even more afraid of Indiana. In fact, I was afraid of any sort of situation where my ignorance could be exploited, and, as far as I knew, that included every situation.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 4, The Fourth Day, Part 2, The Assembly & Government Reform, Section 6, Being Obedient, Paragraph 4

NIKE: Don't worry about it, Rothko. I've got everything figured out. If this woman's a nun, like I think she might be, then she has friends from different orders; or, maybe, she has heirlooms - who knows? Anyway: I've mapped out all the convents west of the river. I know where all the Carmelites hang out. I know exactly where the heaviest concentrations of penguins are in the whole damn area...and goddamn it: Rothko! I'm doing my community service - so help me - smack dab in the middle!

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 6, The Sixth Day, Part 1, Children & Education Reform, Section 5, Talking Through A Problem With A Friend, Paragraph 48

ANDY: It's living space. And we kill for it, unfortunately. So I think we'll have more space in heaven. Although I hope we don't have a problem with gravity. Because in this world, if our planet were any bigger, we'd all be very fat - or, at least, we'd think so, because we'd feel so heavy. And I suppose if heaven is what it's cracked up to be, we're all going to feel as light as feathers.

OLYMP: What is gravity?

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 6, The Sixth Day, Part 1, Children & Education Reform, Section 2, Discussing Heaven with a Child, Paragraphs 28-29

"Hey Nike," quoth he. "I was wondering..." But Nike was almost unconscious. "Hey Nike, wake up," said Luka, and putting the pipe down on the passenger seat he reached into the back and slapped his quarry's knee. "Huh? What is i... Whaddaya wa..." Luka slapped him again. "What?" came the response, but this one was only reflex: Nike was not really ready to listen. "I was wondering," said Luka. "I have this problem. I need some cash for tomorrow. I need around a thousand Euro. Nike, are you listening? I need to borrow a thousand Euro. Hey! Nike!"

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 2, The Second Day, Part 1, Labor & Economic Reform, Section 23, The Effects of Poverty, Paragraph 6

NIKE: Because no matter who she is, why would she admit that she was walking around half-naked? Why would she say that she was never wearing a tunic? She's hiding that.

INDIE: Alright, but Nike: the police can check her out. They know whether she's a nun or not.

NIKE: And so what?

INDIE: So if they know she's not a nun, why would they think that she's some random woman who likes to dress up in a veil? I mean, it's absurd.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 6, The Sixth Day, Part 1, Children & Education Reform, Section 5, Talking Through A Problem With A Friend, Paragraphs 36-39

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Usage of Problem in Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla — A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

"What am I going to do?" thought Shephard. He looked around. There was a man tanking a sedan. He was too close to the humvee-there was no time to find keys. A guy in a truck-too far away-too ready to drive off. A car pulled in-behind him, a young man on a motorcycle. Shephard recognized him. It was the man from the accident.

Shephard took another look around the corner. Clark was coming out of the station. A man in a tight uniform was next to him. He was escorting Clark to the humvee.

– from “Two Dudes and a Chinese Desert,” a friendship story about how certain rich countries have problems understanding other countries

The policeman was getting agitated. He wanted the money. Clark told him there would be no problem getting it. Shephard was reminded about the motorcycle. He assured the officer he would return it. The policeman frowned. "I have no idea what's going on here," he said. "I don't want to know. Just get me my money."

The truck arrived. Shephard wanted to put the motorcycle in the back. The bed was full of adult toys. "Sorry," said Coke. "You told me you only needed a tow."

– from “Two Dudes and a Chinese Desert,” a friendship story featuring people trying to make money

She was the type of girl his mother would want him to marry. She was rich, sophisticated, charming, articulate, white, Protestant, not to mention sexually adventurous. It didn't matter she was in her forties. The problem was she was already married.

"You're what?" asked Junior, panting.

– from “A Horse Named Clutch Bag,” an inspiring story featuring a man with a mean mother

She looked outside. Neal was nowhere. Tatum realized he had collapsed. She would have to open the door for him. She tried to put on the helmet. It wouldn't lock. The door had bent it out of shape. Tatum panicked. She couldn't go outside without her helmet. She would pass out. She could break the seal. Air from the access tower would protect her.

– from “Dirty Manga People Are Disgusting,” a spooky story about a moon colony with a problem

"A Bantu woman," thought Junior, "in my company. She must be worthwhile." He checked the department listing. She was a secretary for Ann Taylor. That was going to be a problem. Ann was the most successful woman in the history of the company. She worked for the general commercial manager, Randall G. Fitzwater III.

– from “A Horse Named Clutch Bag,” an inspiring story featuring a frank discussion of cruelty to animals

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Usage of Problem in Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall — A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

(LESBIAN enters carrying the heirloom pincushion.)

LESBIAN: I still don't know how you could have mistaken me for your wife. It seems pretty strange.

LUKE: Let's just say that sometimes I'm in a wee bit of a rush. Do you know what I mean?

LESBIAN: Regrettably, I think I do.

LUKE: Life isn't always like playing football. I'm like Kokomo: I burned the money.

LESBIAN: What do you mean?

LUKE: After her problems on American Samoa.

LESBIAN: She was on American Samoa?

LUKE: You didn't know that?

LESBIAN: No.

– ACT II, lines 565-573

(FLETCHER exits.)

ALICE: Boy problems?

KOKOMO: It's nothing.

ALICE: Is he being bashful?

KOKOMO: It's slightly more complicated than that, but I suppose.

ALICE: Boys are always bashful around girls they like. They're even worse when they're in love. It doesn't matter how bold they think they are with village flirts. When they're with a girl they really care about, they're either too coy or too serious.

– ACT I, lines 1364-1368

MS. JACKSON: You must be falling asleep after such a long day.

FLETCHER: Mother.

LESBIAN: I can barely keep my eyes open.

FLETCHER: Excuse me.

MS. JACKSON: That's a problem.

LESBIAN: Why?

MS. JACKSON: The laundry's not done. I'll have to take fresh sheets from the sofa bed.

LESBIAN: Don't bother. I'll sleep in here for now.

MS. JACKSON: Are you sure?

LESBIAN: It'll only be for a nap.

– ACT II, lines 262-271

ALICE: Did somebody die?

FLETCHER: Don't ask.

ALICE: Yes.

FLETCHER: Even if your husband had died?

ALICE: It would.

FLETCHER: I've been wanting to confess this for so long. The island makes it hard. Who would have understood me if I had spoken? My mother? I pay my penance every time I hear her cry. She has no idea what part I played in that fire. I can't help feeling that, if I had stopped it, this family would never have had the problems it's had. Nobody died in that fire except for me. It was my own soul burning. As far as the house is concerned, restitution's been made. As for me, who would not find my weakness and ignore it? for the sake of convenience if not for shame. Who would restore my strength from the ashes?

ALICE: Let it be me. I will restore you.

FLETCHER: This is why I've been pursuing you. I knew you'd never give in to me. I saw your strength the moment you arrived: its grace: its beauty. I fell in love with it. I desired it - not for myself, but for its ability to release me from this guilt.

ALICE: Let me release you, Fletcher Christian. I will make you whole again.

FLETCHER: You will forgive me my crime?

– ACT II, lines 184-193

MS. JACKSON: I've been very happy with your service. You've become absolutely indispensable to this venture. Should you choose to continue with me far into the future, I would be most grateful. I already consider you a part of the family. If you should ever have the desire and the opportunity and the willingness to formalize that relationship - sacramentally speaking - I mean that in the fullest sense of the term - even if that requires a certain individual to confirm himself into the Catholic faith - I want you to know that you would enjoy my full support. I mean, namely, that, if one should be so lucky to have you for - I mean, if I should be so lucky to have - that is, I suspect you would find me a better mother-in-law than you have an employer. It's not that I pry. I've realized that - I'm not completely off the mark, am I?

KOKOMO: No. I simply never imagined I was so-

MS. JACKSON: Clearly it took me a while to - anyway: that's that.

KOKOMO: Thank you.

MS. JACKSON: It's incredible how much you remind me of me when I was your age. I too was filled with confidence. My family recognized my strength and valued it. I consider it my duty to strengthen others. May I confide in you?

KOKOMO: Yes.

MS. JACKSON: What I want to tell you isn't easy for me to describe. You have a right to know. I became pregnant with Fletcher before I was married. It took pressure, if not outright coercion, before Grey Goose finally agreed to wed - even though he had always talked about it as if it were a sure thing. I've never understood why it had to be like that, but I feel it's been at the root of most of the problems we've had. I just wanted you to know so that you could be careful.

KOKOMO: Thank you. I can't imagine how hard it must have been.

MS. JACKSON: Indeed. You see how long the pain can last. Be wary, child. Do not commit the same mistake I did.

KOKOMO: I won't.

– ACT II, lines 14-23

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Usage of Problem in Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats — A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

Nobody had to be bribed. There was no brain-washing. To all those people who changed their minds. You can't take it back. You can't say he's a hero one day and decide the next day you were wrong. That's not fair. Especially when nothing's changed. Except the fact that I'm not today's hero. I'm yesterday's hero. And the war is back on. That's why they curse me. Cause I'm not all-powerful. I'm not the one solution to all their problems. People are capricious.

– from “The Testament of Publio Orazio,” a horror story based on family values coming straight out of Roman mythology

The skirt on the proctor was distracting. It was too tight. Her sheer stockings weren't helping either. Her face did leave something to be desired. She suddenly looked up. Sir Lewis averted his eyes. He tried to concentrate. Five minutes remaining on the clock and one problem left unsolved.

– from “The Skirt on the Proctor,” a kid story about the romantic struggle we all face

"Seven," countered Sir Lewis.

"Two," said Miss Day.

"Ten," said Sir Lewis.

It was agreed. Shortly afterwards Miss Day was chosen to proctor. Sir Lewis begged her not to wear a skirt. "Anything but a skirt," he said.

– from “The Skirt on the Proctor,” a kid story about solving problems in an unforgiving world

Orbitz typed. "Show me the log." A list of all actions aboard ship appeared. Orbitz immediately saw the problem. Between his last depature and return the log had recorded three authorized entries. Somebody was on board. Orbitz typed, "Who came onto the ship?"

Marriott took an even longer moment to respond. "You did," she wrote. Something was wrong.

– from “The Death and Life of Captain Orbitz,” a science fiction romance based on my affection for Stanislaw Lem, if you know who that is

Captain Orbitz came from a long line of distinguished galactic luminaries. His father and his brother had been martyred in a great battle against the forces of Scutum-Centauris. His grandfather was a delagate to the Grand Orion Council from the planet Vancouver. His lineage went all the way to one of the leaders of the original humanoid slave revolt. He was sacrosanct. When his name was red-flagged at the security bureau it was summarily dismissed as an error. It was red-flagged again. And again. Somebody by the name of Rishi Keplar Jorgen Tycho Kalvinicus Orbitz was having associations with the outlawed Wiki-en Society. People went crazy. They wanted him arrested. They wanted him interrogated. There was only one problem. Orbitz was on assignment. He was the second longest-serving courier in the Alliance. He was traversing a wormhole.

– from “The Death and Life of Captain Orbitz,” a science fiction romance inspired by Stanislaw Lem, if you know who that is

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Collocation of Problem in the Fiction Corpus

Table of Collocation for the Word "Problem."
This table lists in descending order of frequency a selection of word pairs that appear in the Fiction Corpus and groups them according to the morphological derivation of the word problem that appears in the pair.
Type	Frequency
	TOTAL # of occurences	MCDONALDS	JESUS	SEX	TSIGA	JACKSON	DINGBATS
	TOTAL # of occurences	modern/sloppy	biblical/terse	poetic/high-brow	hard/fast	talky	mixed salad
-	-	-	-	-	-	-	-
I have yet to perform a collocation analysis of "problem." I hope I can get it done sometime soon. -Michal