Michal's HeadlinesGun

Michal presents 4Occupy, an online art gallery and culture blog

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Sauna Cezar

Bielsko-Biala, Poland

Photographs by Michal Slaby
A map showing Bielsko-Biala's position within Silesia
Bielsko-Biała lies in the corner of Silesia
Margo behind a tree

Gun, a cultural introduction

Getting to know the word from all angles...

Michal refuses to study the viability of compounding his wonderful Fiction Corpus with some true friendship stories; cites fatigueDictionary icon

I can't challenge the possibility of using English as everybody's second language. I don't regard highly the certifiably commonplace blueprint with which English is taught.Pointer

Boosting a person's skill with a language isn't like introducing a larger dome. A language - a common tongue - isn't just an instrument that you can learn to manipulate with a greater amount of precision. A language can't be disconnected from the professed knowledge of a community of which it is a description. A language isn't recited; it happens - and keeps happening as long as a circle of people keeps using it.

To make a person recite English is to cheat her out of its cultural context. A capable teacher has to find a way to introduce it; the discerning student goes out to seek it.

A dictionary - properly used - can become an influential tool. A decent dictionary will describe words on the basis of a specific corpus, a body of written language of varying size and consistency. A corpus might contain anything from a book about literature to some scary ghost stories. I lost many a sleepless night forging my "proud" Fiction Corpus to form a special kind of dictionary based on the ability of one man to tell a story in myriad forms. It is a labor of love and listening.

I have drafted a million words and I have cut them down, reformulating them - not merely to teach a language but to reveal the human soul, and to encourage that spirit or soul not just to recite but to happen.

Michal's Dictionary Navigation

A Learner's Dictionary: Common Words in EnglishPointer

A Fetish is the Common Word that Answers the Question, "Why?"

The most frequently used words in Michal's Corpus that represent common fetishes

Help End Hate Crime With ArtOne of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe.

Strength and dignity are her clothing...

Proverbs 31:25

Author's Note: I have been enjoined from sharing the details of my true romance adventure until such time that the other party is prepared to present her perspective on the affair arrangement...Pointer

Europe, the summer of 2011. Twelve countries. 46 days. One car. One tent. One man. One woman he's just met.

Though as an artist I had been working on body acceptance since the start of my career, and as a one-time practicing figure model was used to being nude in a social setting, I had been left largely unexposed to the community of naturists and nudists working towards the same goal of promoting the human being. Visiting nude beaches and resorts along the East Coast and participating in events organized around New York by Young Naturists America, I was left hungry for more and had come to Europe to see things from their side of the pond. Margo was my introduction.

I had an American passport. She didn't. And the fact that I was driving a car with Polish license plates gave her ample opportunity to point out the difference. It wasn't just police and border guards who ethnically profiled me. Regular folks did it too. One campsite owner didn't shake my hand until he realized I was an American. By that point, I had trained myself to use a simplified English, something that more closely resembled what passes for a lingua franca in Europe these days. Something Margo was trying very hard to master.

Margo and I spent over 40 days on the road. We started out as basically strangers, but in those 40 days we started listening to each other. We started teaching ourselves how to cooperate. Our journey across Europe may have ended, but our journey towards each other continues. No amount of fear, anger, sadness, disgust or anticipation can stop hope. Slowly but surely, we're learning how to beat the devils that abuse us.

One of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe.

6,000 miles across Europe with a complete stranger

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Day 16
8/4/2011
 15༛25/24

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Camping Club Léman

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Préverenges, Switzerland

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THE DISAPPEARING WOMAN, THE DISAPPEARING MAN...Pointer

a collection of modern art prints and posters

During our trip across Europe, Margo very bravely opened up to me and to the camera. It was a difficult thing to do considering the scars that she carries. I wanted to share with the world her often joyful, often sad, often angry but always liberating experience except that the Internet is full of pictures of naked women and men and full of trolls who abuse them.

I realized that what I really need to point out is not the openness that Margo and I cultivated between ourselves, but the darkness that continues to surround us. When I censor nudity, I do so in a way that does not compromise the integrity of the human body. In censoring the photographs that Margo and I took during our trip, I was quick to notice that in those pictures where Margo was at her most open, at her most unguarded and most relaxed, in a word, when she was herself and basking in the sun I was forced to blacken her completely.

Why does our society drive people into darkness? Why can we not accept ourselves as we are? Why can we not accept our bodies? Have we truly become eunuchs? Or are we capable of defying the sickness that pits us against each other? Together we could conquer the devils that abuse us.

Whether you enjoy being nude or not, whether you've been photographed nude or not, but especially if, for you, like for Margo, it's something you never thought you would do, consider submitting your own photograph to be published in a censored manner as a form of protest against the ubiquitous presence of the human body on the internet, naked or not, that is published and duplicated ad infinitum without context and without regard for the identity or the needs of the individual being depicted.

Michal's Dictionary:
Understanding the word Gun

A word can represent many things. First and foremost it represents a type of gesture. A specific way of speaking. A specific way of inscribing a mark. A specific way of moving your hand. To know one of these kinds of gestures is to know how to pronounce the word gun in some kind of way.

If you want to communicate an idea using the word gun, you will need to know what other people are made to think when you make the gesture. You will never have complete awareness of or control over the associations or identities that are invoked by a set of words, but you can know what was and what is a single word's jointly accepted definition, at least for a given place, thereby tracing a direction which will help you to understand what kinds of associations and identities are driving its use.

By using the word yourself, you enter into a long-standing albeit oftentimes unconscious debate over its definition, forever entangling yourself into the history of its use. The way you use it, and which other words you use it with carries weight.

The more you know about where the word gun is located in the fabric of a language, the better you will be at exploiting its cultural power.

Pronunciation of GunMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the word gun.

Video of me pronouncing "gun."

Definition of GunMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish the definition of gun.

I'm sure it won't take too long.

Common use of gun in illustrative example sentencesMargo on a trampoline

  1. I'd rather die with a gun in my hand.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  2. The bullets that killed him came from this gun.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  3. I have yet to come up with a third sentence using the word gun.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  4. I have yet to come up with a fourth sentence using the word gun.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  5. I have yet to come up with a fifth sentence using the word gun.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  6. I have yet to come up with a sixth sentence using the word gun.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  7. I have yet to come up with a seventh sentence using the word gun.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:

Usage of Gun in Michal's Fiction CorpusMargo on a trampoline

An image of young Michal sitting on a potty in front of a typewriter

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

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Gun, a morphological approach

I have yet to make a morphological analysis of the word gun.

That doesn't mean it's not high on my list.

Table of Frequency for the Word "Gun."

This table lists in descending order the total number of times that the word gunand any of its morphological derivations appears in the Fiction Corpus, along with a breakdown of frequency by title, the respective rank of each word in the complete list of all words in the Corpus, as calculated both densely and competitively, as well as the percent increase in frequency of the word over the frequency of the next lowest rank in the complete list.

Margo stretching her arms
Percent Increase over next rankRANKWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
densecompetitivemodern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
-----------
I have yet to publish the table of frequency for the word gun, but I will get to it shortly. -Michal

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Usage of Gun in Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind

A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #5680

the barge is crowded. between all the empty containers and the kids with guns. i dont think they even know how to use them.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

6 December, 7:27 AM

Frame #5133

i got coffee. i told the o.i.c. im not answering questions until i get my gun and the duffel bag. its evidence in a murder investigation.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

8 November, 9:02 PM

Frame #4216

all of a sudden im not sure i want to get on board the wells fargo. guns dont scream for help. sometimes women do. with bad consequences.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

29 September, 2:45 PM

Frame #6172

im on modjeska street. i see the boat. it looks like a medium.sized inflatable. people are climbing aboard. men with guns.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

23 December, 8:07 AM

Frame #4712

the word on the street is that a mexican rented out the theatre for a gun show. his guests are claiming they were fired upon first.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

11 October, 12:42 PM

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Usage of Gun in The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars

An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

"The young girl was frightened. 'If I let you lick my hand,' she said, 'my skin will burn.'

"'So it shall,' said the Wolf, 'but that, dear girl, is the price of truth.'

"'So be it,' she said. She held out her hand and the Wolf licked it.

"'You lie,' said the girl. 'It does not burn.'

"'I haven't yet told you the truth,' said the Wolf. 'The truth is: I did not kill your parents. I tried to warn them. They were lost in the fog, and your father, in his blindness, had led your mother to the side of a dangerous cliff. I tried to scare them away. I howled, but to no avail. Your father was too brave. He told your mother to stay by the side of the cliff while he took his gun and followed me. When he came back, he found your mother dead: a rock had fallen on her head. He took her back to your grandfather, but when he saw his daughter dead, he blamed your father for it. He locked him away, and took you from your crib.'

Verse 185-189 from the chapter called Childhood

"So there's army intelligence all over the place - that's what. You've got a gun - don't worry about it. Hide your face on the way in. Now get out."

Verse 264 from the chapter called Arms

These things didn't really concern Jesus; they were perceptions that reflected people's insecurities. Jesus had his own problems: that fateful night, while loading arms from his uncle's back room, Baron Cohen-Krupnik showed up in his electric truck. Efforts to capture him were complicated by Jesus's desire to capture this valuable asset (the truck), which he did (intact), but only after having Stalin chase it halfway around Center City (on foot), by which point, although the battery was dead and the truck's driver was forced to proceed on foot, Stalin's own battery was well out of range: he was so tired, he could barely lift his gun. Ironically, the Krupnik disappeared around St. Jesus's Church.

Verse 418 from the chapter called Arms

I know the lure of success. I feel the pressures of domination. That farmer who sows rye in every field is not a victim. Nor is he some kind of scab. He is a player in a game with no teams, and he deserves no one's pity or awe or respect any more than the rest of us do. Your father always had to win. He would go and cry if he lost - every time. Once, your great-grandfather held a race for the boys and girls. Jesus was distracted for some reason; he missed the starting gun. His first reaction, unfortunately, was to complain. Realizing that the race had already started and wasn't going to be stopped, Jesus went for it. He went as fast as a young boy could, just so he wouldn't have to bear the shame of coming in dead last. He was beaten by a girl. She received first prize and Jesus received second. He was infuriated. Second prize was obviously inferior - too inferior. First prize was an electronic game system. Second prize was a fancy pencil sharpener. Jesus went and cried, not realizing that the prizes were personal: they were designated. Nor did he realize that the girl's family was rich, and his family was, in comparison, very poor.

Verse 150 from the chapter called Childhood

Jesus had no idea what he was getting into. When he used his keys to open that back door to his uncle's former place of business, there was no way of knowing exactly what lay in store. Clothes? Possibly. Heroin? Doubtful. Arms? Never to be imagined. But there they were, in brilliant rows of polished black: thirty caliber bolt-action self-loading magazine-fed repeating rifles with twenty-five inch barrels and removable scopes! Eight-round clips all over the place! Twenty-two caliber pistonless gas-operated assault rifles with selective fire! Thirty-round curved box magazines all over the place! Even thirty-five caliber blowback-operated machine carbines with telescoping bolts! Fifty-round clips all over the place! Thirty caliber twenty-one pound light machine guns with retractable bipods! Belts of ammunition everywhere! A fifty fucking caliber air-cooled heavy machine gun mounted on a tripod! Christ Buddha! White phosphorus hand grenades - fragmentation, smoke, incendiary - small-arm grenade rounds, grenade launchers, launcher attachments, mortars, rocket launchers, rockets and bombs.

Verse 12 from the chapter called Arms

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Usage of Gun in Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed

A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

She was, and remains, a woman of modest beauty. Her soul's modesty flows naturally into her body and her mind. Therefore I never suspected her innocence; it is for this reason that I have come to love her. Indeed, the circumstances of this early acquaintance involved a strange kind of love; for in those days, I was uncommonly infatuated, not with her person, or her body for that matter, but strangely enough, with her hair. I simply envied it; from every angle, under every light, with every cut she ever possessed from short to long, I was keenly aware of its brilliance. I wish I could objectively say it was exceptional, but my excitement was largely due to my fascination with the color burgundy.

– Title 1, Regarding Peaches and Bananas, Part 2, Section 6, Third Party Intervention, Paragraph 1, Clauses 4-10

You remember, dear brother, when you first met Indiana: we were fourteen years old on Lake Ontario, staying in a burgundy-colored house. Our cousin was teaching us how to play croquet, and you: you were already winning. I remember her getting very annoyed, but I was detached: too busy singing that song- the one about summer waiting for us to enjoy it - although by singing I mean repeating the chorus over and over again, since I couldn't remember any of the verses. Up the small hill, our mothers were lounging in the shade of a tall willow tree. It was very cold in the shade; it was very cold for summer - so when our cousin purposely hit the ball straight into the lake, you were the only volunteer.

– Title 2, Regarding the Romaniac, Part 1, Section 1, Genital Pain as a Result of Physical Trauma, Paragraph 1

I stopped. I was in the middle. I could see between the front seats. There was something coming at me. Terror gripped me. It passed. I realized it was the road bathed in the low light of headlamps. We were moving down its path. I was grateful. It was piercing the darkness. Who was at the wheel? All I could see was the dashboard. It was smooth. It was finite. It seemed to be made of wood. It was burgundy. From the backseat, I suddenly felt its hardness. It was frightening me. Just as suddenly, I was soothed by the smoothness.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 2, The Second Day, Part 1, Labor & Economic Reform, Section 19, Interpreting Religious Symbols, Paragraph 4

She thought they were going to help her but they helped themselves to her purse. It's not always so easy, though: three men were robbed at gunpoint not far from here. You would never expect it, because it's such a nice place. Well, after I heard those stories, whenever I'd walk up and down this street late at night, and a car was passing, I would pretend to be entering the next townhouse. Nothing ever happened to me though; I'm not afraid; I'll walk you as far as you're going."

– Title 1, Regarding Peaches and Bananas, Part 2, Section 10, Exercising Chastity, Paragraph 3, Clauses 9-14

I noticed the color of the blanket. I asked her what she thought the color was called. She said it was burgundy. I said, "Yes, that's what I was thinking, but I'm never sure of myself. It's such a strange name for a color, don't you think? It's kind of reddish-brown, like mahogany - but that's named after a tree, so we know exactly what kind of color it is, because of its wood. But Burgundy is a region in France. I don't understand why we've named a color after it - especially when that color seems to be sometimes more grayish than mahogany, but sometimes more like purple. It's a very tricky color. I suppose that's what Burgundy was like. I seem to remember it was always a very tricky region. The Burgundians were some sort of...different Germanic tribe. They were...Arians or something like that. Weren't they the ones who gave Joan of Arc to the English?"

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 7, The Seventh Day, Part 1, Strength & Security Sector Reform, Section 1, Spending the Night with a Lover, Paragraph 3

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Usage of Gun in Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla

A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

"Where's Sergeant Kline?" asked Patsy, returning the gun.

"Detaining the other one."

– from “A Cop Named Patsy,” a funny story featuring an honest cop

The man obeyed. The helmet came off his head. Tatum was not surprised. It was Uzumaki.

"I came as soon as I lost your signal."

"You've been tracking me."

Uzumaki motioned towards the body. "Is he dead?" Tatum nodded. "It's better that way."

"Start talking."

"The woman and the child: are they safe?"

"You should be more concerned with this gun."

"I apologize, Ms. Read. This was bad luck."

– from “Dirty Manga People Are Disgusting,” a spooky story featuring a lesbian detective

The officer pulled Clark out by his arm. Holding him close, he lowered his gun. Shephard crept forward. He asked Clark if he were alright.

"It's my pants I'm worried about. They'll never be clean again."

– from “Two Dudes and a Chinese Desert,” a friendship story featuring a frank discussion of what to do with a smelly camel

Shephard looked around. Pepsi held the policeman's pistol-her arms stretched out, a look of unmitigated shock plastered on her face. Everybody held his breath. After a moment, the policeman took back the gun.

Shephard murmured, "Nice shot."

– from “Two Dudes and a Chinese Desert,” a friendship story featuring a lot of sand

"Don't be gullible. You think they don't have a tap on me?"

"Do you want to be embarrassed or dead?" Clark took out the phone. He decided to call his sister. "Tell her," said Shephard, "we were being chased by a gun-toting imam."

– from “Two Dudes and a Chinese Desert,” a friendship story set in the desert

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Usage of Gun in Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall

A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

FLETCHER: Trouble. The Tahitians were already upset. They hadn't been given any land when the island was divided, not to mention the fact that some of them were being beaten. Naturally, they started plotting. What they didn't take into account was the fact that To-ofa-iti, the blacksmith's new wife, was not complaining. The blacksmith was important. That made her important. She started singing a song, the words of which went, "Why does black man sharpen axe? To kill white man." When Fletcher Christian heard that song, he grabbed his musket, ran to the Tahitians, charged them with their crime, and pulled the trigger. The gun misfired. Two of the men ran; the rest protested their innocence. They begged for a chance to take care of it. They decided they should try to poison To-ofa-iti's husband. He didn't fall for it. He was too smart. Ultimately, one of the Tahitian men pulled a pistol on him in the presence of his wife. Again, the gun misfired. The two of them started grappling on the ground. Who knows who would've won? To-ofa-iti, however, was not about to take chances. She picked up the pistol with her own two hands and bopped her husband squarely on the head.

ALICE: She killed him?

FLETCHER: Eventually. Things were deceptively quiet for a few weeks. It didn't take long for judgment to fall upon the poor blacksmith. The Tahitians shot him down like a pig. Ironically, that's what the other mutineers thought they were doing. Being scattered all over the island, each man heard the shots and naturally assumed that somebody was hunting. Most of them found out too late that they were the prey.

ALICE: How many of them were killed?

FLETCHER: On that day, now known as Massacre Day, five of the original nine mutineers were fatally shot. Fletcher Christian was next. He was standing in his garden. Both of his hands were on his spade. He looked up at the sky and smiled. He never saw it coming. They shot him right through the heart.

ALICE: How did the others survive?

FLETCHER: Jackson was shot through the neck but he lived.

ALICE: Incredible.

FLETCHER: It's a miracle. Ned Young slept through the whole thing. The women didn't want to wake him. They all liked him and they didn't want to see him get hurt, so they stood around his hut and guarded him. Eventually, though, even he had to get his hands dirty. The women wanted revenge on the Tahitians for killing their husbands. After Ned's consort chopped off the ringleader's head with an axe, he was made to go and shoot the last remaining rebel. That was the end of the bloodshed - not counting when he and Jackson got Quintal drunk and murdered him.

ALICE: It's so barbaric.

– ACT I, lines 616-625

FLETCHER: It was tough. They didn't have many farming tools. In fact, all they had was a broken shovel. They did have some hammers and some crowbars. They used that to bore a hole through a rock. They put their gunpowder inside and blasted themselves a cistern. They were lucky that the ship's armorer was part of their crew. He could use the ship's bellows and the anvil to make new tools. Unfortunately, soon after they got there, his Tahitian consort fell from a cliff and died - apparently while she was gathering birds' eggs. It didn't take long before he was threatening to leave unless they allowed him to take one of the Tahitian men's wives. Nobody was very happy about that, but he was the blacksmith. They couldn't afford to lose him.

– ACT I, line 612

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Usage of Gun in Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats

A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

"Please," said Proctor. "I don't know what's going on. It has nothing to do with me. I swear. If you leave me I won't be able to protect you. It'll drive me crazy." Elizabeth wasn't listening. She started climbing into the cab. Proctor stopped her. "Take this," he said. He offered her a gun. She took it.

– from “We Need To Talk,” a mystery story featuring a life model put in a weird position

I guess you can blame the fact that we were two sets of triplets, you know. People thought that was like a sacred thing. A sign from God. Two sets of triplets on opposite sides of the war. Who better to sort out the whole thing. Make it easy. What do they call it. A trial by fire. Fire from our guns. I thought it was an idea. I don't know. It made sense.

– from “The Testament of Publio Orazio,” a horror story without a lot of screaming coming straight out of Roman mythology

Proctor put back the letter. It didn't mention his name. He looked around. The wall was gleaming. He went to it. He touched it. Wet paint. He looked around. There were specks of red on the floor. Blood. There were more specks. Leading towards a door. Proctor pulled his gun. He went to the door. He opened it. A bathroom. Proctor turned on the light. A body in the tub. Floating in a pool of red. John's husband.

– from “We Need To Talk,” a mystery story featuring an artist's model put in a weird position

Proctor tried to reach Elizabeth. She wasn't picking up. Neither was her sister. He kept trying. He walked all the way home. He went straight to the parlor where he kept his gun. He opened the drawer. It was empty. He heard the hammer cocking back. It was next to his head.

"Looking for this?" asked Bob.

– from “We Need To Talk,” a mystery story featuring a former flame put in a weird position

Problems arose when a new development was begun at the western end of Profile at Login Road. That particular section of Login had fallen under the purview of City Rural Route 15 as the result of a union grievance involving guaranteed work-hours. Never mind that the rest of City Rural Route 15 was ten miles away.

– from “Wrong Again,” a success story that isn't factual and yet is true, since the details are fictional

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Collocation of Gun in the Fiction Corpus

Table of Collocation for the Word "Gun."

This table lists in descending order of frequency a selection of word pairs that appear in the Fiction Corpus and groups them according to the morphological derivation of the word gun that appears in the pair.

TypeWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
modern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
--------
I have yet to perform a collocation analysis of "gun." I hope I can get it done sometime soon. -Michal

Love is the answer...

What are we waiting for? Let's accept it!

Are you a eunuch?

The art show that defies abuse

The Body Acceptance Calendar

A really good idea for a monthly calendar

If a 45-year-old businesswoman and hard working mother of three kids is going to pose nude for a calendar, it's gonna have to be a good one. Margo didn't start a coffee shop called the Vagina Cafe to win her favors from the establishment. Even as she dishes out prizes to the 20 women who placed last in the twentienth anniversary run of her town's biggest road race, her business, unlike everyone else, doesn't get mentioned. She was an official sponsor for Christ's sake! But the announcer just couldn't swallow his patriarchy and get the words "Vagina Cafe" out of his mouth. That's not something a proper gentleman would say in front of a crowd of humble God-fearing "ladies" who cherish their modesty! And a Body Acceptance Calendar is certainly not what a humble God-fearing book-seller like a Barnes and Noble would put on their shelves! So how do I expect to sell this in the mainstream? Maybe if you download the free versions a thousand billion times it might help. Start downloading.

A miniature portrait of MichalMargo at the beach

Your help keeps the "Gun" page up and running...

If you love women and art...

Michal is exporting art...is he nutty?

Michal's Sales Pitch
Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts

  1. T-shirt fundraiser for sale

    Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser for sale.

    Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed. Pointer

    From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  2. Felt handbag for sale

    Handcrafted felt handbag for sale.

    Felt bag by Dorota. Pointer

    Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  3. Decorative collar for sale

    Handcrafted decorative collar for sale.

    Decorative collar by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  4. Seamless handbag for sale

    Handcrafted seamless handbag for sale.

    Handbag by Sylwia. Pointer

    Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  5. Patchwork quilt for sale

    Handcrafted patchwork quilt for sale.

    Patchwork quilt by Alicja. Pointer

    Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  6. Nuno-felt shawl for sale

    Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl for sale.

    Shawl by Sylwia. Pointer

    Scarf made ​​with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  7. Clara the doll for sale

    Handcrafted clara the doll for sale.

    Clara by Alicja. Pointer

    Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  8. Noah the doll for sale

    Handcrafted noah the doll for sale.

    Noah by Alicja. Pointer

    Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  9. Black suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted black suspenders for sale.

    Black suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  10. Orange suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted orange suspenders for sale.

    Orange suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  11. Green suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted green suspenders for sale.

    Green suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  12. Felt earrings for sale

    Handcrafted felt earrings for sale.

    Felt earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  13. Round ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted round ceramic earrings for sale.

    Round ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  14. Oblong ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings for sale.

    Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  15. 'Coral' necklace for sale

    Handcrafted 'coral' necklace for sale.

    Corals by Sylwia. Pointer

    Necklace made ​​of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser
Handcrafted felt handbag
Handcrafted decorative collar
Handcrafted seamless handbag
Handcrafted patchwork quilt
Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl
Handcrafted clara the doll
Handcrafted noah the doll
Handcrafted black suspenders
Handcrafted orange suspenders
Handcrafted green suspenders
Handcrafted felt earrings
Handcrafted round ceramic earrings
Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings
Handcrafted 'coral' necklace