Michal's HeadlinesChild

Michal presents 4Occupy, an online art gallery and culture blog

Bridging the 7 Pillars of Culture for All Mankind...click & drag the logo to share this page

The answer to your needs...

If you need a glaze hardener or binder...

A miniature portrait of MichalMichal Recommends:

VEEGUM(r) and VAN GEL(r)

natural clays by RT Vanderbilt

from VEEGUM(r)/VAN GEL(r) The Story
A map showing R.T. Vanderbilt's mines and processing plants in the western United Sates
Clay ores mined in Nevada, Arizona & California
Margo behind a tree

Child, a cultural introduction

Getting to know the word from all angles...

Michal dismisses the feasibility of amplifying his king-sized Fiction Corpus with a narrative history of everyday fiction; cites fatigueDictionary icon

I accept the prospect of legislating English as everyone's second language. I do challenge the unsensational scheme by which the English tongue is taught.Pointer

Beefing up one's adeptness with a language isn't like making a more comfortable bed. A language - a common tongue - isn't merely a tool that you can learn to employ with greater amounts of precision. A language can't be pulled from the philosophical currents of a circle of people of which it is a description. A language isn't recited; it happens - and keeps happening as long as a circle of people keeps using it.

Teaching a person to recite English is to rob him of its cultural context. A worthy teacher has to develop a strategy for introducing it; the bravest student goes out to seek it.

A dictionary - properly used - can become an influential tool. A decent dictionary will define a language on the basis of a particular corpus, a set of writing of various scope and consistency. A corpus might include everything from a book about literature to some true stories. I suffered many a sleepless night forging my "gallant" Fiction Corpus to form a new kind of dictionary based on the ability of one man to tell a story in myriad forms. It is a labor of love and listening.

I have shaped a million words and I have cut them down, reframing them - not merely to teach the English language but to be an advocate for the human spirit, and to provoke that soul or spirit not just to recite but to happen.

Michal's Dictionary Navigation

A Learner's Dictionary: Common Words in EnglishPointer

A Person is the Common Word that Answers the Question, "Who?"

The most frequently used words in Michal's Corpus that represent common persons

Help Prevent Anti-Social Behaviour With ArtOne of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe.

Strength and dignity are her clothing...

Proverbs 31:25

Author's Note: I have been enjoined from sharing the details of my true romance adventure until such time that the other party is prepared to present her perspective on the affair arrangement...Pointer

On Monday, I arrived in Europe. By Wednesday I had bought a car. By Friday I had met the woman who a few months later would end up having travelling 6,000 miles across Europe with me.

I had come to Europe to experience European naturism, a movement whose philosophy matched my aesthetic of body acceptance and whose organizational structure and leadership I had thought almost exclusively restricted to the western half of the continent. I was shocked to learn that naturism had an official home in Poland, a country not especially known for its liberal culture. I was less shocked to discover that the home was owned by a Dutchman, but even more shocked to learn that it had been largely built by Margo.

Though I was born in Europe, I had been brought up from a young age in America, living in states as diverse as Nebraska, Ohio and Connecticut. I was taught American values and saw reality from an American perspective. She was born and raised in a village in Poland. She went to work in the nearest town. The nearest city seemed like the center of the world. The American perspective was not something she was ever planning to see.

There were times during our trip when I thought there might not be a happy ending. There were times when disaster was close and I wondered whether I hadn't made a mistake. I wondered whether fear, anger or sadness might triumph and one of us would have to finished the journey alone. Though I dangled from the cliffs of Normady I was saved. Though the lights went out I rode on. Though I ran the tires down to the wire I was okay. We drove home in one piece. We came home happy. We had started the process of learning how to listen and the sound of it was beautiful. We could be sure that we were ready to conquer the devils that abuse us no matter how long it would take.

One of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe.

6,000 miles across Europe with a complete stranger

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Day 5
7/24/2011
 4༛25/24

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THE DISAPPEARING WOMAN, THE DISAPPEARING MAN...Pointer

a collection of modern art prints and posters

During our trip across Europe, Margo very bravely opened up to me and to the camera. It was a difficult thing to do considering the scars that she carries. I wanted to share with the world her often joyful, often sad, often angry but always liberating experience except that the Internet is full of pictures of naked women and men and full of trolls who abuse them.

I realized that what I really need to point out is not the openness that Margo and I cultivated between ourselves, but the darkness that continues to surround us. When I censor nudity, I do so in a way that does not compromise the integrity of the human body. In censoring the photographs that Margo and I took during our trip, I was quick to notice that in those pictures where Margo was at her most open, at her most unguarded and most relaxed, in a word, when she was herself and basking in the sun I was forced to blacken her completely.

Why does our society drive people into darkness? Why can we not accept ourselves as we are? Why can we not accept our bodies? Have we truly become eunuchs? Or are we capable of defying the sickness that pits us against each other? Together we could conquer the devils that abuse us.

Whether you enjoy being nude or not, whether you've been photographed nude or not, but especially if, for you, like for Margo, it's something you never thought you would do, consider submitting your own photograph to be published in a censored manner as a form of protest against the ubiquitous presence of the human body on the internet, naked or not, that is published and duplicated ad infinitum without context and without regard for the identity or the needs of the individual being depicted.

Michal's Dictionary:
Understanding the word Child

A word can represent many things. First and foremost it represents a type of gesture. A specific way of speaking. A specific way of inscribing a mark. A specific way of moving your hand. To know one of these kinds of gestures is to know how to pronounce the word child in some kind of way.

If you want to communicate an idea using the word child, you will need to know what other people are made to think when you make the gesture. You will never have complete awareness of or control over the associations or identities that are invoked by a set of words, but you can know what was and what is a single word's jointly accepted definition, at least for a given place, thereby tracing a direction which will help you to understand what kinds of associations and identities are driving its use.

By using the word yourself, you enter into a long-standing albeit oftentimes unconscious debate over its definition, forever entangling yourself into the history of its use. The way you use it, and which other words you use it with carries weight.

The more you know about where the word child is located in the fabric of a language, the better you will be at exploiting its cultural power.

Pronunciation of ChildMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the word child.

Video of me pronouncing "child."

Definition of ChildMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish the definition of child.

I'm sure it won't take too long.

Common use of child in illustrative example sentencesMargo on a trampoline

  1. This is so easy. A child could do it.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  2. Now he's fighting a child custody battle. His ex is a total psycho.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  3. I have yet to come up with a third sentence using the word child.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  4. I have yet to come up with a fourth sentence using the word child.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  5. I have yet to come up with a fifth sentence using the word child.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  6. I have yet to come up with a sixth sentence using the word child.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:
  7. I have yet to come up with a seventh sentence using the word child.

    Audio of me saying the sentence:

Usage of Child in Michal's Fiction CorpusMargo on a trampoline

An image of young Michal sitting on a potty in front of a typewriter

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

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Child, a morphological approach

I have yet to make a morphological analysis of the word child.

That doesn't mean it's not high on my list.

Table of Frequency for the Word "Child."

This table lists in descending order the total number of times that the word childand any of its morphological derivations appears in the Fiction Corpus, along with a breakdown of frequency by title, the respective rank of each word in the complete list of all words in the Corpus, as calculated both densely and competitively, as well as the percent increase in frequency of the word over the frequency of the next lowest rank in the complete list.

Margo stretching her arms
Percent Increase over next rankRANKWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
densecompetitivemodern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
-----------
I have yet to publish the table of frequency for the word child, but I will get to it shortly. -Michal

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Usage of Child in Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind

A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #5292

every child dreams of freedom. as does every adult. even a dead man is obliged to feed the worms.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

15 November, 5:15 PM

Frame #4105

somebodys walking down to the first floor. an adult. not a child. its reddit.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

28 September, 2:38 AM

Frame #3708

the police called. the grandparents say mcdonalds's child is safe. no problems. and they wouldnt lie. mcdonalds killed their daughter.

Chase Credit

11 September, 3:41 PM

Frame #793

im not going to forget hulu. im not gonna let him slip through the cracks. if i save one child in this god forsaken city its gonna be him.

Ikea Credit

4 August, 1:00 PM

Frame #1602

i need to update my mapquest. instead of taking me to a nightclub it took me to a childrens dance studio.

Justin Bieber

13 August, 7:46 PM

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Usage of Child in The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars

An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

My grandmother told her own story: "We were eleven years old, my sister and I. We were traveling with other children: some younger, some older. We were - all of us - very hungry. One day, we found this old woman living on her own - actually, some young boys told us about her. They said, 'This woman has a chamber with bread and cheese. Go to her house and ask for bread. Meanwhile, we'll go and steal the food.' So we went to the woman. We told her how hungry we were; we asked for bread. She was very kind: she gave us soup - very good soup - and bread. We left very grateful for the woman's kindness, and felt sorry, since we knew that the boys had robbed her. They took half a round of cheese - white cheese: it was very good. They took all of her bread; we ate everything she had. A few days later, while passing through some other village, one of the girls with us died of typhus. During the funeral, we went to confess, but all of us kept going to the back of the line - we were scared, since the girl had died. Finally, the priest took notice, and, leading us to the sacristy, said, 'Why do you children keep going to the back?' We answered, 'Forgive us, Father, for we have sinned.' He was very surprised. 'We all share the same grave sin,' we said. 'We were hungry, and we robbed a woman of her food.' The priest said: 'You have not sinned: you did not take her food out of spite or for pleasure, but because you were hungry.' And he blessed us that very same day, the whole gang, right there in the sacristy."

Verse 75 from the chapter called Childhood

As terrible as faking an old hand-tinted photograph was, it was perfectly alright to have your own photograph taken, preferably by daguerreotype or calotype, and have it hand-tinted. These were especially popular for gravestones. Of course, the elite could afford to have many portraits of themselves taken, but the poorer classes were usually restricted to making death portraits. It was a poor man indeed who couldn't afford to have his own hand-tinted daguerreotype or calotype death portrait prepared. That man died ashamed.

Verse 17 from the chapter called Childhood

We were among Capitalists that day. When we got to the Sanctuary in Lichen, it was full of them. In trousers, crinoline, made-up and dyed - if Marx were alive, he would have sat on a rock and cried. We were impressed, but uncomfortable. We wandered; the church's nave was huge. The floor was emptied. There were three different orchestras preparing to play. I wondered how badly the Church needed money - not many people could rent out a Sanctuary for a private party, but Sacha Cohen-Krupnik, now that his father was dead, was certainly one of them. Perhaps your grandfather was allowed to use it, in exchange for giving the Church and the Cosmonauts their privileges on Mars.

Verse 22 from the chapter called Childhood

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Usage of Child in Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed

A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

As he was leaning against the walls of the cloister, Nike slid down to the ground, collapsing on the street like a beggar. That very night, he went to the nearest church: by the name of St. Ignatius.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 6, The Sixth Day, Part 1, Children & Education Reform, Section 6, Encountering Chastity, Paragraph 5

ANDY: Who said I was singling anybody out? Are you that confused, Macy? Are you that blind: you can't see what I'm saying? Sexual desire is sexual desire no matter whom you're lusting after. The man who fucks his wife with a condom is just as selfish as the man who buttfucks his boyfriend. The truth is, Macy: a man needs a womb; a woman needs a seed - and that need, in itself, has nothing to do with sexual desire. Now, when a man gives up his seed and a woman offers up her womb, they are giving something to each other - something which they may or may not desire, but, hopefully, if they do, they will receive what they want and they will keep it. Procreation is the only thing that justifies having sex; it is the only thing that makes it not selfish. Now, I don't know why we have to be divided into two sexes. I did not invent humanity. If we were like the birds and the bees, Macy, we would all be fucking our assholes - and women wouldn't even need men to have children.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 5, The Fifth Day, Part 1, Greenery & Land Reform, Section 5, Surrendering the Debate, Paragraph 8

Do you know what I'm talking about? Every time I began pouring water over that tiny head of hers, she would get extremely nervous. She would stand up in the bathtub and wave her arms about as if she were trying to fly. And, as the water came pouring down, she would squeeze her face as tightly as possible, fluttering those tiny little arms of hers. She blew raspberries to prevent the water from coming in. It was very cute - especially when the water was finished, because then she would smile, and, giggling, she would flap her arms about a few more times - but this time, much more forcefully, with determination: as if she were trying to assure us that she was indeed a very happy child.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 6, The Sixth Day, Part 1, Children & Education Reform, Section 1, Bathing Young Children, Paragraph 2

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Usage of Child in Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla

A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

The sound of a curtain whisked open sent Ferrari's head snapping back. "If you are too weak to lift it, we will understand." Ferrari's mouth dropped. In the airy shadows hovered a beauty unlike any he had ever seen. The great broad forehead, the dainty eyebrows, the round chin and the thick lip of the Great Khan himself entwined like a child's wreath of laurel and wildflower with the thin, straight nose, the strong jaw and the large eyes of a Norman hero. It was stunning.

– from “Italy Sucks and Has Sucked For A Long Time,” an adventure story featuring a frank discussion of morality

"Trick her. Tell her you found Jing on a beach populated by natives. They showed you an underground pool with miraculous power. They warned Jing not to bathe in it as long as she were pregnant. It would give her child superhuman strength. It would burst through her belly.

– from “How Tae & Bo Took Over the World and Kung & Fu Didn't,” an apocryphal bible story featuring an unknown planet

Despite its accommodations, Ferrari's father had always spent more time in apartments along the main road or at his brother's farm. Both were places of ill repute. All Ferrari had to do was make sure his father's horse was gone. At such times, he could freely visit the site of his erstwhile childhood.

– from “Italy Sucks and Has Sucked For A Long Time,” an adventure story featuring a frank discussion of the system

It's hard to say whether Ferrari loved his mother. She died of plague when he was young. Often he would try to remember what she was like by cuddling next to a pillow and pretending it was her. He grew out of that. Like many children who have lost parents, the energy that would have gone into pleasing his mother was devoted to a general resentment of other people, which he hid, and a feeling of entitlement, which manifested itself more obviously.

– from “Italy Sucks and Has Sucked For A Long Time,” an adventure story featuring a flautist

On the road home, he strolled through the orchards he played in as a child. He crossed the streams and the forests of his youth. Walking past the Cathedral, he came across two men standing next to a strange wooden contraption. "What kind of a siege-tower is this?" he asked.

"This," said one of the men, "is our Lady's chair."

– from “Italy Sucks and Has Sucked For A Long Time,” an adventure story about a man with a bull's pair

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Usage of Child in Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall

A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

FLETCHER: Good. My mother's been trying to stop her. I don't blame her for that. I feel sorry for the poor girl. Her story is a sad one. Kokomo's grandmother was raped by the Japanese while they were occupying the island of Upolu in Western Samoa. That's where Kokomo was born. Her mother was the product of that horrendous crime. Though they were the victims, both mother and child were ostracized by their tribe. Even after her mother had grown up, only the Catholic priest would take pity on them. Kokomo was the product of that pity. Eventually, she went to American Samoa to work as a prostitute for the tuna canners. One day, she came home with fifty thousand dollars and a baby. It turned out her pimp had threatened to kill her if she didn't have an abortion. Unfortunately, Kokomo made the ill-advised decision, once the baby came, to run away with the pimp's money. He ended up tracking her down. When he showed up at the mother's hut, Kokomo, in a state of pure shock, burned the money. The guy flipped out, killed her mother, slit the baby's throat, burned down the hut and forced her onto his boat. On their way to Pago Pago, they were hijacked by a bunch of pirates from Fiji. They killed the pimp and then realized he didn't have anything worthwhile except for the girl. While they stood around, trying to decide what to do, Kokomo offered them the greatest sex they would ever have in their entire lives: on the condition that they release her. They figured: why not? They could do whatever they wanted with her no matter what happened. Kokomo blew their minds. They were so satisfied, they stuck to the deal. They let her go in Fiji, where they begged her to stay and work as a prostitute. Kokomo agreed to do it, but only until she made up the fifty thousand dollars that she burned: the money that killed her mother and her newborn baby.

– ACT I, line 770

LUKE: What's the difference between the two?

MS. JACKSON: Bounty families are descendant from the original Bounty mutineers, who settled on Pitcairn Island-

FLETCHER: With their Tahitian consorts. I'm sorry. I meant their Tahitian wives. And their Tahitian slaves. I mean, their male Tahitian friends.

MS. JACKSON: The Pitcairner families are descendant-

FLETCHER: From three adventurers - to be more precise, from two ack-willy whalers and a soldier-of-fortune.

LUKE: That's a ridgy-didge pedigree. Too right!

FLETCHER: It gets better. Being a direct descendant of my namesake, Fletcher Christian, the illustrious chief of the mutiny on the Bounty, I am therefore descendant from the ancient rulers of the Isle of Man.

LUKE: A reg'lar Pommy!

FLETCHER: My father's mother was a Quintal. That means half of him is descendant from a drunken scoundrel who set his ship on fire, drove his wife to suicide, and threatened to kill the entire island population. That's not the side of the story we like to tell. We prefer the story of how John Jackson turned to Christianity and taught his children to read and write. Jackson, I'll have you know, was a Christian before he became a Jackson. He changed his name the moment the British rediscovered the island. My mother admires his cowardice so much, she did the same thing.

– ACT I, lines 93-101

(ALICE exits.)

FLETCHER: If that isn't childish, I don't know what is. Am I right?

LUKE: Is what Kokomo said true?

FLETCHER: What do you mean?

LUKE: Does she think girls are better than blokes?

FLETCHER: That's what I was trying to refute.

LUKE: She said that girls are sexier.

FLETCHER: I imagine what she was trying to say is that, with women, sexuality is more physically apparent, as if that were a good thing.

– ACT I, lines 721-727

ACT II

SETTING:Same.

AT RISE:Same.

KOKOMO: Clean. Clean. Clean. That's all I do around here. I'm supposed to be the cook. I didn't think I'd have to be the maid and the launderer and the nanny, too. Whoever said Polynesians are like children didn't know the English. They say the streets of London are paved with vomit. Nowhere is it worse than there. That's a kingdom full of stupid, dishwasher-buying buffoons. If I didn't know any better, I would say it's an island thing. Upolu is nothing like this. We have peace and quiet. I wish I could be there now: swimming in Fagaloa Bay, climbing Mount Fao, running my feet through white sand, growing breadfruit and pawpaw. If only I weren't alone in those dreams.

MS. JACKSON: (off) Kokomo!

KOKOMO: Yes, Ms. Jackson.

– ACT I, lines 1384-1389

GREY GOOSE: Not to mention this island's penchant for making the most grotesque of assumptions - never mind that. I did a terrible thing in burning down that house: I know it. I've been paying for it ever since. I'm finally sorry for doing it. I don't think I could've said that this morning. Something's changed. I don't want to be like that anymore. I don't want to do those things. I think the Australians should mind their own business; that's neither here nor there. If you didn't squeal my name to the police, somebody else did. I'm going to find that person - not to burn down his house - to talk to him calmly and rationally: to put these absurd suspicions to rest. Everybody deserves to hear the truth, especially the people you love. I was kicked out not because of my reputation or the looks you were getting in town. It wasn't because you thought I killed that girl. It was because I hurt you. I hurt you a long time ago and I've always been too selfish to realize it. I expected you to understand - even though I never properly explained myself. It had nothing to do with you. You were perfect. I loved you. I was afraid of being a father. You know my childhood - or perceived lack thereof. I was insecure. I was scared to death. I panicked. I didn't talk to anybody about it because I was ashamed. I thought that, if you knew, you would despise me for it. You were always so strong and fearless. I envied you. When your family came and asked me what was going on, I lied. I acted as if I didn't care about you anymore: as if I had lost interest. Nothing could've been further from the truth. I was an idiot. I was such an idiot. I'm sorry for that. I'm so sorry for everything. I won't trouble you anymore. Even if you and your friend want to move in together, I won't trouble you. File divorce papers in the morning. You can keep the house - and the sofa bed - and the mattress - and the comforter - and the dishwasher. You can even keep the cook - and the boy.

– ACT II, line 356

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Usage of Child in Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats

A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

The ambulance arrived. The professor was pronounced. The cops showed up. Statements were taken. The body was hauled off. Expressions of regret and complete disbelief were shared. Mark was dismissed. He went back to his rounds. Even after everything that happened he was still able to finish his deliveries an hour before his evaluated time was up. He went home happy. He could sit on his couch and pretend he was being paid to drink margaritas for fifty minutes. He bragged later to friends and family that not even seeing a man die could slow him down. So they call him Magnificent.

– from “Wrong Again,” a success story to teach children about stuff that happens that may or may not work

Jessica gave a devilish look. "If your husband wasn't coming?" she asked.

Sarah looked away. Her silence made Jessica burst into laughter.

I went to the stables after dinner. Jeff was there grooming the horses. I asked him why he was going after a married woman.

– from “A Magnum Condom,” a bedtime story to teach children about adult stuff that may or may not work

In the end the professor's wife settled her wrongful death suit out of court. She moved out of East Farmville and the busted mailbox she had propped up in memory of her dead husband became another spider hole. Another clogged paper cemetery which Mark and the other substitutes kept cramming junk mail into because they didn't want to bring it back to the office. Life moved on. Somebody bought the house. They put up a new box. Fresh mail started coming in. Judging by the amount of Free Matter for the Blind, Mark hoped he wouldn't be seeing any more amateur photographers anytime soon.

– from “Wrong Again,” a success story to teach children about adult stuff that may or may not work

I learned later that the headman of the village had asked that I be replaced. He had claimed to the Ministry that I was crazy. That I talked to myself. That all the parents in the village were afraid to leave their children with me. I proved him wrong. If not for Putin and my three pupils, I would've been packing my bags for Moscow that very weekend. I would have lived in the village for all of two weeks instead of almost twenty years. I would never have stayed to teach a community of children how to grow up. I would never have married a local Russian girl. I would never have become the village headman. I would never have run for mayor.

– from “A Black Man in Moscow,” an inspirational story that represents something true, though the details are not factual

Indiana lay her head on the crook of my neck. I slid my fingers beneath her underwear. I lifted her onto my hands. I held her by the skin of her bottom. I rocked her. I kept pace with her lilting chest. Our shoulders rose and fell. We were like a mother and child.

She told me Albert was sick. He was going to die. I cooed. I kissed her on the cheek. I told her I would put her to bed.

– from “St. Andrew's Eve,” a story of love that may ease one's sense of distaste depending on your outlook

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Collocation of Child in the Fiction Corpus

Table of Collocation for the Word "Child."

This table lists in descending order of frequency a selection of word pairs that appear in the Fiction Corpus and groups them according to the morphological derivation of the word child that appears in the pair.

TypeWORDFrequency
TOTAL # of occurencesMCDONALDSJESUSSEXTSIGAJACKSONDINGBATS
modern/sloppybiblical/tersepoetic/high-browhard/fasttalkymixed salad
--------
I have yet to perform a collocation analysis of "child." I hope I can get it done sometime soon. -Michal

Love is the answer...

What are we waiting for? Let's accept it!

Are you a eunuch?

The art show that defies abuse

The Body Acceptance Calendar

A really good idea for a monthly calendar

If a 45-year-old businesswoman and hard working mother of three kids is going to pose nude for a calendar, it's gonna have to be a good one. Margo didn't start a coffee shop called the Vagina Cafe to win her favors from the establishment. Even as she dishes out prizes to the 20 women who placed last in the twentienth anniversary run of her town's biggest road race, her business, unlike everyone else, doesn't get mentioned. She was an official sponsor for Christ's sake! But the announcer just couldn't swallow his patriarchy and get the words "Vagina Cafe" out of his mouth. That's not something a proper gentleman would say in front of a crowd of humble God-fearing "ladies" who cherish their modesty! And a Body Acceptance Calendar is certainly not what a humble God-fearing book-seller like a Barnes and Noble would put on their shelves! So how do I expect to sell this in the mainstream? Maybe if you download the free versions a thousand billion times it might help. Start downloading.

A miniature portrait of MichalMargo at the beach

Help maintain the "Child" page up and running...

If you love women and art...

Michal's exporting Polish art...is he loco?

Michal's Sales Pitch
Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts

  1. T-shirt fundraiser for sale

    Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser for sale.

    Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed. Pointer

    From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  2. Felt handbag for sale

    Handcrafted felt handbag for sale.

    Felt bag by Dorota. Pointer

    Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  3. Decorative collar for sale

    Handcrafted decorative collar for sale.

    Decorative collar by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  4. Seamless handbag for sale

    Handcrafted seamless handbag for sale.

    Handbag by Sylwia. Pointer

    Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  5. Patchwork quilt for sale

    Handcrafted patchwork quilt for sale.

    Patchwork quilt by Alicja. Pointer

    Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  6. Nuno-felt shawl for sale

    Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl for sale.

    Shawl by Sylwia. Pointer

    Scarf made ​​with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  7. Clara the doll for sale

    Handcrafted clara the doll for sale.

    Clara by Alicja. Pointer

    Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  8. Noah the doll for sale

    Handcrafted noah the doll for sale.

    Noah by Alicja. Pointer

    Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  9. Black suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted black suspenders for sale.

    Black suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  10. Orange suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted orange suspenders for sale.

    Orange suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  11. Green suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted green suspenders for sale.

    Green suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  12. Felt earrings for sale

    Handcrafted felt earrings for sale.

    Felt earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  13. Round ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted round ceramic earrings for sale.

    Round ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  14. Oblong ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings for sale.

    Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  15. 'Coral' necklace for sale

    Handcrafted 'coral' necklace for sale.

    Corals by Sylwia. Pointer

    Necklace made ​​of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser
Handcrafted felt handbag
Handcrafted decorative collar
Handcrafted seamless handbag
Handcrafted patchwork quilt
Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl
Handcrafted clara the doll
Handcrafted noah the doll
Handcrafted black suspenders
Handcrafted orange suspenders
Handcrafted green suspenders
Handcrafted felt earrings
Handcrafted round ceramic earrings
Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings
Handcrafted 'coral' necklace