Michal is mulling over the concept of boosting his extravagant Fiction Corpus with a history of the performing arts; cites fatigue
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I have faith in the concept of exercising English as a common language for the world. I don't have faith in the demoralizing steps through which the English tongue is taught.
Enriching a person's handiness with a language isn't like promoting a cleaner piece of coal. A language - a common language - is not just an instrument that you can learn to wield with a greater amount of precision. A language can't be dissociated from the philosophical currents of a tribe of people of which it is a description. A language isn't recited; it happens - and keeps happening as long as a circle of people keeps using it.
To make a person recite English is to strip him of its cultural context. A proper teacher has to create a strategy for introducing it; the prudent student ventures out to seek it.
A dictionary has the potential to be an influential tool. The best dictionaries describe a language on the basis of a specific corpus, a set of writing of various size and consistency. Such a corpus could contain everything from a book about literature to a whole bunch of experimental fiction. I watched many nights pass creating my "trifling" Fiction Corpus to form a special class of dictionary based on the ability of one man to tell a story in many different forms. It is a labor of love and listening.
I have drafted a million words and I have evaluated them, reformulating them - not merely to teach the English tongue but to defend the human spirit, and to goad that spirit or soul not just to recite but to happen.
The way to understand a language is to categorize its elements. Each word belongs in a box and there only so many boxes.
You only need eight boxes or eight categories of words to understand English. At the highest level, you have what-words and who-words, how-words and why-words, where-words and when-words, whose-words and which-words.
What-words can be further categorized into the same eight boxes. Artifacts are the what-what-words. Persons and people are the who-what-words. Fuels are the how-what-words. Fetishes are the why-what-words. Places and times, the where and when-what-words respectively. Acts are whose-what-words and Kinds are the which-what-words.
These linguistic categories relate to the seven categories of culture, which in turn I organize according to day of the week.
Just as Sunday can both start the week and end the week, Sunday or Victory Day (a day for artists) is related to both which-words and whose-words, or kinds and acts.
Monday or Labor Day (a day for capitalism) represents the how, or a fuel.
Tuesday or Family Day or Prayers Day (a day for love) represents the what, an artifact.
Wednesday or Assembly Day or Constitution Day (a day for law and order) represents the where, or place.
Thursday or Greenery or Science or Earth Day (a day to study movement) represents the when, or time.
Friday or Children's Day (a day to educate) represents the the who, or people.
Saturday or Armed Forces of Democracy Day (a day for hope and strength) represents the why, or fetishes.
Pronunciation of Who
I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the word who.
Video of me pronouncing "who."
Definition of Who
The word who is a prime word that is used to both ask and answer questions concerning persons.
An index for who
I have yet to index the section Who.
Samples of Fiction from Michal's Corpus
Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.
A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.
Frame #4646
i got halfway through painting the new name when i realized im gonna have to give the whole hull a new coat. why am i doing the name.
An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.
"I was told," continued Sapper, "that after we passed Wroclaw, we would exchange places - but no: he was too proud. And you know what? The windshield vents must have been broken or something: I had to wipe the vapor off with a towel every five minutes. When the towel was soaked, I used up all the tissues; then, toilet paper. It was ridiculous. In the morning, I noticed that there was a defrost button; I don't think my grandfather even knows it's there. If I had seen it, I would've turned it on - or at least, I would've tried to - but the night was pitch black! And the windshield was soaked: halfway through the trip, I ran out of paper. My grandfather had to use his hand. He took off his glasses 'cause he couldn't see! Leaning forward, he was squinting out of his one good eye. It was just about the scariest thing I've ever had to live through: tractor-trailers, one after the other, squeezing us, passing us. When they went in the opposite direction, they would blow us so much wind, I thought we would tip over: the whole car would shudder.
In the third grade, we kept singing, "This Land is Your Land." The choir was rehearsing for some kind of stupid assembly. There was an older boy there who kept saying that we were singing the goofy lyrics: the stupid lyrics made for children. He wanted to sing the real words. The teacher said these were the real words and we should be quiet. Your father asked him how he knew that these were fake. He said his older brother had told him. I asked him if he actually knew the real words. He said yes. The teacher got very angry with us and gave us both red cards.
A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.
NIKE: Alright: well most people credit the man for beginning the fall of Communism, seeing as how the secret denunciation of Stalin's 'cult of personality' was by no means secret for long, and such frankness on the part of someone who actually participated in purges and liquidations, and the current leader of the party no less: it came as a shock to most people, no matter how incompletely or euphemistically the terror was described.
Now I understand that you may be unaware of certain conditions. And I also understand that you may be superstitiously afraid of discussing a situation that is not only beyond your direct control but upon which your own feelings and desires precariously hinge. But how do you expect me to help you when you neglect to mention your own involvement? Considering what you have told me, don't you think it's important to mention everything else? I have to hear it from our mother? who, of course, has to hear it from Indiana? Did you honestly think it wouldn't reach me? How can you be so childish? You were obviously well aware that I knew nothing about it; I would have chastised you immediately. Liszt! Of all people, you decide to play Liszt! You know how twisted that is.
I enjoyed his cleverness, but I tried hard not to show it. "Let me reassure you," I said, very sternly. "It will be a very long time before I 'lay myself open' to anyone else in the future, be it artistically, emotionally, or physically." And I swore that boy to secrecy, which, I trust, he kept - although I suppose I am now eager for you to verify this. As far as I know, he was the only person who knew about that incident; I received his oath in exchange for my explanation.
A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.
Clark jerked his head. He knit his eyebrows. Turning to Pepsi, he asked, quite seriously, "Is that why we're here?"
To expedite their affairs, the two borrowed codewords from golf. 'Scotch foursome' meant they would alternate women. If Junior yelled, "Greensome," he was keeping his own. 'Scrambling' involved sharing one girl. As a matter of courtesy, she would have to attend the other player's flagstick. If there were very little green, a 'flop shot' would be called, which Junior enjoyed watching land either on the face or on the back.
Shephard straightened up. It was going to be close. The humvee was barreling towards him. He squeezed the clutch. He placed his foot on the gear pedal. He pushed all the way down. He twisted the throttle. He curved his lips into a slight smile. Whoever was behind that wheel, he was trying to run him over. Shephard remembered his time at the Pentagon. He had written a press release once about a drunk-driving marine. His humvee had left skid marks for twenty yards at that speed. If this man wanted to avoid a collision, he would have to hit the brakes now. He didn't. Shephard released the clutch. His tire screeched. Like a mad march hare, he leapt towards the dunes. The humvee careened to a halt. It paused only for a moment. It turned west. It burst into the sand.
A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.
KOKOMO: I don't.
GREY GOOSE: You love it. You enjoy every minute of it.
KOKOMO: Like hell I do.
GREY GOOSE: You were born for it.
KOKOMO: That's a lie.
GREY GOOSE: You've said so yourself, haven't you? The day you popped out of your mother's hairy, little cunt, you realized you had to work for a living: you had to cry.
KOKOMO: You are an abomination.
GREY GOOSE: Who taught you to use big words like that?
KOKOMO: Certainly not you.
GREY GOOSE: You've been reading the bible. Get in there.
– ACT I, lines 861-870
LESBIAN: I can put this one back. No one can accuse me of stealing it. I just borrowed it to show that some things in life are more important than others. Whom am I kidding? I took it to get into my landlady's panties. I'm a terrible human being. There have been worse than me - like the person who stabbed that poor girl sixty-two times: the first murderer this island has had to fear in more than one hundred and fifty years. Both suspect and victim were like me: alien to this place. Why did we come? What did we hope to find? Peace? We scared her off. Happiness? Satisfaction? Understanding? Why here? Why do we trespass on other people's land? It stands in our way - but of what? There's nothing beyond what's right in front of us at any given time. There's no way of knowing that unless you trespass. All that one can hope to do is make as little damage as possible along the way. We are all criminals, whether we like it or not. Though some of us are big and some of us small, we are all cut from the same dough. That's not the easiest thing to believe when one man robs or kills another man. What was my crime? Why am I punished? Why am I the only one who's alone? Or is it just my imagination? Are there others out there who can see me? Who know me? Who can feel my pain? If there are, I salute you. I would kiss you if I could. I can't, so I just say, 'Thank you.'
– ACT II, line 583
(MS. JACKSON exits.)
KOKOMO: You should've washed.
FLETCHER: What difference would that have made? I wore my suit yesterday. Nobody cared - except for me. It was killing me. No, Mother: that prosecutor took one look at me and old man Menzies and that was it. We were out of there. Thank you kindly.
KOKOMO: Did it take long?
FLETCHER: Long enough to waste my time.
MS. JACKSON: (off) Why would he not want you?
FLETCHER: Who knows? Perhaps the prosecution thinks I'm immature.
KOKOMO: You're not?
FLETCHER: No.
MS. JACKSON: (off) It's because you're unpredictable, like an old man.
– ACT I, lines 8-16
FLETCHER: Next you'll say my mother.
ALICE: Why not Kokomo?
FLETCHER: Our cook?
ALICE: She's pretty.
FLETCHER: That's not the point.
ALICE: I think she's beautiful.
FLETCHER: You like boys: strapping young men, who know how to treat a woman right.
ALICE: Stop it.
FLETCHER: You like it when they stroke your arm and your back.
ALICE: Stop.
– ACT I, lines 672-681
FLETCHER: You assume I lied about that.
MS. JACKSON: I've never heard you accused of anything.
FLETCHER: No one's ever gossiped to you about me or what I do or whom I see?
MS. JACKSON: Why are you being so contrary?
FLETCHER: I'm just surprised you didn't hear anything about me and Mrs. Menzies making out behind St. Barnabas. I guess the McCoy brothers kept their end of the bargain. They extorted five hundred and fifty-two dollars from me in exchange for promising to keep quiet. Cash, by the way, is very hard to come by on this island. What could I do? I couldn't have the usual gossip substantiated by solid testimony from a pair of young, sweet, innocent-looking boys, could I?
A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.
"Listen to me," said Orbitz Número Dos. "Stay aft of the bulkhead by the mizzenmast. On the side of the sauna. That chunk of the ship gets blown into the tesseract. It'll be spinning so fast you'll be knocked out. There's nothing else you have to do. The tesseract gets nudged by the explosion. It drifts on its own back into the singularity."
"I'm lying," said Orbitz Nombre Trois. "I used to do that to myself all the time. I know exactly which way I came. I tried to beat myself. I got stopped for questioning on the cruise ship. There was no way around it. Just like there's no way around the gas giant. You're going to fail."
"I can't know that for sure," said Orbitz Número Dos. "As far as I know you and the other one are hallucinations."
If a 45-year-old businesswoman and hard working mother of three kids is going to pose nude for a calendar, it's gonna have to be a good one. Margo didn't start a coffee shop called the Vagina Cafe to win her favors from the establishment. Even as she dishes out prizes to the 20 women who placed last in the twentienth anniversary run of her town's biggest road race, her business, unlike everyone else, doesn't get mentioned. She was an official sponsor for Christ's sake! But the announcer just couldn't swallow his patriarchy and get the words "Vagina Cafe" out of his mouth. That's not something a proper gentleman would say in front of a crowd of humble God-fearing "ladies" who cherish their modesty! And a Body Acceptance Calendar is certainly not what a humble God-fearing book-seller like a Barnes and Noble would put on their shelves! So how do I expect to sell this in the mainstream? Maybe if you download the free versions a thousand billion times it might help. Start downloading.
Your purchases keep the "Who" page up and running...
If you love women and art...
Michal is exporting art from Poland...is he daffy?
Michal's Sales Pitch Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts
T-shirt fundraiser for sale
Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed.
From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Felt handbag for sale
Felt bag by Dorota.
Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Decorative collar for sale
Decorative collar by Zuzanna.
Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Seamless handbag for sale
Handbag by Sylwia.
Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Patchwork quilt for sale
Patchwork quilt by Alicja.
Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Nuno-felt shawl for sale
Shawl by Sylwia.
Scarf made with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Clara the doll for sale
Clara by Alicja.
Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Noah the doll for sale
Noah by Alicja.
Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Black suspenders for sale
Black suspenders by Zuzanna.
Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Orange suspenders for sale
Orange suspenders by Zuzanna.
Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Green suspenders for sale
Green suspenders by Zuzanna.
Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Felt earrings for sale
Felt earrings by Dorota.
Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Round ceramic earrings for sale
Round ceramic earrings by Dorota.
Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Oblong ceramic earrings for sale
Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota.
Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
'Coral' necklace for sale
Corals by Sylwia.
Necklace made of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.