Michal wants his films to empower women... What made him try?
Posted:
I'm the kind of guy who for the most part will urinate standing up. That's not to say that I don't enjoy a good sit-down once in a while when I'm peeing. I do think I'm in touch with my feminine side. Regardless of that, I think that female empowerment is good for men. Out of my own self-interest, I started learning how to listen.
Having learned to consider a woman's needs as if they were my own - no matter how ridiculous - I've given myself a chance to grow. I want to give that chance to others.
I've decided to export fine art handcrafted by women in Poland to America. High quality handcrafted art produced by high quality women deserves to be shared. The more I can sell stateside to people who know the difference, the more I can buy from those whose worthy hands to continue the fight for openness and equality, a fight that I've taken to the world wide web.
Your support ensures that films for women will make a difference.
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Janina: An Oral History of the Twentieth Century in Southern Poland
Chapter 36: "Write Letter!"
Janina relates how the Austrians kept up their contact with her husband and the kindness they showed during the economic deprivations experienced by the country while under the threat of martial law and their cooperation in qualifying him for a pension from their respective governments which he would receive until his passing at the turn of the century.
I fondly remember the Scholastic Book Club catalogs I got in elementary school when I was a kid. I was always looking forward to getting them. It was fun to read all the descriptions and figure out what types of literature interested me the most, although it was particularly upsetting if a world literature anthology I liked was too expensive to even think about buying. I had to make informed decisions. Otherwise it meant a trip to the library and the hope that somebody else wouldn't have checked out any of my books-to-read.
There was one book that was always at the library but that I never had the courage to check out. It wasn't science fiction. It was a book about sex. I was afraid to hold it. Opening it made my heart race. I was afraid to be seen standing in the aisle. I had to switch aisles. I was a long way from the children's section but this was the one place in my world where I could see what a naked girl my age looked like. In the photograph she was standing in a line of girls and women, each progressively taller, older, rounder, fuller. If I had been able to at the time, I would've given this book a nobel prize just for this photograph. I wanted to know what girls were hiding and this was the one book that had the courage to show me the truth. Just having the chance to see the truth was satisfying, not to mention the fact that I was fascinated by the changes represented in those bodies. That I had to hide myself in a corner of a public library in Lincoln, Nebraska in order to see this truth opened up many questions for me.
The last time I was in a library I saw a grown man sitting in front of a computer unashamedly clicking through pictures of large breasts in bikinis on Facebook. If this man were able to do it, I'm sure he would give Facebook a nobel prize for providing this type of literature. He and I are products of a culture that fetishizes the human body. All primitive cultures fetishize something. They give it a specific charge, either positive or negative. It's the "why" that drives a community. Cowboys drive a herd of cattle by negatively fetishizing the land on either side. Men are driven the same way. For us to build a truly free society, one marked not just by sophisticated technology but also by a sophisticated culture, we will have to destroy the fetishes that drive us.
It doesn't matter what types of literature you like. Whether you like reading science-fiction or sampling world literature of an adult nature, just keep in mind that your choice is a little nobel prize of its own. Your choice dictates what kind of writing takes place. If you want humanity to live like cattle, do nothing. If you want to be a cowboy like me, see the fetish for what it is. Destroy its power.
Pronunciation of Funny Story Jokes
I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the words "funny story jokes."
Video of me pronouncing "funny story jokes."
Definition of Funny Story Jokes
I have yet to publish the definition of Funny Story Jokes.
I'm sure it won't take too long.
References for funny story jokes
I have yet to find good references for Funny Story Jokes
Samples of Fiction from Michal's Corpus
Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.
A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.
Frame #219
im at the coffee shop. i better get the straight talk. none of this territorial garbage. we dont need to be stepping on each others toes.
Samples of Story Writing from The Gospel of Jesus H.
An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.
Now as your grandfather has no doubt told you, Abrams Tank was the first Panzer-Tank on Mars. He brought with him a suit (of course) and a whole mining company. His mining company, Panzer-Tank Mining, started the very first successful iron mine on Mars. Abrams Tank was very successful. After his son took over the mine, he started a very successful glass factory: Glass Panzer-Tank Style. It made very good Martian glass. This led to a construction company: Panzer-Tank Construction. At the age of seventy-five, Abrams Tank built the Glass Pyramid which now marks the center of Centropolis. His son became the first governor of Mars.
"'No, boy: that's bogus. Sherman 'Lucky' Panzer the Second was the first man to walk outside these walls. He was the first; he was the bravest. He didn't think he was gonna make it, though. He was pretty sure he was gonna die. He said it, but everyone else said 'don't worry, man, you're gonna be fine.' His father said it. "For the glory of Guderians," he said, "you have to do it, son." His father's five hundred privates said it: "Do it, Sherman. We know you can do it." All of Centropolis said it. "Do it, Sherman," they yelled. "Do it."
"'The story?' said the miner. 'You want to know the story?' I nodded. 'The only story, boy, is that Sherman 'Lucky' Panzer was the richest, most arrogant son of a Martian whore who ever graced this planet. His boy, Sherman 'Lucky' Panzer the Second, was the fattest, most obnoxious son of a Martian dickwad who ever got to live in the Glass Pyramid. You know what he had for breakfast?' I shook my head. 'He had milk! eggs! butter! Not gruel, boy! You know what I mean?' I shook my head. 'Of course you don't: you've never tasted it. Well, Sherman 'Lucky' Panzer the Second was so thick-headed, he thought he could be the first man to walk outside without his suit. And you know what? He was.'
Your grandfather has told you something. I don't know what, but he must have told you something. He must have explained to you why you have no parents. But you do have parents! They are very close to you - closer than you think. They love you. I know that.
A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.
The bathroom was much less filthy, and this, I thought, could only mean one thing: Luke probably had not been taking advantage of it - but I'm sure that you could think of other, equally plausible theories. Enough about Luke; I refrained from cleaning his bathroom - let's leave it at that. Letting the shower run, I washed out my mouth and sat down on the toilet.
Perhaps I was to blame; my memory does give me the impression that, after a certain point, it was I who habitually engaged Macy with my own dissertation. But that is trivial; if he had so desired he could have changed the course of conversation whenever he wanted. I do recall one time when I seemed to be boring him; I remember asking if I were boring but I don't remember what he said.
No, on the contrary, my ego would grin, because he had betrayed his hand, broken through the artifice, exposing the ankle of his soul, but perhaps most of all because he had committed the gravest sin of an entertainer: he had been openly didactic.
Macy and I did not see each other till the new year, establishing a regrettable pattern of intensely brief encounters followed by lengthy separation - separation very rarely experienced in terms of geographic distance. When we next saw each other it was after the start of term, and we had each fallen into our respective schedules. But because of our mutual friend Nike, we were often able to see each another - in virtually the same kind of company we had kept in Austria, with the difference of course being that Nike, although highly entertaining, was not a woman, and this changes a dynamic considerably.
As fascinating as all these distinctions are, they do not in themselves catapult a certain wine into five or four-star strata. The dynamics of pricing wine are subject to far less dignified factors; the discriminating taste may find satisfaction at the lowest of denominations. I don't mean to imply simply that there is no disputing taste - 'de gustibus' and 'one man's meat' - all fine, well established. I'll quietly respect any man's preference if he insist. But I do mean to point out that certain criteria will, in fact, set things apart.
– Title 1, Regarding Peaches and Bananas, Part 1, Section 1, Introduction, Paragraph 1, Clauses 20-24
A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.
"Good point. It's a freak show every way around. I'm waiting for the transmidgets to pop out."
"This guy found somebody."
"She's doesn't look too bad. I want to see the customer. I wanna make sure he deserves it."
"I know. You're not alone anymore. I'm here. You could've scared yourself half to death running like that. You're not even wearing shoes. Imagine if you had cut your foot."
Nike looked into her eyes. She stared back. She murmured, "You? What are you doing?"
The woman's gastrocnemius bulged. With the humble soleus, it pulled her heel: oh splendid tuber! growth that takes the brunt of our standing, balancing our attempts at uprightness, seed from which blossoms man, which the serpent bites, protect yourself from harm; may we lift you as you walk: that you might crush the serpent. May all our heels be protected. May they not be spoiled by weight. May they glide across earth fearing no evil, no serpents, no stones to bash them. May they be as beautiful as that woman's heel, flying as it was across the road of my dream, casting small, delicate shadows.
Something darted. I turned my head. I jumped. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was the road, bathed in headlights. Somebody was driving. There was a passenger. I stretched my arms. I gripped the corners of the bucket seats. I tried to pull myself. I barely moved. My arms were powerless. I sat back.
A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.
LESBIAN: The overcoat?
FLETCHER: The penis.
LESBIAN: I couldn't see. It was too dark.
FLETCHER: You mean you didn't look.
LESBIAN: I looked.
LUKE: You mean you didn't have a chance to taste it.
MS. JACKSON: Oh, my God!
FLETCHER: What?
MS. JACKSON: It's gone! My heirloom pincushion is gone!
– ACT I, lines 190-198
LUKE: Tee tee ta.
FLETCHER: What the devil was that?
LESBIAN: It's a haka dance developed by the Maori people of New Zealand. I didn't know Aussies could appreciate it.
LUKE: It's me old school chant - thanks to the junior rugby union.
GREY GOOSE: Your husband's been teaching it to me.
ALICE: That's what you do together. I thought you drank.
GREY GOOSE: Actually, I just challenged him to a drinking contest. He accepted.
LUKE: I'm not gonna let him drink with the flies, am I? Besides, he just challenged me.
MS. JACKSON: Go.
ALICE: Go.
– ACT I, lines 375-384
ALICE: It's difficult. I like it. Sometimes I do wish he were more sensual.
MS. JACKSON: I know the feeling.
ALICE: When we have sex, it's all about the penetration. There is no foreplay.
LESBIAN: Nothing?
ALICE: Spread 'em and weep.
MS. JACKSON: Men are such animals - present company excepted, of course.
ALICE: Did you see that performance they put on?
LESBIAN: Absolutely dreadful.
ALICE: I thought it was sexy.
LESBIAN: It reminds me of a dance I saw in Fiji.
– ACT I, lines 394-403
LUKE: Kissa kissa kissa ha!
Winna tee, winna tee.
Tee tee ta.
FLETCHER: What the devil was that?
LESBIAN: It's a haka dance developed by the Maori people of New Zealand. I didn't know Aussies could appreciate it.
LUKE: It's me old school chant - thanks to the junior rugby union.
GREY GOOSE: Your husband's been teaching it to me.
ALICE: That's what you do together. I thought you drank.
GREY GOOSE: Actually, I just challenged him to a drinking contest. He accepted.
LUKE: I'm not gonna let him drink with the flies, am I? Besides, he just challenged me.
Samples of Story Writing from Miscellaneous Dingbats
A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.
China is full of noise these days. People everywhere. Doing everything. Anything they can to make it. I know there's a cost to the churning. Families split apart. Like the Limas. Ten kids all over the world. San Jose. New York. Vancouver. London. Paris. Tokyo. All born in Hong Kong. If the rich can't keep it together what hope is there for the poor. I've seen the peasant families on TV. Parents who see their children once a year. Until the kids run away from their grandparents and find work in a bar somewhere.
The next day Putin came with his grandson. This was to be my first pupil. Putin told me not to do anything special. Not to even bother asking the boy questions. He was dumb. All I had to do was keep talking to myself as I had been doing. His grandson would listen.
When Putin came to pick up his grandson, I noticed he was sneaking around the schoolhouse. He had brought the boy to me not out of a sense of fairness, but out of craftiness. He wanted his grandson to profit at the expense of the other villagers. Putin admitted to me as much. Which is why I was surprised to see not just one pupil the next day, but three. It turned out Putin had bragged to his neighbor about how smart his grandson would get just by listening to my ravings. The neighbor had sent his children.
On the next day one of the old men was back. I asked him to come inside but he stayed at the window. He wanted to know where I was from. I gave him a brief history of my country and we started arguing over European aid to Africa and whether the Soviet Union was right to have ever been there. It seemed like no matter what I said I was wrong. At least the man treated me like a civil human being. Until he got angry with me and left. I went back to teaching my imaginary class.
I almost called the police. On my own mother. The look in her eyes as I restrained her. Sight unseen. So full of spite and hate. Towards her own son. If her husband hadn't come to take her upstairs I would've done it. She wasn't backing down.
If a 45-year-old businesswoman and hard working mother of three kids is going to pose nude for a calendar, it's gonna have to be a good one. Margo didn't start a coffee shop called the Vagina Cafe to win her favors from the establishment. Even as she dishes out prizes to the 20 women who placed last in the twentienth anniversary run of her town's biggest road race, her business, unlike everyone else, doesn't get mentioned. She was an official sponsor for Christ's sake! But the announcer just couldn't swallow his patriarchy and get the words "Vagina Cafe" out of his mouth. That's not something a proper gentleman would say in front of a crowd of humble God-fearing "ladies" who cherish their modesty! And a Body Acceptance Calendar is certainly not what a humble God-fearing book-seller like a Barnes and Noble would put on their shelves! So how do I expect to sell this in the mainstream? Maybe if you download the free versions a thousand billion times it might help. Start downloading.
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Michal's importing art from Poland...is he nuts?
Michal's Sales Pitch Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts
T-shirt fundraiser for sale
Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed.
From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Felt handbag for sale
Felt bag by Dorota.
Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Decorative collar for sale
Decorative collar by Zuzanna.
Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Seamless handbag for sale
Handbag by Sylwia.
Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Patchwork quilt for sale
Patchwork quilt by Alicja.
Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Nuno-felt shawl for sale
Shawl by Sylwia.
Scarf made with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Clara the doll for sale
Clara by Alicja.
Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Noah the doll for sale
Noah by Alicja.
Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Black suspenders for sale
Black suspenders by Zuzanna.
Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Orange suspenders for sale
Orange suspenders by Zuzanna.
Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Green suspenders for sale
Green suspenders by Zuzanna.
Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Felt earrings for sale
Felt earrings by Dorota.
Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Round ceramic earrings for sale
Round ceramic earrings by Dorota.
Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
Oblong ceramic earrings for sale
Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota.
Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
'Coral' necklace for sale
Corals by Sylwia.
Necklace made of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.
To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.
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