Michal's HeadlinesFunny Short Story

Michal presents 4Occupy, an online art gallery and culture blog

Bridging the 7 Pillars of Culture for All Mankind...click & drag the logo to share this page

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A miniature portrait of MichalMichal Recommends:

Sauna Cezar

Bielsko-Biala, Poland

Photographs by Michal Slaby
A map showing Bielsko-Biala's position within Silesia
Bielsko-Biała lies in the corner of Silesia
Margo behind a tree

Funny Short Story, a cultural reference

Understanding the world from all angles...

Michal believes in helping women through film... Is he a fool?Filmy dla Kobiet poster

To me, the vagina is a symbol of equality and acceptance. In our modern age, we may not all have passed through one, but the door is always open - to everything, for better or for worse. I want to protect that idea. I want others to open themselves up to the needs of others. I want them to listen.Pointer

Despite the enormous challenge, I'm learning to listen to women. Everyone should have the same chance to reap the benefits of that knowledge.

I've decided to export fine art handcrafted by women in Poland to America. High quality handcrafted art produced by high quality women deserves to be shared. The more I can sell stateside to people who know the difference, the more I can buy from those whose worthy hands to continue the fight for openness and equality, a fight that I've taken to the world wide web.

Your support ensures that films for women will make a difference.

If the clip has trouble playing please try a version with a lower resolution.

Janina: An Oral History of the Twentieth Century in Southern PolandPointer

Chapter 35: Marlboro Cigarettes

Janina recalls her bold attempts to sell cigarettes while in Vienna and the large fruit she found there that reminded her of her home in Trembowla and her naughtiness as a young girl.

Michal's Dictionary:
Funny Short Story

I fondly remember the Scholastic Book Club catalogs I got in elementary school when I was a kid. I was always looking forward to getting them. It was fun to read all the descriptions and figure out what types of literature interested me the most, although it was particularly upsetting if a world literature anthology I liked was too expensive to even think about buying. I had to make informed decisions. Otherwise it meant a trip to the library and the hope that somebody else wouldn't have checked out any of my books-to-read.

There was one book that was always at the library but that I never had the courage to check out. It wasn't science fiction. It was a book about sex. I was afraid to hold it. Opening it made my heart race. I was afraid to be seen standing in the aisle. I had to switch aisles. I was a long way from the children's section but this was the one place in my world where I could see what a naked girl my age looked like. In the photograph she was standing in a line of girls and women, each progressively taller, older, rounder, fuller. If I had been able to at the time, I would've given this book a nobel prize just for this photograph. I wanted to know what girls were hiding and this was the one book that had the courage to show me the truth. Just having the chance to see the truth was satisfying, not to mention the fact that I was fascinated by the changes represented in those bodies. That I had to hide myself in a corner of a public library in Lincoln, Nebraska in order to see this truth opened up many questions for me.

The last time I was in a library I saw a grown man sitting in front of a computer unashamedly clicking through pictures of large breasts in bikinis on Facebook. If this man were able to do it, I'm sure he would give Facebook a nobel prize for providing this type of literature. He and I are products of a culture that fetishizes the human body. All primitive cultures fetishize something. They give it a specific charge, either positive or negative. It's the "why" that drives a community. Cowboys drive a herd of cattle by negatively fetishizing the land on either side. Men are driven the same way. For us to build a truly free society, one marked not just by sophisticated technology but also by a sophisticated culture, we will have to destroy the fetishes that drive us.

It doesn't matter what types of literature you like. Whether you like reading science-fiction or sampling world literature of an adult nature, just keep in mind that your choice is a little nobel prize of its own. Your choice dictates what kind of writing takes place. If you want humanity to live like cattle, do nothing. If you want to be a cowboy like me, see the fetish for what it is. Destroy its power.

Pronunciation of Funny Short StoryMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the words "funny short story."

Video of me pronouncing "funny short story."

Definition of Funny Short StoryMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish the definition of Funny Short Story.

I'm sure it won't take too long.

References for funny short storyMargo on a trampoline

  • I have yet to find good references for Funny Short Story

     

Samples of Fiction from Michal's CorpusMargo on a trampoline

An image of young Michal sitting on a potty in front of a typewriter

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Samples of Story Writing: Table of Contents

Samples of Story Writing from Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind

A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #649

i scheduled a meeting with bernstein for tomorrow. he wants to meet at the courthouse too. its like the walls of the prisons are crumbling.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

2 August, 5:47 PM

Frame #691

barrys daughter is at the courthouse again. she saw me from across the hall. she waved a finger at me. not the middle one.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

3 August, 12:11 PM

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Samples of Story Writing from The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars

An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

"'He did it alright,' said the miner. 'But first, he had a great feast: three bowls of pickle soup to start! Green salad! Potato salad! Sausage! Two pieces of ham! A pheasant! Partridge! Grouse! You see what I'm talking about? The man had game birds on Mars! The governor's meat! Game! On Mars! Roebuck! Moose! Wild boar! His father built a sheltered wilderness! He hunted! He ate the game! With sauerkraut and beans! With gravy! Bowls of fruit! Pears and peaches! Plums and grapes! A bowl of nuts for dessert! Platefuls of cakes! Jam! And then...'

"'What?' I asked, my eyes wide open.

Verses 65-66 from the chapter called Childhood

We are always intrigued by the unfamiliar. Someday, perhaps Russians will bring us chicken broth and we will wonder at it. My grandmother used to tell me how Poles went to Germany to sell their lard, and how it sold! as if Germans had never seen a pig before! Lard with onions! On bread! Smeared on bread! Lard smeared on bread was the greatest thing they had ever seen. It makes one laugh, but these things happen.

Verse 71 from the chapter called Childhood

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Samples of Story Writing from Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed

A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

But he was always telling his stories to other people. Some of them I would hear several times, depending on the company we shared, but never, not once, was I personally privileged with a story. His opinions I would hear, sometimes even his principles; he always shared his feelings, which is something I rarely did and only with great difficulty; on the other hand, he rarely gossiped, but he offered countless anecdotes, often involving other people; none of these, however, were stories, which included all these elements and more besides.

– Title 1, Regarding Peaches and Bananas, Part 2, Section 5, Falling in Love, Paragraph 4, Clauses 4-7

But my jealousy and our intimate relations were able to coexist for a long time, and one did not overpower the other until, of course, a woman came between us. Ms. Christie was a charming woman, in large part because, unlike Macy, she was completely artless - by which I mean: it was much harder for me to notice when and how she was consciously pursuing self-promotion.

– Title 1, Regarding Peaches and Bananas, Part 2, Section 6, Third Party Intervention, Paragraph 1, Clauses 1-3

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Samples of Story Writing from Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla

A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

"Don't be afraid," said Nike. "That's just my ride. My friend was looking for me." The woman held her tongue. "You shouldn't be walking out here: it's dangerous." Silence. "Criminals are known to drive around. They prey on lonely people." Silence. "I'm not one of them. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm passing through. You shouldn't be alone-do you have a phone?"

The woman opened her mouth. She hesitated to speak. She finally said, "I'm not alone."

– from “Paris Is For Rapists, Too,” a ghost story featuring poverty of the mind

"Wait!" cried Nike. "Let me help." He caught up. He darted in front of her. He stopped her by the shoulders. "Who?" he asked. "Who told you to come?" Her eyes filled with-not terror-something like ambivalence. Nike pressed the question. "What's his name?"

She tried to pass. Nikki pushed back.

– from “Paris Is For Rapists, Too,” a ghost story about the human body

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Samples of Story Writing from Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall

A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

(GREY GOOSE and LUKE exit.)

MS. JACKSON: Barbarians.

ALICE: Some honeymoon: Luke spends more time with your husband than he does with me.

MS. JACKSON: He can have him. I do feel sorry for you, Alice.

ALICE: I don't mind. He makes up for it with other, more important qualities of manliness.

LESBIAN: Is he large?

ALICE: Yes.

MS. JACKSON: How large?

ALICE: Massive. I can barely take it.

LESBIAN: I don't know if I would like that.

– ACT I, lines 385-393

FLETCHER: Bigger than your husband.

LESBIAN: Or so I'm told. I didn't actually see them. What I saw was smaller: about six or seven feet. They had these big beaks and enormous eyes made from concentric circles: each circle colored differently from the next. They looked like crazed chickens dancing around like that. Of course, with masks so big, the focus turns to a dancer's legs, the swaying of his hips-

MS. JACKSON: And everything in between.

ALICE: Ms. Jackson!

LESBIAN: His arms are busy holding up the mask.

MS. JACKSON: I'm not surprised: making women do the work.

LESBIAN: I wonder if any Polynesians use a big mask. Would your cook know?

MS. JACKSON: Probably not. Where is my cook? Does she know the kitchen still needs cleaning?

FLETCHER: Why are you looking at me?

– ACT I, lines 424-432

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Samples of Story Writing from Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats

A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

Before Putin left I asked him if a plague had wiped out the rest of the village. He went into a rant about how the other villagers were idiots. The women who had been with me on the minibus had accused me of trying to seduce them or to poison them with chocolates. They were convinced I was here to do the same thing to the kids. They told the parents to keep their children at home until the headman could figure out what to do. I was taken aback. I never thought a box of chocolates could turn somebody into a devil. I knew it wasn't the chocolates. It made me wonder though what would have been their excuse if not that.

– from “A Black Man in Moscow,” an inspirational story based on things that were actually reported, though the details are fictional

I don't know who to thank for my fate. I know God has a lot to do with it. As does Putin. And my own imagination. And the many friends of mine at university. And Barack. And Obama. And Khalifa.

– from “A Black Man in Moscow,” an inspirational story that describes what certain people go through, though hopefully you're not one of them

Love is the answer...

What are we waiting for? Let's accept it!

Are you a eunuch?

The art show that defies abuse

Still Life, Patriarchy

Contemporary wall art to remind us that Father always says Father knows best

To promote democracy, the strong must empty themselves of their strength. The weak must be granted the opportunity to grow strong. We cannot force the end of patriarchy. To do so simply perpetuates feudalism under a different name.

A miniature portrait of MichalMargo at the beach

Help me keep the "Funny Short Story" page alive...

If you love women and art...

Michal's importing art from Poland...is he brainsick?

Michal's Sales Pitch
Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts

  1. T-shirt fundraiser for sale

    Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser for sale.

    Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed. Pointer

    From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  2. Felt handbag for sale

    Handcrafted felt handbag for sale.

    Felt bag by Dorota. Pointer

    Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  3. Decorative collar for sale

    Handcrafted decorative collar for sale.

    Decorative collar by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  4. Seamless handbag for sale

    Handcrafted seamless handbag for sale.

    Handbag by Sylwia. Pointer

    Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  5. Patchwork quilt for sale

    Handcrafted patchwork quilt for sale.

    Patchwork quilt by Alicja. Pointer

    Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  6. Nuno-felt shawl for sale

    Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl for sale.

    Shawl by Sylwia. Pointer

    Scarf made ​​with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  7. Clara the doll for sale

    Handcrafted clara the doll for sale.

    Clara by Alicja. Pointer

    Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  8. Noah the doll for sale

    Handcrafted noah the doll for sale.

    Noah by Alicja. Pointer

    Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  9. Black suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted black suspenders for sale.

    Black suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  10. Orange suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted orange suspenders for sale.

    Orange suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  11. Green suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted green suspenders for sale.

    Green suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  12. Felt earrings for sale

    Handcrafted felt earrings for sale.

    Felt earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  13. Round ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted round ceramic earrings for sale.

    Round ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  14. Oblong ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings for sale.

    Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  15. 'Coral' necklace for sale

    Handcrafted 'coral' necklace for sale.

    Corals by Sylwia. Pointer

    Necklace made ​​of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser
Handcrafted felt handbag
Handcrafted decorative collar
Handcrafted seamless handbag
Handcrafted patchwork quilt
Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl
Handcrafted clara the doll
Handcrafted noah the doll
Handcrafted black suspenders
Handcrafted orange suspenders
Handcrafted green suspenders
Handcrafted felt earrings
Handcrafted round ceramic earrings
Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings
Handcrafted 'coral' necklace